seanster138 Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 So me and my buddy are talking about girls/relationships and we are so happening to talk about his ex. My good friend had a girlfriend whom he been with since high school. They been together for 7 years. They were best friends and partners. I would never ever think in a million years they would break up. They always seem to have everything figured out. They basically left their home country, to came to the states to live. About a year living in the states. He said ,he had caught her talking with guys on dating websites, and she started lying to him a lot , and she only started seeing him when she wanted favors. Then about 2 months after that, she started seeing a guy behind his back, to which she left him for, then another 3 months, she moved in with him. He said she had gotten pregnant then ended up getting an abortion all for the same guy she left my buddy for. He hasn't seen or spoken to her since. He said she blocked him of Facebook for about a year, then unblocked him and changed her number. The only thing he knows, she moved to another college. All this happened 2 years ago. Now, it so happened that I got accepted to the same college, and it turned out I saw this now ex gf of his, still with this guy(who was not good looking at all) . Now I was very taken a back to find out that she had changed -- alot, she swears alot now(she never used to), she lost her wonderful personality that I had known her to have. She just seems different not in a bad way, but in a fake way. When I mentioned when was the last time she spoke to my buddy, she said they hadn't spoke in a long while and that she doesn't want to talk about it. I mean I don't mean to be a cockblocker, I feel like she knows deep down she messed up. Another back story, before they broke up, my buddy never had a job, a car, a place of his own. But he was smart, he had a small online bsuiness at the time, (which was a passion of his), he loves to code, do app developmeny. .... etc. So the guy she left him for had, a job, a car and a place of his own at the time(stability, which was what she was looking for) But now, my buddy is doing great, he got 3 lucrative online web businesses, 3 sports cars, a pent house now, and he works as an advisor for an IT firm, while still going to school part time. Now my question is, why did she do all of this? Why did she change? why leave like this, offering no explanation, no closure .... ntn
Standard-Fare Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 "Why do girls change?" isn't a fair question here. PEOPLE change. Time changes them. My question is, why are you so invested about your buddy's relationship? 4
SycamoreCircle Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 The short of it is immaturity, growth, change. She made choices that didn't align with your buddy's path. Had she known that your friend was going to be so successful, would she have stayed with him? Probably not. We don't always seek the most secure, the most outwardly beneficial path. Why did she leave so abruptly? She made a choice to. She was responding to some inner impulse. There is great thrust, in Western culture especially, to be individual. To carve out your destiny. It's ingrained in everyone around us. The meaning of life. It sometimes leads people in less than savory directions. 1
Author seanster138 Posted February 17, 2015 Author Posted February 17, 2015 (edited) "Why do girls change?" isn't a fair question here. PEOPLE change. Time changes them. My question is, why are you so invested about your buddy's relationship? It is just strictly for conversation reasons. We are here talking about it right now, so I just wanted to see what the internet thinks. Do people really change, or is it the circumstances around their situation that change? Edited February 17, 2015 by seanster138
No Limit Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 She's grown accostumed to how her shmoopie behaves. But what must happen in somebody's mind to actively pursue bad choices, I cannot tell nor understand I'm afraid.
autumnnight Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 This kind of stuff: changes, breakups, radical life shifts - all of it has been happening for as long as relationships have existed. Stuff happens. People screw up. Just because one person does it or five people do it doesn't mean everyone or all girls or all men do it. I don't remember all this generalizing stuff going on when I was in the young dating pool. Is it social media or the information age that has made this change? I don't remember guys wanting a guarantee before they asked a girl out or women feeling the need to make a man sign a contract before he kissed her....and I don't know of a single girl who secretly schemed to get pregnant with random men. I must be getting old. 1
Got it Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 Yes people change. Events/actions impact them and they adapt some in a better manner and some in lesser manner. We change alot in our late teens and early 20s but people continue to evolve over the years. Thank goodness I am not the same person I was when I was in my early 20s! There are some core things that are the same but there are some that have evolved based on some excellent Life lessons and hard hitting feedback.
preraph Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 It's normal growth and maturity. People in their 20s are naturally drawn to exploring all their options. It is often both the best times and the most painful times of their lives, but it's a necessary and normal maturation to continue to grow and change, and that often, probably more often than not, means changing and leaving many people behind.
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