SydneyGirl84 Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 Hi everyone I have had a few situations lately where I have been interested in a guy who isn't interested in me. Yet I get a lot of attention from guys who I am not interested in which is annoying haha. I can't really see any obvious reason why the ones I like are not interested but obviously there is something. Not to brag, but I do get a lot of guys looking at me when I am out and about in public including really good looking ones. So there's no issue with the way I look. Seems to be more when I'm in situations like at work, in classes I am doing, on online dating websites etc. places where the contact is more than just passing each other in the street. So lately I have been thinking, am I just aiming out of my league? I never really thought about this before haha but how do I tell what my league is anyway?
Buddhist Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 (edited) I have had a few situations lately where I have been interested in a guy who isn't interested in me. So lately I have been thinking, am I just aiming out of my league? I never really thought about this before haha but how do I tell what my league is anyway? This site is your friend. Why Do Guys?? ? If You Don't Understand Him, You Could Miss Out On Who He Really Is There's actually a detailed article answering this exact question of why guys you don't like are into you and the ones you do like are not. Now back to this league business. I used to think I was in the league of the solid 6's. Yes, yes I know. There is no imaginary scale of hotness and no such thing as leagues (unless you're a guy and then there is). But I was pretty sure that's where I was batting for pretty much all of my 20's. Turns out, with a bit of weight loss and totally different wardrobe I scaled right up into the 8's & 9's in my late 30's. I realised this was my league when guys I considered too hot to go for were actually making deer in the headlight faces at me and approaching me and then going out on dates with me. The big difference about the way they treated me, is that I didn't act overly flattered and eager when they approached. And I didn't go bat**** crazy over them when we were together, hanging on their every word etc. Truth be told I was a bit over relationships and pretty much not interested in one at this stage. So how to find your league? Simple. In these situations you talk about just don't hang on a guys every word, laugh at every joke or appear overly interested in what they are doing. In short, don't be a lovesick puppy at their heels. Play it cool, reserved and aloof for a while. Then see who comes seeking you out. This is the type of guy genuinely attracted to you, rather than the one basking in the glow of your fandom. Edited February 17, 2015 by Buddhist 1
Zzyxx Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 Hi everyone I have had a few situations lately where I have been interested in a guy who isn't interested in me. Yet I get a lot of attention from guys who I am not interested in which is annoying haha. I can't really see any obvious reason why the ones I like are not interested but obviously there is something. Not to brag, but I do get a lot of guys looking at me when I am out and about in public including really good looking ones. So there's no issue with the way I look. Seems to be more when I'm in situations like at work, in classes I am doing, on online dating websites etc. places where the contact is more than just passing each other in the street. So lately I have been thinking, am I just aiming out of my league? I never really thought about this before haha but how do I tell what my league is anyway? I have this problem as well, but for me it totally comes down to the problem of online dating. I've been told by several people that I'm pretty, and I'd say I'm probably a six on a good day and with a little work put into me, so that's something to work with, and I don't usually have too much of a problem getting a first date. HOWEVER, when people meet me in person I think they've let their expectations of physical chemistry (I don't look any different from my pictures, so it's not about looks in this case, but spark) be too high, and then I've already gone against myself cause I have to battle their expectations of me. I've also been told by a woman out of my league that I was really funny and very charming, and that sense of humor was the main important factor to her, but she still didn't want to go out on a second date, cause I guess she she couldn't get physically attracted me, since she hadn't seen me in person first. So I don't really know if it's a question of leagues. The woman I just talked about was way out of my league across the board (hot Doctor driving a Mercedes) and it was obvious, but she still went out with me cause she liked what I had to say. So I would just be yourself and do what Buddhist said. Sometimes I think it's just that it takes some people longer to determine if there's spark there than others, so they agree to go out on one or two dates and then aren't feeling it. I think it's just the sucky part of dating rather than anything you're doing. It sounds to me like these guys do think you're hot at first, but then maybe after they get to know you they don't think you're their type for whatever reason, and that sucks, because it's what I'm going through as well, but I don't think there's really a solution (other than to not rely soley on online dating, but it doesn't sound like you are.)
d0nnivain Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 I don;t believe in leagues. If two people are mutually attracted to each other they are free to date. Movie stars date non famous people all the time. A prince married a commoner (now in that case there were leagues & those two defied centuries of convention). Look at all the opposites you see all the time. As for why the guys you like don't like you or why you don't find the guys who are interested in you attractive, that has a lot of factors but leagues aren't one of them 1
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