Lostpanda Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 (edited) Hello everyone, this is my first time posting in this forum so my apologizes if this is in the wrong section. Well where do I begin? I guess we can start from the beginning. Freshman year of college I meant an amazing girl named Kim. All my friends told me she had a huge crush on me. So for awhile I was kinda playing hard to get. One night things changed in a heart beat when she came to my room and stayed the night. We didn't have sex, but we both took turns pleasuring one another orally. She was a virgin at the time so I wanted to take things very slow. We decided to go out with one another and lasted nearly 3 years. During our relationship we of course had our ups and downs. But for the most part we got along really good. Everyone thought we were the hottest couple on campus. Always laughing always smiling. She was a very insecure woman, which lead into us fighting sometimes. It was always over stupid things like a waitress talking with me. Or me being around "good looking" girls at party. But to be honest I never even thought about anyone else but Kim. What brought us together was the fact that we both came from a same family type background. We understood what each other had to go through living in a crazy household. I truly believed for those 3 years we were in love. Nothing could stop us. We even handle being far away each other for 7 months. Well unfortunately, one day we got into a huge fight over a stupid picture on Facebook and we broke up. During the initial period of us breaking up it was really bad. Lots of anger and mixed emotions. Shortly after us breaking up Kim got immediately into another relationship. Not even a month after we broke up. Till this day I honestly believed that I was taken advantage of. Doesn't make sense that after a 3 year realitionship you practically run into this other guys arms. Well they dated for two years and recently broke up... Deep down inside I will always have feelings for Kim. I know we can never get back together. Nor would I want too. She did some things to me that have personally scarred me for life. For example, my grandfather dieing and Kim not being there for me when it happen. I understand we weren't in a realtionship anymore but it would of been nice for her to say something. My question to you all.... I wish to contact her and ask why she has been treating me this way after all these years. Why the no contact? Was I really that bad of boy friend to you. Some of my friends say don't even bother. But they don't understand what we had. I've never been so attached spiritualaly, sexually to someone in my life.. Thanks for reading this long post. This has been in my mind for years and i had to let the monkey out of the cage. Edited February 15, 2015 by Lostpanda
BC1980 Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 You're asking why she stopped contacting you. The easy answer is that she was in another relationship. If she got into a relationship within a month of your breakup, she had clearly checked out much sooner and probably had her eye on this guy while with you. The thing about not contacting someone is that the person gets more distant as time goes on. It's easier to just stay away. She also probably thinks that you don't want any contact with her. 1
Author Lostpanda Posted February 15, 2015 Author Posted February 15, 2015 Yah you're right. I know the answer.. it just sucks knowing that I will probably never speak to her again. I'm much happier these days. I have a amazing girl in my life. So I mind as well just focus my energy and time on her.
CrystalShine2011 Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 I can understand wanting an answer for what she did to you - but honestly it may make things work. Sometimes it's best to move forward, even with no answer.
Author Lostpanda Posted February 15, 2015 Author Posted February 15, 2015 Thanks crystal. The best thing is to move on, which for the most part I have done. But I do notice around my birthday or hers I can't seem to get her off my mind. Like I said, I'm completely happier with her out of my life. And I do understand that sometimes things don't turn out the way you would like. I'm pretty sure by now she's forgotten about me. It's best not to wake up the past. Nothing really good can come from it. I have a lot to be thankful for and this new girl in my life is amazing.
Hoosfoos Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 I know how it feels. I am in a similar situation. You will never get the closure you want from a person like her. It's up to you to give it to yourself. And if you have someone else in your life that you see as worth keeping, your attention should be focused on her.
Author Lostpanda Posted February 16, 2015 Author Posted February 16, 2015 Thanks everyone who took the time to read this and reply with something. Like I said before this has been on my mind for so many years and never bothered to tell anyone. I feel a lot better just getting this off my chest. As far as my future plans, I'm going to keep showing all the love I can with my current girl. We have something pretty special between us and I can tell she's been through a rough relationship as well. I guess Kim will always just be a memory.
erklat Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 You can't reach out as a dumpee because you will look clingy. You can't get anything usable from her, everything you should have validated by yourself. If she hit a rough patch now she might even reach out to you, but I'd use that only to reject, ignore, or tell she's no longer welcome in any role in my life.
Recommended Posts