Estrea Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 I'm on my first break at the moment - I moved out temporarily to stay with parents because of the following: He has a new social life that I did not adapt to wellDue to him getting too complacent, I've been unhappy - in turn making him unhappyHe has tried to find happiness in his new social life - but has begun to chat more on his phone - often putting it away when I look over I am literally turning into the pyscho gf due to all the above I moved yesterday because I broke his trust bu looking at his internet history - something I have never done in the history of our 3 year relationship. Turns out he was booking a getaway for us. Due to the secrecy and unhappines I don't feel myself so I've left for a few days. This is my first ever break, what should I do? I can't control him - but I feel this is fixable. We just lost some respect down the road - the love is still there, I just want my old boyfriend back. What do you think? It's not over till its over right?
d0nnivain Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 Normally I think breaks are pointless & are trial runs for break ups. In your case, I think that you are reacting to your own behavior. You know you were being neurotic & distrust was turning you into a psycho. Since identifying a problem is the 1st step in solving it, you may be on the right track. That said, you two have a LOT to talk about it. If you are going to fix this you have to communicate. The longer you go silent, the less likely you can get past this. Call him & talk. Apologize for looking in his history and ask what he wants / needs going forward.
PegNosePete Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 Issues in relationships are not fixed by breaks. In fact quite the opposite. They are fixed by open and honest communication. New social life and new phone privacy policies spring up red flags. Chances are high that he's seeing someone else.
jus d'orange Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 Did you two agree not to talk? You seem to be pretty aware of what's gone wrong, but you need to have some good communication. I would tell him that you're happy to keep in touch, but that you need time to think calmly before you talk again. If you were checking his internet history, the tension had obviously gotten very high, so I recommend you tell him that you both take a week to think productively about what has gone wrong and what needs to change in the relationship. Then, meet up in a week and have a conversation about that. Write your thoughts down and give yourself time for honest analysis and reflection before meeting with him. If you both still love each other and want this to work, I think this is the best way. Good luck!
mightycpa Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 Moving out is a pretty big signal that either a) you're unable to work things out within the confines of a close relationship (ie, you abandon the other when the going gets tough) or b) you want out
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