Beautiful Kisses Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 OK so me and this guy I used to talk to stopped talking because he was basically using me for sex, I called him out on it we got into it and stopped talking. Well 2months goes by I move on with my life and get a random text from him wanting to "see me". I was already out that day, so I agreed to meet up with him. He was asking how I was doing and I told him I was great and that me and my boyfriend started talking about marriage. He then asked me would I leave my boyfriend for him. I laughed and said no way, why would I leave certainty for uncertainty. He then told me I didn't really want to get married and asked me did I love him when me and him was involved. I started to say no, but I did start to have strong feelings for him. He leaned in and tried to kiss me saying "you love me". I then told him it was nice seeing him, I had to go and would talk to him later, then I left. What do you guys think about this?!? I asked him why he came back around because I'll admit during our last fight I wasn't to nice to him. He said because he misses me. Why do you think he came back around and why he said some things he said?
OrangeParty Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 He's a manipulative scum. Stay away from him. You don't want to be anywhere near a relationship-wrecker. Erase him from your life. 1
somedude81 Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 OK so me and this guy I used to talk to stopped talking because he was basically using me for sex, I called him out on it we got into it and stopped talking. Well 2months goes by I move on with my life and get a random text from him wanting to "see me". I was already out that day, so I agreed to meet up with him. He was asking how I was doing and I told him I was great and that me and my boyfriend started talking about marriage. He then asked me would I leave my boyfriend for him. I laughed and said no way, why would I leave certainty for uncertainty. He then told me I didn't really want to get married and asked me did I love him when me and him was involved. I started to say no, but I did start to have strong feelings for him. He leaned in and tried to kiss me saying "you love me". I then told him it was nice seeing him, I had to go and would talk to him later, then I left. What do you guys think about this?!? I asked him why he came back around because I'll admit during our last fight I wasn't to nice to him. He said because he misses me. Why do you think he came back around and why he said some things he said? He obviously wants to keep using you for sex. The real question is why you are even thinking about him. You mentioned that you and your boyfriend are talking about marriage, you also said something about two months going by after the last time you met with this guy and moved on with your life. So how long have you been with your boyfriend? Dating for two months and talking about marriage is very fast.
Author Beautiful Kisses Posted February 16, 2015 Author Posted February 16, 2015 He obviously wants to keep using you for sex. The real question is why you are even thinking about him. You mentioned that you and your boyfriend are talking about marriage, you also said something about two months going by after the last time you met with this guy and moved on with your life. So how long have you been with your boyfriend? Dating for two months and talking about marriage is very fast. No. Me and my bf was together for 7years but when we took a "break" I started seeing this guy & he knew about my bf. What do you mean why was I thinking about him? He contacted me.
Honeybunnies Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 Does your boyfriend know about this other guy? And why did you put break in quotations? Why are you even thinking about this guy if you are with someone else? Yes, he might have contacted you - but you are the one on here asking what it all means. Why do you care what it means? You are not with him. Respect your boyfriend and yourself and stop talking to this other guy. 1
Author Beautiful Kisses Posted February 16, 2015 Author Posted February 16, 2015 Does your boyfriend know about this other guy? And why did you put break in quotations? Why are you even thinking about this guy if you are with someone else? Yes, he might have contacted you - but you are the one on here asking what it all means. Why do you care what it means? You are not with him. Respect your boyfriend and yourself and stop talking to this other guy. Omg I'm not talking to him, after that day I haven't spoken to him. He text me twice, but I ignored him. Why do you seem so bothered by this question? I'm just here looking for honest non judgmental advice. Also BTW don't say block his number because I did that along time ago, but how my phone carrier works is I can block his number but he still will be able to text me.
somedude81 Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 No. Me and my bf was together for 7years but when we took a "break" I started seeing this guy & he knew about my bf. What do you mean why was I thinking about him? He contacted me. OK, so you and your boyfriend where on a break. I'm not going to ask what that means. And yes, you made this thread about this guy which means that you are thinking about him. You shouldn't have met up with this guy when you are with your boyfriend talking about marriage. "I love him when me and him was involved. I started to say no, but I did start to have strong feelings for him." That's pretty troubling that you said that. If you want things to work with your BF you need to remove this other guy from your thoughts completely. Yes block him and block his text messages after you tell him to leave you alone.
mightycpa Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 He probably heard you were on a break of somekind, maybe read it on FB, maybe heard it from a mutual friend. I think he thought this: Bangin' time. Are you really just indifferently curious, or would some part of you like it to mean more than it does?
Buddhist Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 He then asked me would I leave my boyfriend for him. I laughed and said no way, He then told me I didn't really want to get married and asked me did I love him when me and him was involved. I started to say no, He leaned in and tried to kiss me saying "you love me". What do you guys think about this?!? I think a lot of things. That he is seeking an ego boost, that he wants you to break up with your sure thing for him, so he can then go back to ignoring you and making you feel insecure. That he isn't listening to what you are telling him, he is telling you what you feel. And that he doesn't respect your boundaries enough to not try and kiss you when you are in a relationship with someone else. In short, he doesn't want you, he just wants to have you on a string to make up for the insecurities he feels about himself. Abusive people like to pop back into your life just when you've moved on. Ever notice that? 1
Diezel Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 I'd love to see what you would say if you found out that your boyfriend met up with a girl in the same situation... 1
PegNosePete Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 What does your boyfriend think of this situation? What does he think you should do? You did tell him, right...? If not, why not? 2
Author Beautiful Kisses Posted February 16, 2015 Author Posted February 16, 2015 What does your boyfriend think of this situation? What does he think you should do? You did tell him, right...? If not, why not? No I didn't, but he KNOWS I started talking to this guy on our break.
Author Beautiful Kisses Posted February 16, 2015 Author Posted February 16, 2015 I'd love to see what you would say if you found out that your boyfriend met up with a girl in the same situation... I would be upset, but that's why I got out of there when I seen he was trying to push up on me in that way.
Author Beautiful Kisses Posted February 16, 2015 Author Posted February 16, 2015 I think a lot of things. That he is seeking an ego boost, that he wants you to break up with your sure thing for him, so he can then go back to ignoring you and making you feel insecure. That he isn't listening to what you are telling him, he is telling you what you feel. And that he doesn't respect your boundaries enough to not try and kiss you when you are in a relationship with someone else. In short, he doesn't want you, he just wants to have you on a string to make up for the insecurities he feels about himself. Abusive people like to pop back into your life just when you've moved on. Ever notice that? I agree with you
Author Beautiful Kisses Posted February 16, 2015 Author Posted February 16, 2015 He probably heard you were on a break of somekind, maybe read it on FB, maybe heard it from a mutual friend. I think he thought this: Bangin' time. Are you really just indifferently curious, or would some part of you like it to mean more than it does? No I was just curious, I don't like him anymore. Like I said before he contacted me we hadn't spoken at all in 2 months.
Zahara Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 I would be upset, but that's why I got out of there when I seen he was trying to push up on me in that way. The fact that you entertained seeing him is a huge red flag. And no, you being out already isn't a good reason as to why you agreed to it. Plus, the guy used you, what in the world would make you want to invest anymore time in him?
Mrin Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 No I didn't, but he KNOWS I started talking to this guy on our break. I'm pretty sure you did more than talk if I recall correctly from you last thread about this guy... Anyhow, back to your original question. This guy is a parasite. He just wanted to see if he could flex his control/power over you to get what he wanted - sex. Then you presented him with a real challenge - to see if you would break up with you BF or at least say you would - for him. You should not be talking to this guy much less meeting him. I still can't believe you did that.
Mrin Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 The fact that you entertained seeing him is a huge red flag. And no, you being out already isn't a good reason as to why you agreed to it. Plus, the guy used you, what in the world would make you want to invest anymore time in him? This x 100. Major red flag in my book.
Author Beautiful Kisses Posted February 16, 2015 Author Posted February 16, 2015 I'm pretty sure you did more than talk if I recall correctly from you last thread about this guy... Anyhow, back to your original question. This guy is a parasite. He just wanted to see if he could flex his control/power over you to get what he wanted - sex. Then you presented him with a real challenge - to see if you would break up with you BF or at least say you would - for him. You should not be talking to this guy much less meeting him. I still can't believe you did that. Why are you judging me by PAST? I don't live there anymore and I have no reason to lie to anyone on this site, I'm a grown woman. As I said before NOTHING HAPPENED. It was broad daylight and we was outside.
Zahara Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 (edited) Why are you judging me by PAST? I don't live there anymore and I have no reason to lie to anyone on this site, I'm a grown woman. As I said before NOTHING HAPPENED. It was broad daylight and we was outside. No one's judging you. You had sex with this guy. He used you for sex and treated you like an object. You had feelings for him. It changes everything. It wasn't just talk. Not sure why you omitted that part. It's not about "we was outside" but the fact that you chose to go and see him. This wasn't a guy you had coffee with or an innocent crush. You have a boyfriend now. Then you justify seeing him because you were out, which is a LAME excuse. Chances are you still have feelings for him -- and you needed his validation so that is why you went to see him. If you go back and read your old threads about this guy, you'll probably gag and knock yourself over the head for giving him the time of day that is if you're over him, unless you're still hung up on him -- clearly the analyzing "what does he meaaaaaan!!" and wanting to see him deems so. Edited February 16, 2015 by Zahara
SincereOnlineGuy Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 OK so me and this guy I used to talk to stopped talking because he was basically using me for sex, I called him out on it we got into it and stopped talking. Well 2months goes by I move on with my life and get a random text from him wanting to "see me". I was already out that day, so I agreed to meet up with him. He was asking how I was doing and I told him I was great and that me and my boyfriend started talking about marriage. He then asked me would I leave my boyfriend for him. I laughed and said no way, why would I leave certainty for uncertainty. He then told me I didn't really want to get married and asked me did I love him when me and him was involved. I started to say no, but I did start to have strong feelings for him. He leaned in and tried to kiss me saying "you love me". I then told him it was nice seeing him, I had to go and would talk to him later, then I left. What do you guys think about this?!? I asked him why he came back around because I'll admit during our last fight I wasn't to nice to him. He said because he misses me. Why do you think he came back around and why he said some things he said? why would he ask me if I would leave my boyfriend for him? Now of course, the more entertaining question here is: Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy would you consent to meet him as you did???
preraph Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 Look, having sex with different or multiple girls is very often more about ego than it is about horniness. This guy needs the ego boost he gets from thinking that all these casual hookups are a girl who'd like to be with him if he wasn't such the rolling stone. It's an attitude, an ego pose. Don't take it at all seriously. He's just looking for an ego boost. 1
Recommended Posts