Rainoflight Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 Are they actually a good idea? Sure, people need confort after a break up, but is that a good idea to get involve and risk, maybe, hurt someone who may actually like you, just because you are not ready yet for something new?
d0nnivain Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 There is a saying: the fastest way to get over somebody is to get under somebody else. Problem is your comfort comes at the expense of somebody else. By definition a rebound is somebody who's just there to fill the hole left by your EX's departure. You don't care about the new person. You simply want not to be alone. Anybody who knowingly starts dating somebody fresh out of a break up should understand what they are getting into though. 2
jus d'orange Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 but is that a good idea to get involve and risk, maybe, hurt someone who may actually like you, just because you are not ready yet for something new? I think you answer your own question here. I see rebounding as basically just using people. Even if one is open and honest about it from the beginning, the whole thing just sets everybody up for emotional confusion and possibly extending and spreading the misery. Then again, I know people who have had regular hookups (and absolutely nothing more) after a very long relationship ended because that helped them. As long as both parties are only there for that, I couldn't really fault them, but I think it becomes a tricky line to walk for a lot of people. 1
Nolan 93 Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 Are they actually a good idea? Sure, people need confort after a break up, but is that a good idea to get involve and risk, maybe, hurt someone who may actually like you, just because you are not ready yet for something new? No rebound relationships are horrible. Take it from me I was in one and you know what she left me for the ex down the road. Someone always gets hurt in the end, and this time it was me. What am I doing now? I am healing by myself and moving on, I will never use another person to mend my heart then break theirs. It's not right and if you feel you need to rebound, just do a FWB type deal. If you the rebound last longer than a few months and you want to get back with ex or vice versa. Just think if you got back with the ex will they not always be thinking that you rebounded really fast and dated for awhile. Idk but to me it's not a good idea especially if you start getting feelings for them and decide you want the ex back.
STM206 Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 I rebounded after my ex and no matter how I said it or how many times I said I wasn't looking for something serious, the rebound ended up catching feelings. In actuality I felt worse than I already did. I had to break it off with him as I knew it would only turn out to be a disaster. When you're fresh out of a breakup, your head is no where near being in the right place. You confuse "comfort" with "being loved". It sucks but getting through it on your own (with the help of family and friends) is what I believe to be the best solution.
Holmes85 Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 Let's assume your house is caught on fire. You run out of your house and start building another one right next to it. While your building the new house, the fire from the previous one catches up to it and burns down everything. You wasted all your time, energy and hardwork on building something that was a mistake to begin with, the first mistake was building a house right next to the one on fire. You can apply the same example to relationships, when couples breakup, doesn't matter who initiated the breakup, both of the partners need some time off in order to clear their head and get some prespective to reflect on the situation. The people who don't do that and go from one adventure to the next, mostly get burned out later in life and at some point they start to question their decisions. In short Rebounds are never a good idea. 6
NopeNah Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 I rebounded after my ex and no matter how I said it or how many times I said I wasn't looking for something serious, the rebound ended up catching feelings. In actuality I felt worse than I already did. I had to break it off with him as I knew it would only turn out to be a disaster. . Same with me. They always "understood" I wasn't looking for anything,but ALWAYS started trying to get serious. One night stand/bar pickup and an old FWB is now my go to.
Kinetica84 Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 I had my first rebound ever recently at the age of 30. 3 year relationship, went tits up, she cheated me broken in 2. Dated a girl for 3 months, had amazing sex, great company but i still felt crap about my break up. So i would say not, it's not a good idea. It is a band aid solution and you're not really dealing with your hurt or healing.
marimari Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 I think that it is a bad idea. You can hurt someone who doesn't deserve to be hurt, or you can be hurt either. Example, you meet a guy who is not ready for a commitment, you hook up with him, and you see him as your rebound. In that state you are confused, and not dealing with your pain, and you may will feel much worse after that.
Price2Play Posted February 20, 2015 Posted February 20, 2015 Not going to lie I have done it before in the past & have been the victim of it. It's a terrible idea! Look at all the replies here. Let's cut the BS, emotionally unstable typically do this. It's also unfair to the new "flame". But again their are always exceptions to the rule, very rare IMO tho. For myself I always take the proper time to heal & better myself. From a psycological stand point it's emotional intelligence plain & simple. 2
Poppyolive Posted February 20, 2015 Posted February 20, 2015 When we split after 6 years together & living together (serious relationship). Within the month he was dating someone else. Within the year, he got engaged. (Zero contact, except knowing he moved on, and recently got engaged) So maybe rebounds do work out??? I know for me, I couldn't date, just occasional tinder dates, only after year and a few months I feel 100% ready for some lovin'.
Author Rainoflight Posted February 20, 2015 Author Posted February 20, 2015 When we split after 6 years together & living together (serious relationship). Within the month he was dating someone else. Within the year, he got engaged. (Zero contact, except knowing he moved on, and recently got engaged) So maybe rebounds do work out??? I know for me, I couldn't date, just occasional tinder dates, only after year and a few months I feel 100% ready for some lovin'. Did that woman was a rebound for him? Or actually they had something going on while he was with you?
Poppyolive Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 Did that woman was a rebound for him? Or actually they had something going on while he was with you? Rebound from me, nothing going on while with me.
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