gridiron Posted April 10, 2005 Posted April 10, 2005 I concur with lost in chgo. I know it will not be easy, but find someone who you can have great sex with and can reciprocate your feelings on other levels too, as she can not. And you are way past the point where you can still have a fwb relationship. Once again, time for both of you to move on.
ReluctantRomeo Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 I agree with lost in chgo and gridiron. And don't give back the boots! Make her come and get them one time.
Author miggsbucks Posted April 12, 2005 Author Posted April 12, 2005 Hi Lost, thanks for chipping in, and thanks Grid and Romeo for the support. The internet hook up was just a normal dating site for people looking for partners, and the webcam was via MSN, so it wasn’t the 90% scenario you was talking about. Well I have left her be, and tonite – all night – she has been visible in MSN, and her status has been “away” all night long. (Means she isnt chatting to anyone else) Maybe she has done that hoping I would IM her, but I have kept myself invisible to her. This is exactly the same scenario as last nite. She also hasn’t been on the dating site for a fair while. I don’t want to enter into dialogue in case I say something stupid and tell her how I think of her quite a lot. I agree with Lost in that I shouldn’t tell her this. When we last chatted she said “I don’t want to mess you around..” and it seemed like she was about drop the dreaded bombshell, but she waivered and then said “..but I do still want to see you again.” Its like when the Appollo 13 went round the dark side of the moon, and all contact was lost, and people on the ground were crossing their fingers hoping to get a signal and its re-emergence.
tanbark813 Posted April 12, 2005 Posted April 12, 2005 Originally posted by miggsbucks we were supposed to be meeting tomorrow but now she has plans with her grandmother to go shopping Dude, if she'd rather go shopping with grandma than bang you then you're dead in the water. Time to move on to someone else.
Author miggsbucks Posted April 12, 2005 Author Posted April 12, 2005 i don't think i'm dead in the water cos she did say she does wanna meet up again, i'm just struggling to not contact her, or will wonder what to say when i do.
EC Posted April 12, 2005 Posted April 12, 2005 Post: 49 | Quote: well this time last week we were getting it on, this has been the longest week of my life, a friend of mine came up with this expression "she rocks my boat" well she violently shook it.. now i'm trying to come to terms with the conversation i had with her tonight. she said she really likes me and definitely wants to see me again. she said she felt bad because she hadn't been in touch, but it was because she didn't know what to say. she said it was a "back-to-reality" scenario in the week, and that last w/e was a one-off in terms of her going for it and wanting to get a peice of enjoyment for herself for once in ages and ages. she's banging on about not wanting to get into a relationship, but all i want is to see her again, i just don't know what to do, i'm madly in love with her, haven't told her this, maybe i should. we were supposed to be meeting tomorrow but now she has plans with her grandmother to go shopping. she has hinted about this fear of getting into a relationship, and wants us to stay friends, so i guess thats something i should take some comfort from. she said i can call her anytime, but she has not once initiated contact since last w/e. oh my god i've got it bad over her, i want to be with her so much, but i can't. guessi should be patient and let her come round.. Why the run around...why don't you just call her and ask her what exactly is going through your head..Tell her you really dig her you thought you had a connection..that you would like to pursue something with her..and if shes not feeling that then to please tell you so that you do not continue to waste your time?. I think maybe she feels that you had sex too soon and that maybe all your looking for now is sex with her..and she doesnt know how to deal with the situation now.
gridiron Posted April 13, 2005 Posted April 13, 2005 Originally posted by miggsbucks When we last chatted she said “I don’t want to mess you around..” and it seemed like she was about drop the dreaded bombshell, but she waivered and then said “..but I do still want to see you again.” It sounds like she is possibly open to more sex down the road, but nada on a LTR. Based on your posts, you want a lot more and being a FWB would just make you even that much more into her. If you can cut the strings and want to pursue just sex, fine. But there is almost ZERO indication she wants more. And there is also ZERO indication that you can be FWB without getting hurt. Hence the recommendation that most of us are making to move on. You have her boots, she has your number, contact info. If she wants anything more, she can call you, but I wouldn't hold my breath.
Author miggsbucks Posted April 13, 2005 Author Posted April 13, 2005 she also said in the conversation, "is it ok if we just stay friends for now?" and i said "yes thats cool", so its a question of trying to stay appearing that way to her, this is exactly what happened with the last one, and i was ok with FWB with that one even though i wanted more, although that one ended up conning me out of £3,000 to pay her rent arrears and disappeared. the last one's friend told me "i wear my heart on my sleeve too much and she only gets in touch when you back off" i'm off to someone's birthday party this friday, and the girl who's party it is, is trying to match-make me up with her friend. so i'll see how that goes. i didn't mention that i've been in a FWB situation with someone else also since february, but i dont want anything more than that off her, so i'm trying to act like the way she is with me, cos she's dead cool about it and doesnt pressure me about anything further. she wont tell me how old she is, reckon she's at least 10 years older than me. also at the party i went to with the girl this thread is all about, there was another girl there who wants a date sometime with me, and she's only a five minute walk away (and only has the one child), whereas the girl i want is 50 miles away, and has 3 kids. but its still her i want the most, bloody hell why is life a pain in the ass!!
sinkerswim Posted April 13, 2005 Posted April 13, 2005 Hi Miggs... Just thought I would let you know I do feel for you.. I know you want something more out of this.. and I hope you get it. I met this guy online through Match.com back in January.. he was handsome, smart, great job, sweet ...he was divorced for 8 years and had a daughter. But anyway... we hit it off right away.. in 2 days I slept with him. I couldnt believe I did this.. as it was something i have never done before.. I was in an 8 year relationship and engaged to be married, and my ex left me last year.. so all this dating stuff was new to me again. Anyway this new guy.. he held my hand, we talked , and snuggled and enjoyed each others company.. He brought me roses and chocolates on Valentines Day.. but again, we slept with each other. Of course I was starting to wonder if thats all he wanted. I was hurt..but kept doing it. I heard from him the day after Valentines Day.. but after that, complete silence.. I tried to contact him by phone, email and chat for about 2 weeks. No luck. So as heartbroken as I was.. I gave up. I didnt want to seem desperate... I thought he was more than that to me. He promised me he wasnt a player. Well, a month and a half goes by.. and I hear from him again on messenger last week. He told me he misses me and that he thought I gave up on him, because he "didnt hear from me". I told him I emailed him and called him and he said he emailed me. I dont know how much I believe that.. But what did I do?? I fell for him AGAIN.... He came up to my house at midnight just to have sex with me.. and like a fool, I did it....because I missed him too... and I never thought I would see him again. I wanted soo much more out of him than that though..and I dont think I will get it.. I wrote to him today saying I wanted to know him better... and that he should get to know me better as a person. All along his profile is still on Match. I think I should just give it up already. I think he only wants me for sex and that hurts me... because he is a sweet guy and I think we would be great together. I wish you the best of luck Miggs.. let us know what happens!
Author miggsbucks Posted April 13, 2005 Author Posted April 13, 2005 thanks for that sinker.. for ages and ages - i struggled with "trying to work women out" but have realised now its got f'all to do with gender, its all about relationships and how each other interacts with the other... although - one thing on the gender issue - does a gal ever want a certain bloke just for sex?
westernxer Posted April 13, 2005 Posted April 13, 2005 Originally posted by miggsbucks for ages and ages - i struggled with "trying to work women out" but have realised now its got f'all to do with gender, its all about relationships and how each other interacts with the other... The sooner the better. Some people never figure this out. although - one thing on the gender issue - does a gal ever want a certain bloke just for sex? Yes.
HoldOn Posted April 13, 2005 Posted April 13, 2005 i struggled with "trying to work women out" Well, a problem for both men and women is that they fall totally and completely head over heels for another person, when that person has given little or no indication of their feelings for them. Let's take it a little slower next time. (that goes for both of you, sinkerswim and miggs) Although, there's a chance in a million that a one-night stand turns into a relationship, let's be realistic. This is why it is important to build a relationship before you have sex. Not because you can force a relationship that would never happen anyway, it's because then you can stop yourself from becoming completely obsessed with a person before they've proven their feelings for you.
ReluctantRomeo Posted April 13, 2005 Posted April 13, 2005 Whew, do we have some kind of telepathic link going, westernxer? I was going to say something scarily similar. On both subjects. Originally posted by HoldOn Although, there's a chance in a million that a one-night stand turns into a relationship, let's be realistic. This is why it is important to build a relationship before you have sex. Not because you can force a relationship that would never happen anyway, it's because then you can stop yourself from becoming completely obsessed with a person before they've proven their feelings for you. Good advice as ever, HoldOn.
westernxer Posted April 13, 2005 Posted April 13, 2005 Originally posted by ReluctantRomeo Whew, do we have some kind of telepathic link going, westernxer? I was going to say something scarily similar. On both subjects. It's funny how certain people think just like you do... I've noticed this with others, too. I also like what HoldOn said about building a relationship prior to sex. I've been in the same boat as MiggsBucks (also with a divorcee who wasn't over her issues), and I was so pissed at myself for being a dumba.s.s... at least I didn't walk away empty handed, but it would've been a nightmare had it continued. At least my eyes are open now.
ReluctantRomeo Posted April 13, 2005 Posted April 13, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer It's funny how certain people think just like you do... I've noticed this with others, too. I've been in the same boat as MiggsBucks (also with a divorcee who wasn't over her issues), and I was so pissed at myself for being a dumba.s.s... at least I didn't walk away empty handed, but it would've been a nightmare had it continued. At least my eyes are open now. I guess that - almost by definition - most of us here have done something pretty silly in the love department. Cool that you're aware now.
Recommended Posts