Why do they always say that nice guys finish last?

[NJ123]

Yes I have read the thread, and no I don't see any article.

 

What I'm saying is it's clear the OP is one of the sane women who liked to be treated well...and I am equally as bemused as her as to why some women love to be treated like crap.

 

Don't really understand what you're getting at?

 

I hate to bring up celebrities, but look at Sandra Bullock. One of the nicest people in the world, and even she fell for the bad boy & got married to him instead of meeting a good guy & dating/marrying him instead. Than of course look what happened with that. He treated her like complete **** & cheated on him. Maybe that's not exactly what you were saying in your post, but it just shows you that a lot of women love the "bad boy" traits for some reason. I guess because they have the confidence & are "exciting" to be around.

[StanMusial]

Just look at my casual sex thread for all the proof you need. 95% of the women in there admitted they'd bang the hot guy regardless of who he is. They could find out they were a charming convicted rapist in the past afterwards, & they probably still wouldn't regret it.

 

One of the gals on here was posting about how she wanted to date convicts because she thought they were "hot". That was a while ago and I don't feel like looking it up. People can do whatever they want to do, I don't really care, but when you're borderline antisocial because you can't find a "hot" bf then be prepared to live with the consequences.

[NJ123]

One of the gals on here was posting about how she wanted to date convicts because she thought they were "hot". That was a while ago and I don't feel like looking it up. People can do whatever they want to do, I don't really care, but when you're borderline antisocial because you can't find a "hot" bf then be prepared to live with the consequences.

 

Yeah, pretty much. It's pretty ridiculous what some are attracted to. But that's their business, and like you said in the end they will have to live with the awful aftermath. Than likely they'll crawl to another guy to help raise a kid that isn't theirs.

[elaine567]

I believe some men appear to be "nice" guys but when they manage to hook the woman, they then start the bullsh*t, the controlling stuff, the manipulative stuff and the woman is blind sided. She then thinks what has happened to that lovely guy I married/first went out with, he must be ill or I have done something wrong and she wants to heal him, look after him.

After she realises it is hopeless, she is so deep in then, financially/emotionally or with houses and kids that she puts up with the cr*p until she finally gets the chance to leave.

I feel many men do it deliberately, they look for a willing victim, someone looking for love, and use their charm to get her.

Once they have her trapped, it is usually then all about control.

 

The OP needs to be very careful, with no history of anything but good guys she is vulnerable.

[Maleficent]

Yes I have read the thread, and no I don't see any article.

 

What I'm saying is it's clear the OP is one of the sane women who liked to be treated well...and I am equally as bemused as her as to why some women love to be treated like crap.

 

Don't really understand what you're getting at?

 

My bad Iconfused two threads. I suggest you read the Nice guy syndrome thread.

[NJ123]

It seems people here keep saying "nice" guys turn out to be jerks. I mean what exactly is an actual nice guy than if people keep saying they appear "nice" than they turn into some evil person afterwards?

 

What's the exact traits of a nice guy to a woman that they won't put in the friend zone?

[123321]

Some women are addicted to drama but why do men go for these women. Go for healthy and sane women.

 

Both of them are in a relationship already.

[EveAFlame]

There is a difference between a nice guy versus a Nice Guy. Pick up the book No More Mr Nice Guy. Very enlightening with the explanation of "covert contracts" and the like.

[Woggle]

It seems people here keep saying "nice" guys turn out to be jerks. I mean what exactly is an actual nice guy than if people keep saying they appear "nice" than they turn into some evil person afterwards?

 

What's the exact traits of a nice guy to a woman that they won't put in the friend zone?

 

People who say this just think all guys are jerks and if this is the case no point trying to have anything healthy or sane with them.

[Maleficent]

Both of them are in a relationship already.

 

Ha!

[alphamale]

basically what it comes down to is that the normal guy is honest, voices his opinions and does what he says. Some of this may go over like a lead balloon with his honey but he is being honest and if she doesn't like it then too bad. There are more fish in the sea.

 

Mr. Nice Guy is not honest, rarely voices his true opinions and hides things from people.

[NJ123]

basically what it comes down to is that the normal guy is honest, voices his opinions and does what he says. Some of this may go over like a lead balloon with his honey but he is being honest and if she doesn't like it then too bad. There are more fish in the sea.

 

Mr. Nice Guy is not honest, rarely voices his true opinions and hides things from people.

 

So what you're saying is the nice guy is not a nice person. And that a nice guy isn't normal. Wtf lol. This thread is confusing as ****. No one seems to know what a nice guy is i guess.

[EveAFlame]

So what you're saying is the nice guy is not a nice person. And that a nice guy isn't normal. Wtf lol. This thread is confusing as ****. No one seems to know what a nice guy is i guess.

 

But it isn't confusing. There are Mr Nice Guys who only do things in order to get something from people. Unfortunately, they do not voice their expectations and get VERY angry when people do not fall in line. It is called a covert contract.

 

"If I do X, she will have sex with me."

 

It is passive aggressive. In fact, Mr Nice Guys suffer from serious passive aggressive behaviors.

[alphamale]

But it isn't confusing. There are Mr Nice Guys who only do things in order to get something from people. Unfortunately, they do not voice their expectations and get VERY angry when people do not fall in line. It is called a covert contract.

 

"If I do X, she will have sex with me."

 

It is passive aggressive. In fact, Mr Nice Guys suffer from serious passive aggressive behaviors.

indeed....

[NJ123]

But it isn't confusing. There are Mr Nice Guys who only do things in order to get something from people. Unfortunately, they do not voice their expectations and get VERY angry when people do not fall in line. It is called a covert contract.

 

"If I do X, she will have sex with me."

 

It is passive aggressive. In fact, Mr Nice Guys suffer from serious passive aggressive behaviors.

 

 

Well those guys shouldn't be labeled as nice than. They fall into the jerk category. What to you is a nice guy that doesn't fall into the friend zone?

[EveAFlame]

Well those guys shouldn't be labeled as nice than. They fall into the jerk category. What to you is a nice guy that doesn't fall into the friend zone?

 

Outwardly, he may appear nice. He may treat someone to drinks. He might offer to give a ride someplace. But the motivations behind the actions are NOT nice. And a woman might not know it until he becomes angry with her.

[Maleficent]

Well those guys shouldn't be labeled as nice than. They fall into the jerk category. What to you is a nice guy that doesn't fall into the friend zone?

 

It's because these guys refer themselves as 'nice guys'.

 

«but I did X. Why won't you date/have sex with me? I'm a nice guy! Don't you want to be with a nice guy who treats you right? You'd rather be with a jerk who treats you like crap and cheats on you?»

 

So we refer to them as Mr Nice Guy, or Nice Guy TM kind of in a sarcastic way.

[insert_name]

I'm looking for a "common sense girl."

 

Somebody who will dump a guy instantly if he is abusive or cheats on her. A girl who won't take any crap from a guy who is disrespectful to her or tries to be manipulative. A girl who is able to voice the concerns she has about the relationship.

 

Hahaha good luck with that!

[insert_name]

Well those guys shouldn't be labeled as nice than. They fall into the jerk category. What to you is a nice guy that doesn't fall into the friend zone?

 

The difference between a nice guy and a bad boy/jerk is that one is physically attractive, the other isn't. You can make your own mind up on which is which.

[alphamale]

or Nice Guy TM

:lmao:

[smackie9]

I hate to bring up celebrities, but look at Sandra Bullock. One of the nicest people in the world, and even she fell for the bad boy & got married to him instead of meeting a good guy & dating/marrying him instead. Than of course look what happened with that. He treated her like complete **** & cheated on him. Maybe that's not exactly what you were saying in your post, but it just shows you that a lot of women love the "bad boy" traits for some reason. I guess because they have the confidence & are "exciting" to be around.

 

In Jesse's defence, he's a master fabricator so he has talent, he has a good sense of humor, is famous, owns his own business so he is sucessful, motivated, hard working, confident, charismatic and people just loved him (before he cheated on her)....those are the atributes that many woman would be attracted to, not the tatoos...ya gotta give Sandra some credit, she's not that stupid to chase after him because he looks dangerous.

[StanMusial]

So what you're saying is the nice guy is not a nice person. And that a nice guy isn't normal. Wtf lol. This thread is confusing as ****. No one seems to know what a nice guy is i guess.

 

I think for the purposes of LS and other forums like it, nice guys are guys who pretended to be nice but really weren't.

 

I have had a few women explain it to me as "nice" is how you describe a guy who is basically OK as a person but not good looking or rich or anything. Like he won't beat you or steal from you but you won't like him in a romantic way.

[insert_name]

But it isn't confusing. There are Mr Nice Guys who only do things in order to get something from people. Unfortunately, they do not voice their expectations and get VERY angry when people do not fall in line. It is called a covert contract.

 

"If I do X, she will have sex with me."

 

It is passive aggressive. In fact, Mr Nice Guys suffer from serious passive aggressive behaviors.

 

But then a lot of women have the attitude of "if I have sex with him he will do 'x' for me". Women have been trading sex for material advantage in all walks of life since time immemorial. So as a mating strategy it works- its just not as effective for guys as it is for women.

[NJ123]

The difference between a nice guy and a bad boy/jerk is that one is physically attractive, the other isn't. You can make your own mind up on which is which.

 

So I guess there's no such thing as nice guys to women according to this forum, but only good guys. And how can't a guy who treats you good without any hidden agenda not be labeled as a nice guy? Not every guy who's nice will have a hidden agenda or get mad when you turn him down. A lot of guys would just move on.

[NJ123]

In Jesse's defence, he's a master fabricator so he has talent, he has a good sense of humor, is famous, owns his own business so he is sucessful, motivated, hard working, confident, charismatic and people just loved him (before he cheated on her)....those are the atributes that many woman would be attracted to, not the tatoos...ya gotta give Sandra some credit, she's not that stupid to chase after him because he looks dangerous.

 

And of course that's what she was attracted to. But was never really seen as a good guy. Everyone wondered what the hell she was doing with him. Than when he cheated on her, no one was that surprised. She's labeled as "america's sweethart" so that's why there was so much press about it.