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Deciding between $$ and Quality of Life??

Smthn_Like_Olivia

By Smthn_Like_Olivia
in Business and Professional Relationships

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Smthn_Like_Olivia Established Member

Smthn_Like_Olivia

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I currently live and work in an area where the cost of living is fair and public schools are at the top of their game. My guy moved here to be with me, but still works in New Orleans, which is an hour and half commute one way every day. Our long term plans are to relocate to Colorado, but the expense of moving that far has been quite a barrier. Although I've been at my job almost 10 years, I don't see much more opportunity for advancement or pay. Once you hit a certain point in my field, you can remain stagnant for years.

 

So anyways, he applied for a position here and I applied for a position in N.O. to see what would happen. Turns out, it looks like we are BOTH going to be offered the jobs. So here's the ticker. The job I'm being offered is contract (2-3 years), but at almost DOUBLE what I'm making now. The job he is being offered (same field), pays less, but he'd only be driving 7 miles to work, instead of the 85 miles he drives everyday. If I take the job in N.O., he would keep his current job, and we would need to relocate there.

 

New Orleans' cost of living is considerable higher, and with 4 kids, we would be looking at an increase of $500 a month for rent in a decent area. The other factor is safety and schools for the kids. Wealthier people often put their kids in private schools, something I simply cannot afford with 4 kids. Here, my kids (age ranging 10-15) can ride their bikes through the neighborhood and play outside without worry. I live in a beautiful neighborhood with tree-lined streets, nice neighbors, parks, etc. Essentially no traffic whatsoever. N.O. is a different lifestyle altogether, and I'd never feel comfortable letting my kids leave my eyesight in any neighborhood I could even afford to live in there. You have to pay for parking EVERYWHERE and a lot of houses, you still have to park on the street.

 

BUT...with the significant increase in pay, and the short term contract, we could save the money for us to make the move to Colorado in a couple years, which is ultimately where we want to be. If I stay here, the goal remains open-ended.

 

So now I'm torn. If I didn't have kids, it would be a no brainer and N.O. would be a great choice. But for the sake of my kids, I feel like I'm having to choose between quality of life and money. I need some help here. Thoughts??

lgspot Established Member

lgspot

Posted
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I moved for money and have had more regrets than not. I was happier before move.

Just my thoughts, quality of life for your kids is priority. That coupled with your guy spending less time on the road would be a concideration. It would have to be ALOT difference in money for me knowing how I feel now.

Parks for kids vs paid parking? Nice house on treelined street?

Colorado will still be there in a couple of years.

 

Sorry. I'm not much help. And I DO like Colorado

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writergal Established Member

writergal

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I made a bulleted list from your OP, to suss out the pros and cons of your situation.

 

What it comes down to is that if you stay in your current city, it will take you and your boyfriend longer to save for a move to Colorado. Is that so bad? To wait a little longer for a big cross country move? What is the rush?

 

If you two take the new jobs offered to you in New Orleans, you would give up a good quality of life in your current city, for 2-3 years of lower education and lower quality of life, because your new job would allow you to save more money in less time, and the move to Colorado would become a reality by the time your contracted job ends.

 

If you are willing to give up your good quality of life for 3 years maximum so that you and your boyfriend can move your family to Colorado, then I say do it. But, if you are afraid that the sub par public education, dangerous neighborhoods, and completely different lifestyle and culture of New Orleans will disrupt the stability and happiness of your family, just stay put in your current city and push back your move-to date for your Colorado move.

 

Increase your savings where you currently live, by making lifestyle changes. Cut back on travel (no travel by plane, just by bus). Buy kids' sport equipment at second hand sports shops. Buy used clothing instead of new. Walk more, and take city transportation instead of driving b/c that cuts back on what you spend for gas. Get rid of your cable tv. Get rid of your 2-year cellphone contract and instead do a month by month cellphone plan. Have a garage sale. Sell items you don't need. Find ways to cut corners on everything that you spend money on, with the exception of your rent/mortgage and utilities bills.

 

Then you can stay put, and still save money for a move to Colorado which you push back 3 years, because that's how long you'd have to wait to move there if you and your boyfriend took your new jobs offered to you.

 

Why can't your boyfriend find a job in your current city? Ask him if he'd be willing to do that instead of make that 90 minute commute. It would help save more money quicker if he worked locally. It wouldn't make sense for him to switch jobs to the lower paying job in N.O. if you took the contract job there either, if your goal is to save money for the Colorado move.

 

Current living area:

 

Pros

  • Tree-lined streets
  • Safe neighborhoods
  • Quiet neighborhoods
  • Affordable cost of living
  • Quality public school system
  • 10 years stable job income

 

Cons

  • Boyfriend has 90 minute commute to N.O.
  • Expenses there are too high, and prevent you and your boyfriend from saving enough money for a move to Colorado

 

New Orleans situation:

 

Pros

  • Both you and your boyfriend were offered jobs in N.O.
  • Your income will double and your boyfriend's commute time and gas money expenses disappears

 

Cons

  • Your job in N.O. pays more but is a 2-3 year contract. Then you will have to find another job there.
  • Your boyfriend's new job pays less, even though his commute disappears. Once your contract job ends, you two will be worse off b/c his job pays less and can't support a family of 5, in case you can't find another job in N.O.
  • Cost of Living is higher in N.O. than where you currently live.
  • Safety factor is lower in N.O. than where you currently live.
  • Public School System in N.O. is sub par, and private school is too expensive.
  • Street parking is metered or requires parking permits everywhere in N.O.

  • Like 1
preraph Established Member

preraph

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You should go there. It will be fun and it's a great town, and it's only temporary. Public school won't kill the kids. Do your research and I'm sure you'll find some are better than others, so choose a good neighborhood.

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Smthn_Like_Olivia Established Member

Smthn_Like_Olivia

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@ Writergal - Boyfriend's current job is in N.O. He applied for a job here and they basically told him in the interview that they were going to offer it to him. The job here is the one that pays less, but either way we go, he won't be commuting anymore.

 

My main concern and worry is the kids. I've even considered moving somewhere outside of New Orleans, where the commute would be shorter, but my kids wouldn't be stuck in a school they hate. Bf groans at the thought of doing any kinda commute anymore. The position is contract on their end, but not mine. Meaning if we decided we could make the move in a year, instead of two, I wouldn't be under contractual obligation to stay on.

 

At the same time, nearly doubling my salary would relieve a lot of financial pressure and allow me to do more fun things with the kids and REALLY save. I'm still searching the home rental listing and it just astounds me...

CarrieT Established Member

CarrieT

Posted
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I've even considered moving somewhere outside of New Orleans, where the commute would be shorter, but my kids wouldn't be stuck in a school they hate.

Do you know they would hate their schools?

 

Or are you supposing they will hate having to move and change and make new friends?

 

Personally, I would think moving to New Orleans would be an interesting adventure that could widen the kids' horizons and outlook on their world view.

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Smthn_Like_Olivia Established Member

Smthn_Like_Olivia

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Do you know they would hate their schools?

 

Or are you supposing they will hate having to move and change and make new friends?

 

Personally, I would think moving to New Orleans would be an interesting adventure that could widen the kids' horizons and outlook on their world view.

 

 

The kids are used to moving as we have done that a lot in the past few years, but all within the same general area. Just speaking to my bf and people that live in the area, the public schools are not ideal, and many try to get into the charter schools which work like the lottery every year where random names are pulled for admission.

 

Uggghhh... So as I was typing this I got a call from a realtor about a property I'd inquired about. She's lived down there her whole life, and all but discouraged me from making the move because of the kids and the school systems... :-(

writergal Established Member

writergal

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Olivia, can you take some time off work right now to go tour some schools in the neighborhood(s) you'd prefer to move to? That may help you make your decision about the school systems there.

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Smthn_Like_Olivia Established Member

Smthn_Like_Olivia

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Olivia, can you take some time off work right now to go tour some schools in the neighborhood(s) you'd prefer to move to? That may help you make your decision about the school systems there.

 

I'm going down there on Wednesday to take a look at some properties, so I'll try to get some info on schools in the area as well.

anika99 Established Member

anika99

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I'm on side with staying where you are and letting your kids continue to enjoy their neighborhood and school. I don't believe you will ever regret delaying your plans for the sake of your kids but if you move and it all goes bad for them then you will definitely regret that.

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Smthn_Like_Olivia Established Member

Smthn_Like_Olivia

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After my conversation with the realtor and my bf last night, we really sat down and started hashing things out. New Orleans is a great city for tourists, young, single people or wealthy families that can afford the high cost of living. I know deep in my heart that I would be miserable living there, and I could never forgive myself for moving the kids somewhere that would affect their level of education and their quality of life.

 

HOWEVER, the thought of turning down that job makes me ill as I could really use that extra money. So...instead we've decided to move to an area that's a midway point to N.O. My bf could still take the job here, which he really wants, and it would only be a 15 min drive for him. I will take the job in New Orleans, but shorten the commute by 30 min. For the pay, I think it'll be worth it. The town we are looking at has STELLAR schools that I know my kids would like and do well in. In addition, I found an AMAZING home for lease in the area that's the same as what I'm paying now but an additional 1,000 sq ft and upgraded to the T. It's less than 2 miles from downtown, yet set back and somewhat secluded with a pond nearby where my boys can go fishing! I've got an appt in the morning to see it in person and I'm really excited. It's truly amazing how things work out, and I appreciate the advice from everyone in this thread!:)

  • Like 6
writergal Established Member

writergal

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That's awesome news Olivia! I'm so glad your situation worked out!

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amaysngrace Established Member

amaysngrace

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I don't think it's too cool to be bopping your kids all around so that your BF has a shorter commute.

 

But that's just me.

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Smthn_Like_Olivia Established Member

Smthn_Like_Olivia

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I don't think it's too cool to be bopping your kids all around so that your BF has a shorter commute.

 

But that's just me.

 

Maybe you should try reading the ENTIRE story. He's been driving an hour and half one way for almost a year. He's taking a job HERE. I am taking a job THERE. I am moving the kids to shorten MY commute, not his, and they will end up in an even better school, a safe neighborhood and property where they can roam, play and fish without worry. By the way, one of my sons absolutely LOVES to fish and will be overjoyed if we get this property, but thanks for the misunderstood, useless input.

Edited by Smthn_Like_Olivia
amaysngrace Established Member

amaysngrace

Posted
Posted
Maybe you should try reading the ENTIRE story. He's been driving an hour and half one way for almost a year. He's taking a job HERE. I am taking a job THERE. I am moving the kids to shorten MY commute, not his, and they will end up in an even better school, a safe neighborhood and property where they can roam, play and fish without worry. By the way, one of my sons absolutely LOVES to fish and will be overjoyed if we get this property, but thanks for the misunderstood, useless input.

 

You asked for thoughts so I gave mine. I'm sorry if you didn't like what I had to say about bopping your kids around but it does seem as if your BF is calling the shots and you all just follow.

 

I hope your one child loves fishing there and it all works out well for the other three.

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Smthn_Like_Olivia Established Member

Smthn_Like_Olivia

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You asked for thoughts so I gave mine. I'm sorry if you didn't like what I had to say about bopping your kids around but it does seem as if your BF is calling the shots and you all just follow.

.

 

Show me exactly where in all that it portrays my bf calling the shots?? By moving here and driving an hour and half twice a day to be with me? Or perhaps by leaving his job of 6 years to take a lesser paying job here to be with me? Perhaps you didn't see the part where his accepting the job or keeping his current job was all dependent on what I wanted to do and what was best for MY children? Perhaps he shouldn't have a say at all even though he is helping me to provide for 4 children that aren't even his.

 

What you have is a twisted, distorted view of the facts and your only contribution is negative, useless input. It's amazing you can't see that, but here's an example of what you just did.

 

I state, "I'm searching for a new route to walk my dog cause he gets tired on the current route because of excessive hills."

 

Your reply, "You shouldn't put his collar on so tight and give the poor thing room to breathe.

 

Useless rhetoric based on nothing.

lgspot Established Member

lgspot

Posted
Posted
After my conversation with the realtor and my bf last night, we really sat down and started hashing things out. New Orleans is a great city for tourists, young, single people or wealthy families that can afford the high cost of living. I know deep in my heart that I would be miserable living there, and I could never forgive myself for moving the kids somewhere that would affect their level of education and their quality of life.

 

HOWEVER, the thought of turning down that job makes me ill as I could really use that extra money. So...instead we've decided to move to an area that's a midway point to N.O. My bf could still take the job here, which he really wants, and it would only be a 15 min drive for him. I will take the job in New Orleans, but shorten the commute by 30 min. For the pay, I think it'll be worth it. The town we are looking at has STELLAR schools that I know my kids would like and do well in. In addition, I found an AMAZING home for lease in the area that's the same as what I'm paying now but an additional 1,000 sq ft and upgraded to the T. It's less than 2 miles from downtown, yet set back and somewhat secluded with a pond nearby where my boys can go fishing! I've got an appt in the morning to see it in person and I'm really excited. It's truly amazing how things work out, and I appreciate the advice from everyone in this thread!:)

 

Sounds like a win-win!!!

Good for the kids... Good for the bf... $$$$... AND POND FOR FISHING!!!!

Quality of life AND Bucks!!!! Colorado in the future.... AND POND FOR FISHING...

Close to New Orleans for the interesting adventures Carrie mentioned.

AND A POND FOR FISHING...

Good luck in the morning. (AND A POND FOR FISHING) :cool:

  • Like 2
pink_sugar Established Member

pink_sugar

Posted
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As someone who has moved away from high cost of living areas, I am much happier making less money and being able to have a better quality of life due to my rent being half of what it used to be before we moved. We only make a tad less than before. I honestly think your hunny should accept his job offer. It's permanent and though he'd make less, the amount of money you both would be saving by his not having to commute as far (7 miles vs 85) would definitely save you guys some money needed to be able to move. I am always iffy on contract work. I once declined a 2 year contract because I had a permanent job. 6 months later, they contacted me again because the position had opened. Meaning the other person was let go quite quickly. No thanks.

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