Ekalb Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 We have been texting, flirting, sexting and having deep and meaningful conversations for the last 6 months. I went to school with her, have know her quite a while and share the same mutual friends. We live in different cities and her ex from over 6 years ago has recently moved back to the city where she lives. He is also part of the friendship group and they have all been hanging out together the past couple of weeks. This is what caused me to ask her about him. After avoiding the question multiple times she admitted that she likes him and that old feelings have been stirred up. I still want to maintain the friendship but have not spoken to her for 8 days. We have both admitted that we like each other a lot. She told me that she would never act on these feelings towards her ex because she did not want to hurt me and that she likes me so much it's killing her. I told her I trust her but I don't trust her emotions, I don't want to stop her living her life and that we should just be friends. She was upset and said she can't handle us drifting apart and things becoming weird. I said we should cool it because my feelings are only going to get stronger. She was upset but the conversation pretty much ended there. It has been almost 9 days since either of us have spoken. Last night I tagged her in something on Facebook that I knew she would like and she commented "You remember who I am?". The past 8 days have been very difficult for me. I'm not over her and find myself constantly stressing about the situation. I don't want to loose her as a friend and it feels like this no contact thing might be causing that to happen but I'm not sure if it's a good idea to message her. If we start conversing again I think will get a little overwhelmed with emotion and maybe say some regrettable things but at the same time all I want to do is talk to her again. What should I do to preserve the friendship/potential future relationship but protect my self from getting hurt?
kenmore Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 I guess my question is why are you doing this? Why are you trying to break up when you obviously care about her? You have already done damage. Maybe I missed something, but if you care and she does too, why are you NC? Screw the other guy! If you want her, get her! Screw texting, ask her out to dinner. Talk. Tell her you messed up. It happens, you were jealous? Whatever, but it's time for big-time damage control! If this is all about some BS made-up feeling you have that she's still in love with her ex and you can't stand the competition, then you need to get a firm grip and realize how love works! From what I read, she loves you very much and you are hurting her badly. If there's any chance to fix it anymore, get on it! If she loves YOU, then there is no room in her heart for HIM! Next time you see him, walk right up to him, shake his hand, be friendly and show no animosity. Prove you KNOW your (and I say YOUR) girlfriend loves you and nobody else. You have nothing to fear. I just hope it's not too late. You have hurt her and you had better hope she loves you enough to forgive this crap. Ken
d0nnivain Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 If you want to preserve a friendship, you have to talk. Silence rubs salt in the wound. It doesn't foster healing or understanding. Plus if you are not there, her only choice is him. You can't protect yourself from getting hurt. Love is risk. If you want to date her make a plan to be in her city & take her out. If you can't commit to one date in the immediate future, let her go to him if that's what she wants
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