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What are your turn offs in a partner?


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Posted

I'm not talking physically but emotionally/mentally/spiritually.

 

I'll get the ball rolling. Generally speaking these things turn me off of a person:

 

* An addictive nature including being a workaholic

* Poor hygiene/self-care

* A party girl/party boy (just not my scene)

* Big drinker/smoker/drug taker

* A misogynist/misandrist - someone who is bitter or hateful towards their opposite sex

* Violence/abuse

* Emotional detachment

* Someone who doesn't like to spend much time together

* Laziness (I like easy going aka sleep in, chill, go to the beach but not laziness)

* Animal hater

* Big flirt

* Lover of strip clubs, lap dances, online dating sites, prostitutes or excessive porn use (porn is fine otherwise)

* Low sex drive/lack of interest in sex

* Sleazy/crude attitude towards women; I don't want to see you flick through Tinder whilst telling me who is hot and who is not or hear you rating women out loud etc or talking about women in my company as hoes, whores, bitches or just tits and ass (as my exes friend always did)

* Disrespectful

* Selfish

* Rude

* Dishonest/disloyal

* Sneaky/cagey or lacking openness

* Fanatical in any area

 

What are yours?

Posted

i think any sort of unforgiving behavior or attributes....

 

mocking god...I cant handle it or specifically dont want to have to handle it

 

 

judgemental of others

 

 

heartless

 

 

cruel to animals or kids...

 

has to love kids

 

 

 

has to believe in the family unit

 

 

has to be a team player

 

 

too sarcastic....confuses me

 

i dont liek thoughtlessness i prefer a thoughtful guy

 

a guy who uses hookers is not for me

 

faithless

 

disloyal\

 

 

not reliable

 

 

not able to commit

 

a guy who steps back when grunt work is needed

 

someone who doesnt really love me the way i am and wants or expects me to change into something i am not.....i change what i want to change i dotn need to be told.....

 

a guy who cant be my friend.....who ridicules me....doesnt support my wishes dreams and hopes liek i woudl always support theirs.....

 

 

a guy who is a lad and not a man....

 

godo hygeine

 

polite and courteous is a must.....old school...i dont do new.....

 

a guy who refuses to stand behind his words.....or refuses to stand by me......right or wrong ill stand next to a guy i love...i expect the same.....we go down together or we stay afloat together there is no other way.....deb

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Posted

I'll leave the basic stuff like cheating, abuse, selfishness, lack of respect etc off of my list - I feel that it should go without saying that all of that is a turn off. So I'll focus on the stuff that is more of a personal preference, rather than explicitly bad traits.

 

Some of my less black-and-white turn offs:

 

- Never questioning the status quo. It's extremely important to me that someone can think for themselves and evaluate what they do and don't want for themselves, rather than blindly following what they are told to do (or, similarly, doing the opposite just for the sake of it).

 

- Lack of ambition in their career. There is nothing wrong with unambitious men, and I have a few good friends who are not very ambitious, but I intrinsically feel zero sexual attraction towards such men.

 

- Strong focus on physical appearance. This goes both for themselves and for their preferences for women.

 

- Lack of interest in kinky sex. :laugh:

  • Like 1
Posted

I noticed that i really messed up my turn off list....because i dont like writing a whole lot of negatives...i would rather hunt for the guy who fits my turn ons...than look or concentrate what turns me off guys in general

like hygiene for example...if a guy had bad hygiene or didnt take showers as often as i liked.but yet he was and did tick many boxes.......i would make him love taking showers.......i would entice the shower ideal............

 

as far as reliability goes if a guy isnt reliable i cant date him.....i need someone who i can rely on equal too how they can rely on me.....i dont expect more than that.....i dont know if it is considered needy that i like reliable people..that i should just worry abotu myself learn to rely on myself and thats it...i dont think its fair that way....and i already do that....

 

 

anyway ...if someone reads my mixed up list... it is because i naturally revert to what turns me on......i find that far more exciting to think about .....writing what turns me off...makes me want to be a nun in peru with many llamas.....deb

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Posted

Racists, homophobes.

Lack of social insight and analytical nature.

Anyone who is too into image or "stuff"

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Posted

Double standards

Hypocrisy

... all the normal ones (dishonest, disrespectful, etc)

 

 

Repeated incidents of poor judgment

Impulsiveness

Addictions of any kind

Lack of curiosity

Irresponsible

Taker/freeloader mentality

  • Like 1
Posted
makes me want to be a nun in peru with many llamas.....deb

 

 

That would be pretty awesome. I think I'd opt for sheep though. They are more cuddly and friendly... plus I'd learn how to spin wool. :)

  • Like 2
Posted

Think you covered most things OP,

 

Like Elswyth says, the subtle things....

 

For me,

 

slowly morphing in to a complete lunatic after a year.

 

Someone who asks me every 5 minutes, where am i?

 

Jealousy taken to the extreme.

 

Oh and an inabilty to use `chopsticks`

  • Like 1
Posted
Think you covered most things OP,

 

Like Elswyth says, the subtle things....

 

For me,

 

slowly morphing in to a complete lunatic after a year.

 

Someone who asks me every 5 minutes, where am i?

 

Jealousy taken to the extreme.

 

Oh and an inabilty to use `chopsticks`

 

i used to wear chopsticks in my hair....could never use them to pick up food unless i stab the food.....i still stab food with chop sticks.....and make shish kebabs...:0)

  • Like 2
Posted
That would be pretty awesome. I think I'd opt for sheep though. They are more cuddly and friendly... plus I'd learn how to spin wool. :)

 

not a fan fo male sheep......they are perpetual walking horn balls....got molested in a corner by a male sheep once...he wanted me bad..had to be pulled and dragged over the top of a wooden fence by my agriculture teacher......got many splinters.....fell in love with the teacher..lol...ahem...so much for my nunship..... i will honestly say that llama even though they can spit arent as big a hornball as rams..deb

Posted (edited)

Anti-feminists

Pompousness

Arrogance

Avoiding of problems

Fake personalities

Close minded ness

Smoking

Impolite

Laziness

 

I wouldn't say low sex drive or sex issues are a turnoff, but a refusal to acknowledge or address it is.

Edited by smiley1
Posted

Serial Cheaters

Misandrists

People who think they can't have excitement and passion without drama

People who have no regard for how they treat others

Posted

Turn-offs include:

Lack of integrity.

Lack of compassion and kindness.

Lack of intellectual curiosity.

Lack of significant libido.

Lack of balance in life.

Lack of self-sufficiency.

Posted

If a person cant be punctual I cant be their partner or their friend it gets old fast (sometimes is okay)

 

Someone who is more lazy than I am sure ill do afternoon naps etc but someone who sleeps a full night then continues up till 3 pm drives me nuts.

 

Guys who complain about women every day shut up already

 

People that suck off others to survive

 

People that are always depressed

Posted

Apart from the basic ones, like cheating, abuse, etc I have to say:

 

Jealousy - I'm not jealous and can't understand jealousy. So wouldn't be able to deal.

 

hyperactive/workaholic - I'm laid back and enjoy my lazy days, curled up in the sofa, watching movies/TV. Someone who is unable to do that would turn me off and we'd be ultimately incompatible.

 

Double standards - This one I feel very strongly about. A guy who thinks it's ok for guys to do something, but if women do the same thing they're less quality make me actually sick to my stomach

Posted
not a fan fo male sheep......they are perpetual walking horn balls....got molested in a corner by a male sheep once...he wanted me bad..had to be pulled and dragged over the top of a wooden fence by my agriculture teacher......got many splinters.....fell in love with the teacher..lol...ahem...so much for my nunship..... i will honestly say that llama even though they can spit arent as big a hornball as rams..deb

 

lol I was thinking of a similar incident! Really hurts when they head butt you!

 

Laziness

Selfishness

Drunken behaviour on a regular basis

Chain smoking

Lack of Hygine

Lack of respect

Lacking care for others

Inability to be a grown up

 

How long a list are we allowed? Shouldn't we do a positive one about what is a turn on in a partner?

  • Like 1
Posted

The biggest turn off for me would be a lack of empathy ...... that goes for either gender.

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