marimari Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 So, the weekend comes, and I am happy to hang out with my male friends, cause all my girlfriends have boyfriends and they are not interested in going out without them or they just don't want to get out because ''the hunt is over''. I am single for a year, and sometimes I think tonight is the night, I will meet somebody special. Sometimes I tell to myself that I don't want to think about boyfriends and that I will just go out and have a great time. I go out, I am enjoying getting ready for the club, I feel good with my friends. I don't drink much, but when I go out, I drink, two or three bears or vine, and I noticed that when I come home, I am extremely unhappy. Sometimes, the next day I feel like crying. Is it because of the alcohol, or because I am lonely?
PearTree Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 So, the weekend comes, and I am happy to hang out with my male friends, cause all my girlfriends have boyfriends and they are not interested in going out without them or they just don't want to get out because ''the hunt is over''. I am single for a year, and sometimes I think tonight is the night, I will meet somebody special. Sometimes I tell to myself that I don't want to think about boyfriends and that I will just go out and have a great time. I go out, I am enjoying getting ready for the club, I feel good with my friends. I don't drink much, but when I go out, I drink, two or three bears or vine, and I noticed that when I come home, I am extremely unhappy. Sometimes, the next day I feel like crying. Is it because of the alcohol, or because I am lonely? Do you think a club is the best place to find a new partner? Think about all the qualities you want in a partner. Think about where that kind of person hangs out. Then go to those sorts of places and try to meet them! For example, if you want someone adventurous then join a rock climbing group. Or if you want someone calm and spiritual, join a yoga club. Even if you don't find a partner through these activities you will meet people with friends/brothers/housemates etc. who might be a good match for you! If you cast your net wider and stop putting so much pressure on finding someone on a night out, you might enjoy it more. 1
Author marimari Posted February 16, 2015 Author Posted February 16, 2015 I understand what you are saying and thank you for your reply, I don't think that a club is the best way to meet somebody and I don't know why am I sometimes thinking that I will meet somebody there and then get sad. I joined several groups, and I met some guys but we didn't clicked. I joined yoga, and worked out, but there are only girls. Maybe I am pressuring myself to find somebody.
seminoles84 Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 Alcohol is a depressant so it very likely is that. 1
Author marimari Posted February 16, 2015 Author Posted February 16, 2015 Alcohol is a depressant so it very likely is that. Okay, it is so hard to have a social life without alcohol nowadays, and it really bothers me. All my friends drink, and when I ask them if they feel depressed the day after, they all say they feel ok. And I never mix drinks like them.
DatingDirection Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 So, the weekend comes, and I am happy to hang out with my male friends, cause all my girlfriends have boyfriends and they are not interested in going out without them or they just don't want to get out because ''the hunt is over''. I am single for a year, and sometimes I think tonight is the night, I will meet somebody special. Sometimes I tell to myself that I don't want to think about boyfriends and that I will just go out and have a great time. I go out, I am enjoying getting ready for the club, I feel good with my friends. I don't drink much, but when I go out, I drink, two or three bears or vine, and I noticed that when I come home, I am extremely unhappy. Sometimes, the next day I feel like crying. Is it because of the alcohol, or because I am lonely? This happens to me too! Sometimes, I feel like it's the alchol, but mainly, I feel this way, because I just hung out at a club, where it's full of superficial people, no good connections/conversation, and it leaves me feeling more lonely and isolated. The club environment is also a meat market, based on superficial looks, there is no depth to it. So I tend to pick up on that energy.
Kinetica84 Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 So, the weekend comes, and I am happy to hang out with my male friends, cause all my girlfriends have boyfriends and they are not interested in going out without them or they just don't want to get out because ''the hunt is over''. I am single for a year, and sometimes I think tonight is the night, I will meet somebody special. Sometimes I tell to myself that I don't want to think about boyfriends and that I will just go out and have a great time. I go out, I am enjoying getting ready for the club, I feel good with my friends. I don't drink much, but when I go out, I drink, two or three bears or vine, and I noticed that when I come home, I am extremely unhappy. Sometimes, the next day I feel like crying. Is it because of the alcohol, or because I am lonely? Yes this does happen. Have considered the effects alcohol has? Although you're not drinking much even tiny amounts can bring about incredible lows. Also may be you're looking too hard? Stop looking, focus on being single and just let things happen.
Kinetica84 Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 Okay, it is so hard to have a social life without alcohol nowadays, and it really bothers me. All my friends drink, and when I ask them if they feel depressed the day after, they all say they feel ok. And I never mix drinks like them. Im sorry but that is complete bullsh*t. You can have a social life without alcohol. So because your friends drink you have to? I guess if your friends start shooting heroin you will have to that to maintain your social life? You can still go out with your friends and drink soda all night and have fun. Id much rather go for a meal and watch a film then clubbing it. My social life is very active, full of a range of diverse people and activities. May be go bowling, start a new hobby on your own a meet new friends at said hobby/activity?
Author marimari Posted February 16, 2015 Author Posted February 16, 2015 Yeah, like DatingDirection said, there is no real conection, communication, and I feel like I am the only who doesn't like that. I am trying too hard cause everybody tells me that I didn't get over my ex, cause I didn't found somebody new. Sometimes, I am really enjoying my time, but sometimes that thought that I should find somebody just runs through my mind. And everywhere I hang out with my friends, they all drink alcohol, and I am afraid that my social life will be in much worse state.
Author marimari Posted February 16, 2015 Author Posted February 16, 2015 Im sorry but that is complete bullsh*t. You can have a social life without alcohol. So because your friends drink you have to? I guess if your friends start shooting heroin you will have to that to maintain your social life? You can still go out with your friends and drink soda all night and have fun. Id much rather go for a meal and watch a film then clubbing it. My social life is very active, full of a range of diverse people and activities. May be go bowling, start a new hobby on your own a meet new friends at said hobby/activity? I don't have to drink if my friends do, and I didn't drink as many times, but some of my friends, when I told them that I don't like drinking, they started to avoid me. I tried to drink juices, but I get bored, cause they all get wasted and I really don't have fun and don't have someone to talk to normally. I would rather go for a meal, and I go to the movies, but most of the people I hang out, they don't want to do that. Probably the solution is a new hobby.
DatingDirection Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 Im sorry but that is complete bullsh*t. You can have a social life without alcohol. So because your friends drink you have to? I guess if your friends start shooting heroin you will have to that to maintain your social life? You can still go out with your friends and drink soda all night and have fun. Id much rather go for a meal and watch a film then clubbing it. My social life is very active, full of a range of diverse people and activities. May be go bowling, start a new hobby on your own a meet new friends at said hobby/activity? How do you do this? I need to get more involved and make new friends, good friends.
Ifonlyihadknown Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 Helpx, that,s how. I did it once. it,s a great way of meeting new friends!
quattrob Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 Marimari like others have said clubs arent the best place to look for someone special. I understand your loneliness and it is normal to long to be with someone. However it does not seem you are ready for one, at least not a serious one. You need to be ok being by yourself and just enjoy life. Dont think about finding someone, when you keep seeking and wanting it, you usually dont get it at least not the one that is right for you. If you dont seek for it, you'd be surprised someone amazing will enter your life.
Author marimari Posted February 23, 2015 Author Posted February 23, 2015 Helpx, that,s how. I did it once. it,s a great way of meeting new friends! Why do you think that I am not ready for a serious one? One year after break up, I knew that I am not ready for anything, and I didn't think about that. And when there were some guys, I didn't want to be with anybody, because I didn't want a rebound, and I wanted to make my own happiness alone, then find somebody else. But when a new year came, and I again started going out, I began to feel that way. And after that I thought that maybe it is the time to find somebody else, but I am constantly fighting with my mind, I tell to myself what you told me, when I stop searching, somebody will appear.
Author marimari Posted February 23, 2015 Author Posted February 23, 2015 How do you do this? I need to get more involved and make new friends, good friends. I think that you should try joining some club, like a book club, amateur sport or something like that. You should think about what you like, and what are you interested in.
Recommended Posts