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Sex jokes....how far is TOO FAR?? Boyfriend issue

MapleWish

By MapleWish
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MapleWish Established Member

MapleWish

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While talking with my guy we were listing the basics of what we want in future mates and such and when I noted I still felt like I'd be good for him he said there's some things I do that make him question if I am right for him as in marriage wise. And when I asked what those things are he noted that it's the sex jokes I make. I don't make simple "that's what she said" jokes, I can make some crass jokes. But I think that's unfair. Sex jokes don't determine what kind of wife I'll be, likewise him and his buddies are free to make jokes so why can't i? I said that to him and he commented "well my friends drink but if they hand me a beer doesn't mean I gotta drink it." Meaning just cause the guys make jokes doesn't mean I have to chime in.

Sometimes I look at it like it's unfair to judge me just based off something verbal but then I think maybe that's one of his standards and we all have those. Is this unfair? We have standards but sex jokes aren't a deal breaker. It's something I should probably work on but to basically say "you're not ready to meet my needs in a wife" cause of sex jokes is harsh

Edited by MapleWish
kaylan Established Member

kaylan

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This dude sounds like a boring prude. Girls cant make sex jokes or silly "thats what she said" jokes? Jeez...I love a gal with silly humor like that. If I cannot kid around with the person Im dating, I wont be dating them very long. Dont you want to be yourself OP? Without having to curb your personality?

 

If he's questioning you because of something stupid like this, he never really considered you for marriage in the first place.

 

Bail and find someone who has a similar personality to you. Your partner should be your best friend...and with my best friends we tell all kinds of jokes. I couldnt imagine being able to be less true to who I am around my girlfriend, vs how I am with my friends.

Edited by kaylan
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elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

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I'm with Kaylan, if humour is part of who you are, then if you have to curb and censor whatever you find funny to suit him then that doesn't make for a natural friendship.

Of course everyone needs to censor stuff, and choose their audience at times. For instance sex jokes are not going to go down well in church, are they?.

 

I think put on the spot, he used the sex jokes as a reason for not considering you wife material, but I guess he has deeper reasons too.

I think he is really telling you here that you are not marriage material for him and that is something you need to think about seriously and not wait years and years for that serious commitment that never really gets there.

 

How long have you been seeing each other?

Do you live together?

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Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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Depends.

 

I can handle sex jokes no problems, I can even crack a few myself BUT if the man I am dating makes sex jokes in inappropriate circumstances like in front of my parents, or in front of young nieces and nephew, if he cannot judge when it's proper and not proper to come up with a sex joke then no, him and I are not gonna make it far.

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OMC Established Member

OMC

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Or maybe... he doesn't feel comfortable with the woman he has sex with making jokes about sex. Or at least crass ones. Double standard? Who knows and who cares. He said it bothers him. Take note or not.

 

 

Maybe he feels you need to mature and rise above the fray to be considered marriage material by him. Not just the crass jokes but other areas as well. Most likely he used the jokes in an attempt to open up a more deeper conversation.

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MapleWish Established Member

MapleWish

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I NEVER. Make jokes in front of parents. I always know when to make jokes and it's always around regular friends

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MapleWish Established Member

MapleWish

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And we haven't had sex I don't know where the perspn got that

Edited by MapleWish
Art_Critic Established Member

Art_Critic

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I had a GF once that could burp the alphabet.. it was gross and turned me off, she thought it was funny as hell.

All I could think is how that would go over at a Thanksgiving family get together.

 

However.. to me humor is everything..

It seems like he doesn't think you are funny.. it might be time to bail..

 

One of my must haves is the girl MUST laugh at my jokes.. if she doesn't think I'm funny then there isn't a match.. IMO

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Diezel Established Member

Diezel

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And we haven't had sex I don't know where the perspn got that

 

He's your boyfriend and you two haven't had sex but you make sex jokes?

 

I'm not judging, I just find that odd.

Either way, if your humor isn't acceptable to him, then you need to find a new "boyfriend".

  • Like 3
kaylan Established Member

kaylan

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Depends.

 

I can handle sex jokes no problems, I can even crack a few myself BUT if the man I am dating makes sex jokes in inappropriate circumstances like in front of my parents, or in front of young nieces and nephew, if he cannot judge when it's proper and not proper to come up with a sex joke then no, him and I are not gonna make it far.

Thats not the case here.

 

This guy simply doesnt like her telling certain jokes or kidding around the way his friends do. Apparently he has male and female standards for joke telling.

And we haven't had sex I don't know where the perspn got that

Then you arent in too deep. Bail.

mightycpa Established Member

mightycpa

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I'll bet you've just started to scratch the surface of the many things he's uncomfortable with.

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MapleWish Established Member

MapleWish

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We make sex jokes cause well we're not virgins and it's all in good fun BUT neither of us wants sex yet, I don't think that's weird. The sex jokes are just simple like I'll joke about his "size" or joke that him and his best guy friend have a sex bromance. Things like that but he said there's time I go overboard and that makes him question am I right for him

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mightycpa Established Member

mightycpa

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we're not virgins ... BUT neither of us wants sex yet, I don't think that's weird.

 

I kinda do. I have to question how much you really like each other if neither of you wants sex yet and neither of you are saving your virginity for each other.

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Erised Established Member

Erised

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He is ridiculous, but I gotta be honest, a guy judging like that would be a total dealbreaker for me. Eew.

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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We make sex jokes cause well we're not virgins and it's all in good fun BUT neither of us wants sex yet, I don't think that's weird. The sex jokes are just simple like I'll joke about his "size" or joke that him and his best guy friend have a sex bromance. Things like that but he said there's time I go overboard and that makes him question am I right for him

 

Those are the worse kind of sex jokes you can do to a man. You laugh at his manhood. Grow up.

 

I would not date a man joking about the size of my vagina and suggesting my room-mate and I are lesbians.

Edited by Gaeta
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Zahara Established Member

Zahara

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The sex jokes are just simple like I'll joke about his "size" or joke that him and his best guy friend have a sex bromance.

 

I don't think that's humor. It's juvenile.

  • Like 6
lgspot Established Member

lgspot

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Sounds like typical case of him being able to dish it out, but not take it so well.

Size/bromance. ;)

Perhaps you may have a better sense of humor than he does and he is a mite jealous of it.

 

Been my experience most girls have a better internal social "censor" around parents, kids, etc... than us guys do.

Keep laughing and cracking jokes. Humor is important in relationships:laugh:

Zahara Established Member

Zahara

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Sounds like typical case of him being able to dish it out, but not take it so well.

Size/bromance. ;)

 

Well OP, if he's making jokes about the size of your breasts and what your vagina looks like infront of his friends, then by all mean dish out.

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Revan32 Established Member

Revan32

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I think he has a very valid concern. All you agree with OP that he needs to lighten up, seriously need to open your minds. We have heard one side of this story. And its her side. She's already said she jokes about his size, which I think he should dump her on the spot for. (unless the joke was comparing him to a horse :cool: ) She may also be making jokes about sleeping with his friends, or blowing guys in the Wendy's parking lot. We have no idea. And if her bf is uncomfortable with it, how messed up are you for profiling him as the bad guy!? If this was a guy on here saying how stuck up his girlfriend was because he compared having sex with her to throwing a hot dog down a hallway, you'd all be up in arms telling him how horrible he is.

 

Double standards of peace!

 

Revan out!

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kaylan Established Member

kaylan

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^Dude, of course we only hear her side...shes the OP. We only hear one side in pretty much any thread on this forum.

 

And Christ...way to make a jump from harmless bromance jokes, to blowing guys in parking lots.

Those are the worse kind of sex jokes you can do to a man. You laugh at his manhood. Grow up.

 

I would not date a man joking about the size of my vagina and suggesting my room-mate and I are lesbians.

These arent really bad jokes if youre a guy with a decent sized penis, and are comfortable with your sexuality.

 

For example, personally I am rather well endowed...and the girl Im seeing has made jokes here and there about it. No big deal, I simply laugh. And she knows I love my friends...so if she made bromance jokes, I wouldnt be bothered at all.

 

OPs uptight guy though likely gets really bothered by these jokes.

Edited by kaylan
Diezel Established Member

Diezel

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The sex jokes are just simple like I'll joke about his "size" m

 

Um, no. Just, no. Specially if you haven't even had any sex yet.

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Revan32 Established Member

Revan32

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^Dude, of course we only hear her side...shes the OP. We only hear one side in pretty much any thread on this forum.

 

And Christ...way to make a jump from harmless bromance jokes, to blowing guys in parking lots.

These arent really bad jokes if youre a guy with a decent sized penis, and are comfortable with your sexuality.

 

I have literally heard a girl joke about that before. She went straight on my not girlfriend potential list.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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mightycpa Established Member

mightycpa

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I have literally heard a girl joke about that before. She went straight on my not girlfriend potential list.

 

Me too. I took her straight to Wendy's instead.

 

EDIT: I found out she wasn't joking.

Edited by mightycpa
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Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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What I find disturbing is the fact she knows he does not like these jokes belittling him and she is unwilling to stop them, which is a no effort on her part. When you are unwilling to stop something that demands no efforts on your part for your boyfriend then you are not girlfriend material.

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Diezel Established Member

Diezel

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Or she could just find a boyfriend that does like to have the size of his penis laughed at. That could work too.

  • Like 1
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