Short Guys can't get Dates?

[insert_name]

While I understand that extremely short men will have genuine trouble dating, those, say, under 5'5", for the ones who are above that height complaining about shortness keeping them down,well, their biggest impediment isn't their height but probably their lack of confidence or their lack of social skills, and that's what they should work on. I knew plenty of guys under 5'7" who had hot girls after them all the time. Of course, some of those guys had a really nice face or something like that to help them out, but for most it was a matter of their personal confidence and just having a great personality.

 

IRL. The profiles of most of the women on Match would make those who think height is not an issues eyes water. I had an awful experience on Match but i came away from it at least counting my blessings that I am over 6 ft. I am let down by a slim physique, which, after height, is the next disqualifier. Basically, based on the countless profiles I browsed, if you are a white, athletic (or bigger up to heavyset) male of 6ft+ then you are in demand on Match.

Edited February 17, 2015 by insert_name

[lino]

Don't know about online dating but in the real world in my country short guys have no problems getting women.

[Buddhist]

Get on match and do a search for girls age 20 - 30. Almost all of them list their height requirement, it's usually 5'10 or 6'. I would assume the guys are lying in order to talk to the girls. The height thing is no myth

 

My thoughts here.

 

People aged 20-30 have a high incidence of immaturity and are more likely to be following social scripts about what they 'should' be in love with. What a woman has on her wishlist and what she will have sex with, often do not match. Do a search on that same site and you will get every guy aged 20-30 saying he only wants to hear from women aged 18-24. What those preferences are about is ego, not true preferences.

 

Personally I love a short guy, it means we aren't going to have any major logistical problems in bed because we are of comparable heights and probably weight as well. It doesn't limit the sexual positions we can engage in. I bet 'failure excuse' guys never thought of that angle. My tallest guy complained that he didn't want to do it standing up (my fav position) because of our height difference. Boo!

[Nikki Sahagin]

My bf is short and I love his height. I've been out with 6 footers before and liked there height also. What I like about my bfs height is that we are the same level so when we hug, walk together etc it's much more comfy. I don't have to crane my neck to look up at him or hug him. I'm not talking to his ankles half of the time.

 

I think rather than the height its usually that some men feel insecure about there height/or have been given bad feedback re height (after all we live in the culture of tall, dark and handsome) so they feel naturally insecure and project this out there.

 

It's a bit like a B or C cup woman feeling that she will be passed over for a D, DD or E cup. A large part of the insecurity is social conditioning:

 

Men are supposed to be tall

Women are supposed to have large breasts/long hair etc

 

Attraction doesn't JUST sit with what we are told we should like though. It's true that generally people are predisposed to certain traits above others but what we can be attracted to would often surprise us.

 

For example my brother, who loves blondes, ended up with a half English half Indian girl the exact opposite of his type; dark skin, brown hair and eyes when he always loved blue eyed white blondes.

 

I always thought my type would be 6'6 but my bf is less than half of that and he's my dream man

[Buddhist]

For example my brother, who loves blondes, ended up with a half English half Indian girl the exact opposite of his type; dark skin, brown hair and eyes when he always loved blue eyed white blondes.

 

I always thought my type would be 6'6 but my bf is less than half of that and he's my dream man

 

This. You can have all the wishlists and criteria in the world but if the universe has other idea's then you'll end up with what works, not what looks good on paper or in your head. I was quite surprised one day when I found myself staring into the face of a rather attractive but extremely small framed man. By small framed I mean 5' tall with hips that looked like they might break if he fell off the curb. But the guy oozed sex at me and I couldn't help myself. He wasn't a smooth talker, in fact he was a bit dorky in acting super shy and awkward around me. Just made me want to get naked even more. Some guys have just got 'it' and unsuspecting women don't always know what that package looks like.

[Mangina]

Some really nice posts from Buddhist and Nikki, but we can not change people's preferences. You have to understand that if the girls say nobody under 5'10" or 6' we have to respect that. There isn't anything we can do about it, we can't tell her to give us a chance or what the 2 of you wrote. It comes off as needy and desperate.

Edited February 18, 2015 by Mangina

[Buddhist]

You don't need to, time will take care of that itself. Understand that immature women are no different to immature men, hung up on stupid details that don't actually matter. It does no good to focus on people who are like this as even if you got them, you would never be able to keep them anyway because you aren't a walking fantasy. Which is all they are really into anyway.

 

If you are at a natural disadvantage on a dating site, (and I fall into this category as well. While I'm okay to look at, I photograph horribly) then accept that dating sites are not your arena. Use one in which you have a natural advantage. It took me a while to realise this, but what most guys go for with me is my intensity in person. I can only communicate that one to one, so I never bother with any dating arena that does not give me that advantage. You have to figure out what your best feature is and use that like it's the keys to the magic kindgom, rather than coming to the table with your least advantage front and centre.

[Nikki Sahagin]

I think dating sites are bad for this though. People have to reduce what they want in a partner to a shopping list of 'more desired traits.' In real life, yes you see the physical package but you also get a sense of chemistry. Also in real life, when we meet men or women they aren't usually standing in a police line up and being selected in comparison to others; online dating is like a mix of supermarket shopping with a very strict list and that good old police line up.

 

It would be like if you met Megan, Scarlett and Carmen Electra all standing in a line.

Or Channing, Brad and Leo.

It might suddenly be harder to pick.

[wb1988]

People like to blame factors out of their control rather than just face the fact that they are rubbish at using OLD, their profile sucks and their photos look like a 12 year old took them.

It's both OLD and offline. When I hear a 5'5 guy blame his height for why he has no dates I think he thinks that he would be drowning in female attention if he only that 2-3". Even 6'2" guys complain about not getting any dates, it's not like you see all the girls only go for the tallest guy.

 

Get on match and do a search for girls age 20 - 30. Almost all of them list their height requirement, it's usually 5'10 or 6'. I would assume the guys are lying in order to talk to the girls. The height thing is no myth

They're probably annoyed by the liars so they set a high enough height where it weeds out the possibility of a shorty, or they are aware that many men lie.

 

Thats kind of my point... has been all along... looks, height etc do not matter.

Really? All of those things matter, everything matters. You're like one of those guys that say that you don't need money to be happy.

 

Whether people want to admit it or not, height does affect your dating pool. Even at 5'11", I still get quite a few profiles I can't message due to a 6' requirement. This isn't a large sample size, but of the top 10 mutual matches I have, the lowest height requirement is 5'7" with most 5'9" and above. I'll grab a large sample size later.

 

Most of those women don't really know height. I'm a solid 5'9" (measured many times during my fitness program) and many of my exes, female friends and even my mom have thought I was 5'10 or 5'11. Actually it's only females that guess the wrong height, when I ask a guy they always say correctly 5'9".

 

Average male height for the UK is about 5'10. 6' or over puts you approximately top 30%.

I've heard that before but I don't believe it. When I walk around most guys are exactly my height (5'9"), many shorter and only a few are taller (albeit much taller). Actually, maybe it's true because average is not the mode.

 

The vast majority of women I pursue are around 5'2. I don't even bother going after women that are taller than me.

That might be the problem. A lot of short women have this short person syndrome and then only go for really tall guys, like 6'1"+. You're better off looking at women around 5'4" or slightly higher.

 

There has only been 1 time where my height at 5'9" (maybe 5'9.5" after rolfing haha) has been an issue. It was when I was chatting up a girl who was about 5'1 (short enough to cause neck issues) who later dismissively said that she's really only into tall guys. Lol an 8-inch difference wasn't enough.

 

Girls that are 5'8"+ usually have no personal height issues and are the type that would date a guy shorter than them, actually a few girl's that have chatted me up were slightly taller than me.

 

This is why online dating is the absolute worst.

It can sometimes, but it can often be great. I remember trying POF about 6 years ago and getting 3 bad dates in like 2 months. I tried it again last year with instagram-style glamour photos and suddenly got many good responses and enough dates for me to consider POF as a serious alternative to the bar downstairs

 

The trick is to look at the photos of other guys in your area and make sure that yours are much better. If you have good facial aesthetics then definitely have many pics with others for comparison!

Edited February 18, 2015 by wb1988

[insert_name]

My thoughts here.

 

People aged 20-30 have a high incidence of immaturity and are more likely to be following social scripts about what they 'should' be in love with. What a woman has on her wishlist and what she will have sex with, often do not match. Do a search on that same site and you will get every guy aged 20-30 saying he only wants to hear from women aged 18-24. What those preferences are about is ego, not true preferences.

 

Personally I love a short guy, it means we aren't going to have any major logistical problems in bed because we are of comparable heights and probably weight as well. It doesn't limit the sexual positions we can engage in. I bet 'failure excuse' guys never thought of that angle. My tallest guy complained that he didn't want to do it standing up (my fav position) because of our height difference. Boo!

 

In theory thats spot on- however OLD does not relate to reality because the dynamics at play are unlike any offline situation. Yes, a wish list might be 'nice to have' but if you are getting messaged by men who are all 6ftft+ it goes from being a 'nice to have' to a baseline want because you can achieve that want every time.

 

So yeah, a guy would probably not complain at being able to snag <25 year olds but when they are pushing 30 thats not likely to happen. There are so many 6ft guys out there that for women its more than a reasonable want. When I was on match I got so little contact from women i couldnt afford to have a criteria, I would entertain anybody depending on their profile & pics.

 

We need to hear more anecdotal evidence from short guys on how many responses they got off OLD. I dont see many success stories from guys who are 6ft+ let alone shorter guys.

[CrystalCastles]

I have just been going through the guys on the On Line Dating site I am on...

 

There are hardly any under 6ft tall... Most are around 6ft 2" - 6ft 4"

 

I guess they are either lying or short guys really do have a better chance of dating as there are not many on there... Some of them have pictures of them standing next to others and yes they are tall...

 

As PegNosePete said, "the "short guys can't get dates" is just another excuse for failure". Yep, pretty much.

 

I'm a 5'11 girl dating a 5'5 guy. Obviously I don't give a $hit about the height difference. Never did. Most guys I've dated were shorter than me, and the rest were my height. Height isn't something I've ever noticed when choosing a man.

 

Threads like these always bring all the struggling dudes together to complain about how no girls date short guys. What tosh. There are girls out there who really don't care about height whatsoever, and I'm one of them. That will be something I will never care about. And I'm sure I'm not the only one. Struggling dudes just want to blame something, anything, rather than themselves- maybe their lifestyles need a change, maybe their attitudes.

 

My partner is intelligent, loyal, caring, kind, witty, funny and very attractive. The whole time we have been together he's always put my needs first. We have amazing chemistry. His height is something that matters not one whit to me because he's the kind of guy most girls would kill to have and he's mine.

 

Besides, the supreme superficiality of OLD is really unsurprising. From what I've seen on there and heard about on here, literally any woman can request a guy way out of her league who she would never bother trying to get with IRL. Even the women the size of Humpty Dumpty or the ones who look ugly seem to be unstoppable in their unrealistic requests. OLD judges looks but skips out on personality entirely which is sad.

[M_Theory]

I'm 5'8 and majority of women turn me down telling me specifically that I am not tall enough for them. Even though I am taller than they are, they say that they like to wear heels, and want the guy to still be 2-3 inches taller while wearing said heels. I think its partially a bs excuse and the main thing is they want the guy to be 6ft or up.

 

Anyone that doesnt believe this is either lying, doesnt know what they are talking about, or has never tried to date American women.

[Buddhist]

 

I think its partially a bs excuse

 

This is true.

 

and the main thing is they want the guy to be 6ft or up.

 

No. The main thing is they are not attracted to you personally and don't want to say exactly that because it hurts people's feelings and isn't what a caring person would do.

 

Anyone that doesnt believe this is either lying, doesnt know what they are talking about, or has never tried to date American women.

 

Now that's a little bit of bs that you tell yourself at night in order to reject any evidence that your pet theory may not be right. While it's true I have never dated an American woman, but I most definately know that I've never banged a guy over 6ft and plenty of guys under. That's no lie.

[newmoon]

I'm 5'8 and majority of women turn me down telling me specifically that I am not tall enough for them. Even though I am taller than they are, they say that they like to wear heels, and want the guy to still be 2-3 inches taller while wearing said heels. I think its partially a bs excuse and the main thing is they want the guy to be 6ft or up.

 

Anyone that doesnt believe this is either lying, doesnt know what they are talking about, or has never tried to date American women.

 

do they say this online or in person? it's MUCH easier to write that than to say it, and it's easier to have a height requirement online and to go 'up' in your requirement (as a female) knowing that men exaggerate their height. so, while 5'10 is probably ok with mot women, you have to put 6' to make sure that short(er) guys stay away, if that is what you want. i am 5'10, and lots of guys who i have met offline claimed to be 6' in their profiles, but were shorter than me, so they were obviously shorter than 5'10 and upping their height. i'd rather shop the goods in person so i can know what i'm getting and vice-versa. no more online dates.

[Buddhist]

In theory thats spot on- however OLD does not relate to reality because the dynamics at play are unlike any offline situation.

 

Then stop wasting your time on OLD and get out there in front of women offline where your chances will be better. I understand the feeling of frustration you guys feel and the pressure to conform to fantasy ideals. What I don't understand is why you continue to pursue a strategy that has failed spectacularly for you. Basic reason tells you, if something doesn't work, stop doing it. It won't start working just because you do it for the next 50yrs.

[NJ123]

My bf is short and I love his height. I've been out with 6 footers before and liked there height also. What I like about my bfs height is that we are the same level so when we hug, walk together etc it's much more comfy. I don't have to crane my neck to look up at him or hug him. I'm not talking to his ankles half of the time.

 

I think rather than the height its usually that some men feel insecure about there height/or have been given bad feedback re height (after all we live in the culture of tall, dark and handsome) so they feel naturally insecure and project this out there.

 

It's a bit like a B or C cup woman feeling that she will be passed over for a D, DD or E cup. A large part of the insecurity is social conditioning:

 

Men are supposed to be tall

Women are supposed to have large breasts/long hair etc

 

Attraction doesn't JUST sit with what we are told we should like though. It's true that generally people are predisposed to certain traits above others but what we can be attracted to would often surprise us.

 

For example my brother, who loves blondes, ended up with a half English half Indian girl the exact opposite of his type; dark skin, brown hair and eyes when he always loved blue eyed white blondes.

 

I always thought my type would be 6'6 but my bf is less than half of that and he's my dream man

 

Do you ever get thoughts deep down that you wish your boyfriend was taller? Since your ideal guy was a tall man.

[NJ123]

I'm 5'8 and majority of women turn me down telling me specifically that I am not tall enough for them. Even though I am taller than they are, they say that they like to wear heels, and want the guy to still be 2-3 inches taller while wearing said heels. I think its partially a bs excuse and the main thing is they want the guy to be 6ft or up.

 

Anyone that doesnt believe this is either lying, doesnt know what they are talking about, or has never tried to date American women.

 

I just find this weird since only 14% of men are 6 feet or taller in the U.S. So who are these women winding up with?

[M_Theory]

do they say this online or in person? it's MUCH easier to write that than to say it, and it's easier to have a height requirement online and to go 'up' in your requirement (as a female) knowing that men exaggerate their height.

 

I have heard it online and in person.

 

I have been in a group of people, and woman A tells woman B "check out that guy at the pool table...he looks hot". Woman B says..."yea...too bad he wasnt taller"

 

I have been witness to situations like that over and over. And I guarantee others on this forum have seen it as well. But I know for a fact some women on her choose to not say anything because they dont dare fuel my side of the argument because dont want to paint their gender as being stuck up.

 

Its almost as if theres women behind the scenes running a "dis-information" campaign to make it look like none of this goes on, and its simply just a few whiny guys that dredge this up with no evidence to base it on.

[spanishchick00]

Of course short guys can get dates! Its a preference thing. I'm 5'1 and my height requirement for a guy has to be 5'9 and over. Just like guys prefer women with big boobs, heck I prefer tall men.

[NJ123]

Of course short guys can get dates! Its a preference thing. I'm 5'1 and my height requirement for a guy has to be 5'9 and over. Just like guys prefer women with big boobs, heck I prefer tall men.

 

Men absolutely do not understand the type of logic women like you have. Why do they NEED to be 8 inches taller than you? So if a 5'6" guy had an amazing personality, and you got along with him great, & he had a good looking face you still wouldn't date him?

 

No where near many guys will reject a woman that doesn't have big boobs compared to a woman rejecting men for their height. And besides, women can get breast implants, a guy can't change his height.

[Buddhist]

Its almost as if theres women behind the scenes running a "dis-information" campaign to make it look like none of this goes on, and its simply just a few whiny guys that dredge this up with no evidence to base it on.

 

Sisters! We've been busted. The covert operation has been exposed!

 

Dude, maybe it is just a few whiny guys that dredge this up. None of us said it never happens, but we don't happen to agree that 85% of the world's population of males (who are under 6ft) are all virgins until death. Because the evidence in the world points to it being otherwise. Just the evidence in this thread points to it being otherwise.

 

But here, have a tinfoil hat to protect you from the psychic emanations of the illuminati.

[M_Theory]

Men absolutely do not understand the type of logic women like you have. Why do they NEED to be 8 inches taller than you? So if a 5'6" guy had an amazing personality, and you got along with him great, & he had a good looking face you still wouldn't date him?

 

No where near many guys will reject a woman that doesn't have big boobs compared to a woman rejecting men for their height. And besides, women can get breast implants, a guy can't change his height.

 

 

And studies show that majority of men are not as boob crazy as women/society thinks they are.

 

yes men may like nice boobs on some blonde they see....but they rarely reject a woman for not having a certain cup size.

 

Women reject men due to height thousands of times more so than guys do over cup size.

[M_Theory]

Sisters! We've been busted. The covert operation has been exposed!

 

Dude, maybe it is just a few whiny guys that dredge this up. None of us said it never happens, but we don't happen to agree that 85% of the world's population of males (who are under 6ft) are all virgins until death. Because the evidence in the world points to it being otherwise. Just the evidence in this thread points to it being otherwise.

 

But here, have a tinfoil hat to protect you from the psychic emanations of the illuminati.

 

 

See.....there will always be 1 or 2 women on here that try to discredit and make fun of any thread that brings up this topic.

[NJ123]

And studies show that majority of men are not as boob crazy as women/society thinks they are.

 

yes men may like nice boobs on some blonde they see....but they rarely reject a woman for not having a certain cup size.

 

Women reject men due to height thousands of times more so than guys do over cup size.

 

Yep, exactly.

[M_Theory]

I'm surprised there hasnt been the good ole Tom Cruise excuse thrown in on this debate.

 

I swear every time a thread about height comes up some woman says "Look at Tom cruise...hes short and he gets women".

 

EVERYONE knows many women have a huge issue with height when it comes to dating, so I dont know WHYYYY there are women that still try to extinguish it and act as if its just a few pissed off guys making it all up.