Ekalb Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 This girl and I have been texting every day for the last six months until recently she admitted that she has feelings for her ex. We started out just texting after not having seen each other in a long time and we instantly clicked. After a few months of texting each day things started to get more flirtatious and we began having more personal conversations about each others lives. I went to school with her, have know her quite a while and share the same mutual friends. We live in different cities now and her ex from over 6 years ago has recently moved back to the city where she lives. He is also part of our friendship group and they have all been hanging out together the past couple of weeks. I asked her about her feelings towards him and after avoiding the question multiple times she admitted that she likes him and that old feelings had been stirred up. She said she would be interested to see what would happen if they hooked up and if any feelings were still there, but she does not want to hurt me and wouldn't act on anything.*I told her I trust her but I don't trust her emotions, I don't want to stop her living her life and that we should just be friends. She said she can't handle us drifting apart and things becoming weird. She also said*she likes me so much it's killing her. I said we should cool it because my feelings are only going to get stronger. She was upset but the conversation pretty much ended there. This has all been via text massage and we have not been on a date but we did have plans to hang out when I was visiting next month.*I still want to maintain the friendship and it has been almost 9 days since either of us have spoken. Last night I tagged her in something on Facebook that I knew she would like and she commented "You remember who I am???". I feel like a may have annoyed her by not messaging her at all, although she has not messaged me either. The past week has been very difficult for me. I'm not over her and find myself constantly stressing about the situation. I don't want to loose her as a friend and I'm*trying to get over my feelings and not contact her but it feels like no contact with her might be causing us drift apart.*I'm not sure if it's a good idea to message her. If we start conversing again I think may*get a little overwhelmed with emotion*and maybe say some regrettable things but at the same time all I want to do is talk to her. What should I do to preserve the friendship/potential future relationship but protect my self from getting hurt?
PegNosePete Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 What should I do to preserve the friendship/potential future relationship but protect my self from getting hurt? Don't be friends with someone you have feelings for. Do not date people who still have feelings for their ex. Do not use text messaging to discuss important issues in your relationship. Your phone can also make phone calls you know. 2
Satu Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 Too complicated. Too many loose ends. Take a few steps back. No contact for a few days, at least. 1
preraph Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 This is kind of one of those reverse "If he's getting the milk, he doesn't need the cow" things. Why stand by supporting her when she's still after her ex? It will NOT pay off in the end. Tell her you don't plan on just being her friend and are going away until such time she feels she's gotten closure with her ex and is ready to date you in earnest.
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