clynn Posted April 4, 2005 Posted April 4, 2005 any comments on people with experience with this? Good / bad / otherwise ?
miggsbucks Posted April 4, 2005 Posted April 4, 2005 bad because its all too easy to obsess about them afterwards! you can "check-up" on them, see my very recent post (tonite actually):- post about my last online date
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 I could go on a long rant about this, but I'll just say generally, bad idea. And your friends will probably make fun of you for it. And they'll probably be justified to do so.
moimeme Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 I have a friend who swears by it. Some people have bad experiences and some have great ones. Just like dating in 3D.
alphamale Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 forget it. the hardest & best way to meet people is still in the real world.
gridiron Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 A few years ago, I tried one site for a couple of months, just for kicks. Let me just say I have discovered that intelligence and wit from the written word can sometimes be very different from that of the spoken word.
Pendawn Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 It's very useful if you are leading the kind of life which makes it difficult for new people to come into your life eg if you work in a solitary job, all your friends are coupled up and you already know all THEIR friends, you work or travel a lot and don't have lots of spare time to meet people. I think the main thing is be wary that people can be lying about themselves (also true in RL obviously) and try and meet people as soon as possible as you can create an image of the person from talking online that isn't exactly how they are. I am currently going on 2 months dating a guy I met online. I used the dating service becuase I have health problems which mean I can't work and can't get out too often so it's difficult for me to build up new relationships. I asked my guy why he was trying online dating and he said because he was never meeting women with similar tastes etc by going out to club pubs and all his friends are happily coupled up. He has dated quite a few women from online dating and some were good for a short time, others were out to use. I struck lucky as he is my first online dating guy.
miggsbucks Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 i think the problem with dating generally is that we lie to impress on dates, therein lies the basic problem of dating, we lie, so we know they may be, its a cycle of paranoa... so i reckon... and this is based on my last experience... the lies that are told are probably always about past relationships etc, so forget about that, and just be honest, and ask for honesty - in the respect only of what you want NOW, etc rather than what has gone on before
moimeme Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 we lie to impress on dates That's a pointless waste of time. Eventually the other person figures out you've lied and you both have wasted time pretending to be what you're not for nothing. Start with the truth. It saves a ton of time.
miggsbucks Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 ok moimeme, so u go on a date and u really have the hots for him, and lets imagine u are on the rebound, but u think this new guy will cure you of this rebound situation - bcos u really feel a connection - what are you going to do (fearful of the fact it may spoil things) - if he says "are you in a rebound situation here" just out of the blue. yes he may have no reason or justification to as the question, then what are you going to say exactly??
moimeme Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 Tell him the truth. I don't want to fool anybody into being with me. If I'm not good enough just as I am, then move on, mister, because you ain't the right guy. Doesn't mean I'm not working on self-improvement, but I will not sell you something fake. Like I said, what's the point? When someone finds out you've lied, they're disappointed, and rightly so. So tell the truth and if he flies, then he's not the right guy because he just failed test # 1.
Mr Spock Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 Originally posted by I Luv the Chariot OH I could go on a long rant about this, but I'll just say generally, bad idea. And your friends will probably make fun of you for it. And they'll probably be justified to do so. I agree. If you're even remotely attractive, in person is the best way.
erika2610 Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 I don't think there's anything wrong with meeting somebody online. As long as you use common sense.. be safe about it. For some people, it's hard to meet other people. Some people are too busy to get out.. attractive or not. It's just convenient sometimes.
erika2610 Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 Originally posted by I Luv the Chariot OH I could go on a long rant about this, but I'll just say generally, bad idea. And your friends will probably make fun of you for it. And they'll probably be justified to do so. And why would they? Alot of people go the online dating route I'm sure..
teck21 Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 I met my GF on lavalife. We've been together over a year now. Went on a few dates before that. Everyone I met was normal, pleasant, attractive in some way or other. No weirdos, losers or psychos. And I didn't get the impression that any of them actually lied about what sort of person they were before meeting. As Pendawn says, its useful for people who don't get out much. I work from home, and of course spends lots of time there. Also good for shy people, which I suppose I am to some extent. The impression I get of online dating is that it's moving away from being a joke of sorts to the mainstream.
moimeme Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 The impression I get of online dating is that it's moving away from being a joke of sorts to the mainstream. It is because at least some people understand that technology can facilitate both meeting and eliminating potential partners very efficiently - *much* more efficiently than wandering into bars or singles' events and hoping someone compatible will turn up. There are millions of single and busy people. I believe some statistician said there are more than ever. People now have many more ways to differ than they ever have - the range of potential interests is much more vast than it ever was and one could even suggest that there is a much greater variety of values, views, etc. than ever there was. Therefore finding someone with whom one shares the essential elements of compatibility is much harder than it ever has been. So any sort of facility which helps to pre-screen out a lot of people saves you a heck of a lot of time in a life where - for most people anyway - time is short. The modern-day luddites who scorn internet dating are probably the same sort who are scared of using ATMs
miggsbucks Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 very well said moimeme.. i applaud your comments, the people who scorn it are probably people stuck in relationships they dont want to be in as well, and are just jealous of the more wider scope in which singles can now select their mates by bumping into them in some grotty smoky bar. although, when me and my last online date met up, we were trying to concoct a story to say how we met that wasn't the internet, as we were a little scared of any biggotted stuck-up comments
Vicereine Posted April 6, 2005 Posted April 6, 2005 I am one of the 'shy people'. After a few fallen friendships and moving to a new city I looked to the internet as a way of meeting people to talk to. I have met a few people in person, mostly just to hang out as friends, after a point its only natural you would want to meet them! 2 experiences were more than friendship, first one did not go far, second was a 5 month relationship. Personally I think meeting people online is great, just be perceptive (in my case I haven't come across many liers/psychos) and take it slow, get to know the person, THEN you can try for something more (that is just my opinion, I believe in friends first..) I know a couple who met in a chat room, not even a dating site, she lived in Malaysia he lives in Belgium, eventually she moved there and they got married and still are as far as I know. The internet is a way of meeting people you probably never would have otherwise, I myself am thankful for this technology as I have made great lasting friends (going on 4 years), one of which lives in Australia! I have also met a great guy who is so much like me that I sometimes wonder if we were long lost twins! (thank god he lives a few hours away and not on the other side of the world..lol).
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