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Want to break NC on EX bday in 5 days


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Posted

Until tonight , i was super strong that i wont break NC.

 

But by looking at my ex picture and his bday is in 5 days, my mind is lurking around thinking that i should reach out. Never know may be everything turn out good. I am feeling excitement and happiness to be able to hear him. At this moment i just want to break NC.

 

I know this very well can go down hill, send me back to same break up crisis.

 

This semester is very important for me , ready to graduate, been on dean list from last year and plant to do it again this semester before i graduate. I want to graduate with honors, and next i am going for dental school. I have been very blessed with opportunities i have scored in last 6-9 months mainly because of NO CONTACT! I have always resisted and planned to resist my self until i secured my admission in dental school end of this year. Once i am have perfect career , i want to reach out to my ex. Many of you say what i am thinking is not worth it . But i want to show him that i can be succesful too like him.

 

Please share your thoughts here.

Posted

How long have you been in NC for? How long ago did you guys break up?

 

My ex fiance' birthday is coming up and we have a child... i WAS going to send him a gift and a card from our child.. we have been in NC for a month now and his birthday is approaching.. I have no decided i will not be sending him anything, he has hurt us and is hurting us so i am just going to ignore his birthday all together.. send him the message i dont care...

 

If you are over him and dont want to reconcile... then i say dont send him anything send him the message that your done because they are most likely expecting something because its their birthday

Posted

Most will say don't bother, I say follow your heart and your desire, but know it's a risk going in.

 

Look before you leap.

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Posted
Most will say don't bother, I say follow your heart and your desire, but know it's a risk going in.

 

Look before you leap.

 

Mathematically, your odds are no greater than 25% of getting together.

 

If T = together and A = apart, then here are the only possible outcomes about how you two will feel about it after you take this ill-advised step:

 

You Him - outcome

T T - together

A T - apart

T A - apart

A A - apart

 

That's why it rarely works out, and those odds are if all other things are equal. But if you assess the chances of TT given that you've been living no contact, practically, your odds are much worse.

  • Author
Posted (edited)
How long have you been in NC for? How long ago did you guys break up?

 

My ex fiance' birthday is coming up and we have a child... i WAS going to send him a gift and a card from our child.. we have been in NC for a month now and his birthday is approaching.. I have no decided i will not be sending him anything, he has hurt us and is hurting us so i am just going to ignore his birthday all together.. send him the message i dont care...

 

If you are over him and dont want to reconcile... then i say dont send him anything send him the message that your done because they are most likely expecting something because its their birthday

 

More than 1 year NC. About 6 months ago he requested me on skype, i added him but i havent messaged him or anything. He didnt even bother writing me.. He does post lot of pictures to run my imagination wild and i do same haha. I also get lot of blank call from all different numbers , not sure if its him though.

 

However much i deny , i want him back any day!

Edited by crazybestie101
Adding
  • Author
Posted
Mathematically, your odds are no greater than 25% of getting together.

 

If T = together and A = apart, then here are the only possible outcomes about how you two will feel about it after you take this ill-advised step:

 

You Him - outcome

T T - together

A T - apart

T A - apart

A A - apart

 

That's why it rarely works out, and those odds are if all other things are equal. But if you assess the chances of TT given that you've been living no contact, practically, your odds are much worse.

haha nice work, i know its risky. But i feel like he wont write me. About 6 months ago he requested me on skype, i added him but i never said anything. he didnt even bother saying anything. Then i started getting blank calls from all different numbers. Now not sure if thats him. He changes his pictures frequently so that my imagination run wild and i go ask him..

Posted

There's no reason to go back down this rabbit hole. I'm really not sure why you think you need to prove yourself to a guy who dumped you over a year ago.

Posted (edited)

As Simon mentioned, a year later still staring and slipping down that rabbit hole. Maybe you need a big kick up the arse to remind you of what your reality was by going back and reading your threads. You never even had a proper relationship with this guy, not in terms of any real commitment. Then he treated you like garbage when you chased him. If I recall, this is the 300 miles guy, the one you drove to and he told you to get out of his life? Yes? And now you want to reach out -- oh so sweet, look ex, I'm thinking of you on your special day, do you remember me, I'm still here waiting for you. I bet the first thing through his mind is, "Boy I treated her badly and she's still so nice to me!" Ugh.

 

And it's no wonder you can't get over this guy when you keep checking up on his life and constantly looking over your shoulder. Maybe another year from now you'll still be checking on his picture updates and posting about whether you should break NC.

Edited by Zahara
Posted

The math is wrong. Here's why

Assuming

TT=you both want to get back together

AA=neither one of you wants to get back together

TA=You want to get back together but he doesn't

AT=He wants to get back together but you don't

 

Two of those are the possible outcomes in your situation , making it a 50/50 shot.

Posted

No. Don't contact him. He won't even be thinking of you, it has been a year. It won't make him want you back, or make you look endearing. You will look, at best, crazy. Just leave it well alone. Please.

Posted
More than 1 year NC. About 6 months ago he requested me on skype, i added him but i havent messaged him or anything. He didnt even bother writing me.. He does post lot of pictures to run my imagination wild and i do same haha. I also get lot of blank call from all different numbers , not sure if its him though.

 

However much i deny , i want him back any day!

 

Where are these pictures posted??

Posted

I think it's ill advised if you're planning on showing off your life. I think if you're feeling strong and you want to know if you have another chance you could break NC.

 

There only two possible outcomes.

 

You get back together.

 

Or you start back over your healing at square one.

Posted

In my personal opinion, there is nothing wrong in wishing him. The only thing you got to be strong is ready for rejection or no reply.

I had sent my ex ap a lunar new year wish by e-greeting card and an sms. I was ready for no reply so at least I dont get disappointed.

Wishing you luck and hopes he response ya..

Posted

You've already sort of broken no contact by looking at his picture - stop doing that and get him out of your life!

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