Vixen32 Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 Ok, I'm 32 and I just got back from a 3rd date with a great guy (35) - he's cute, great job, passionate, sincere, generous, thinks about me, etc...he seems pretty awesome. Anyhow, things with him have been moving on the slow side romantically. I was thinking about this and realized I was giving him essentially zero signals of my interest - no casual touching, not getting comfy/cozy/close with him, or other typical cues that guys pick up on (winking, hair flipping, extended gaze, etc.), and I realize I likely seem not super interested - I even gave him the cheek at the end of the first date instead of letting him go in for the gold. Needless to say, he hasn't tried for a kiss since. That said - I would like to see him again, but I'm wondering how long I should wait for him to contact me before it's either, "he's not interested", or I should reach out. I'm really more curious about how long I should wait for him to contact me...should I expect something tomorrow (the day after the date), two days later, or what - assuming he wants to see me again? Concerned and scared I let him go too easily.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 Yes, you need to show signs too. If he feels an invisible force shield between you when it comes to touching he probably gets the vibe that you're not attracted to him. If it were me I would have dropped contact with you if the 3rd date went like that and I still didn't know where I stand. I would wait a half day and reach out to him and say you had a great time, and show him that you're still interested. Otherwise you might not hear from him.
Author Vixen32 Posted February 16, 2015 Author Posted February 16, 2015 Yes, you need to show signs too. If he feels an invisible force shield between you when it comes to touching he probably gets the vibe that you're not attracted to him. If it were me I would have dropped contact with you if the 3rd date went like that and I still didn't know where I stand. I would wait a half day and reach out to him and say you had a great time, and show him that you're still interested. Otherwise you might not hear from him. He's touched me a few times - just minor stuff. I haven't pulled away, but I haven't exactly been encouraging any more contact and haven't been initiating...in retrospect it probably comes across as pretty cold/uninterested.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 if after the second date I don't get the feeling that a girl is into me, I'll evaluate whether I want to even bother asking them out again. If I don't get a kiss, or touch doesn't seem reciprocated, those are bad signs. Remember guys are spending all the money on the first few dates. If you want them to keep spending money on you, you need to give them indicators of interest or they'll disappear.
smg15 Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 you better show interest because if the guy is that cute and has a great job he may not just be talking to you. So if you don't act now he will be gone
losangelena Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 Why are you not giving signals of interest? Are you into this guy? If you like him, now is the time to let him know. He's asked you out three times? It's time to ask him out yourself. You reach out first. You suggest a time/place to meet. You maybe even pay for it. Let him know that this means more to you than some free food and booze. 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 Why are you not giving signals of interest? Are you into this guy? If you like him, now is the time to let him know. He's asked you out three times? It's time to ask him out yourself. You reach out first. You suggest a time/place to meet. You maybe even pay for it. Let him know that this means more to you than some free food and booze. Agreed... Women have to put in effort too. 4th date is totally appropriate for a woman to ask a guy out or pay.
d0nnivain Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 Especially because you think you may not have effectively communicated your interest, I think you should not wait for him to call you. I think you should set up a date, call him, ask him out & you pay for it.
smg15 Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 Woman has to initiate contact between dates since the guy is paying The end
d0nnivain Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 Woman has to initiate contact between dates since the guy is paying The end That is very sexist. Both parties should initiate contact & both parties should contribute financially to their mutual entertainment.
smg15 Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 That is very sexist. Both parties should initiate contact & both parties should contribute financially to their mutual entertainment. I agree Im just saying if a guy has paid for 2 dates he should not be the only one initiating all the communication through texting and telephone. Because then it will look like you are being used for a "free night out"
d0nnivain Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 I agree Im just saying if a guy has paid for 2 dates he should not be the only one initiating all the communication through texting and telephone. Because then it will look like you are being used for a "free night out" That I agree with. If they are contributing to moving the relationship forward in different ways I'm fine. But you are correct, one side should not do all the paying AND all the initiating.
smg15 Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 That I agree with. If they are contributing to moving the relationship forward in different ways I'm fine. But you are correct, one side should not do all the paying AND all the initiating. Right because her interest in between dates determines if there will be another date.
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