Gloria25 Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 Thats the thing. He didn't hover. We would only be in contact every few months or so. I would do things for him as well which is why I thought he insisted on paying all the time, as a thank you, he earns a lot of money as he has 2 successful businesses that he runs and family money on top of that. He will often pay for others both males and females. I probably took less from him than anyone else as it was just meals out and I refused any financial help or "reward" when offered after giving him a hand. It was never flowers or chocolates etc, (he has been known to be extravagant with his thanks to others, cars expensive jewellery, watches etc). Nothing that could be seen as "romantic". Heck our last meal out was breakfast after I had helped out for a few hours on the farm and was covered in placenta and poo... Not exactly romantic... Lambing season gets busy! It just got really annoying over the years as I wanted to spoil him (as a friend) too (we are talking 15 years that we have been friends, we met through a girl he was dating that I knew and it has never at any point be considered as more than just friendship in all that time). Other male and female friends often pay for me the same way as I do with them. Its just this guy really didn't ever let me pay. Then we went out for a walk and were chatting, a general catch up as we hadn't seen each other for almost 6 months (I was very ill, he was working on setting up a new branch for one of his businesses and expanding the other). It was just after I had split up from my ex. He was having women troubles as well. It was a general moan and groan about the opposite sexes, a oh well better fish in the sea and lets both pull our socks up kind of chat. We have had these before. Same as we have had conversations about customers, business, ideas Defra being idiots etc... Next thing I know he has slapped my backside. I gave him the "that's not good look" which is normally enough when he is going over board or done something a bit stupid, let it slide. He isn't the most "subtle" of blokes and often sticks his foot in it so figured he was just trying to cheer me up in his own way, the comment that went with it was "Don't worry old girl, blokes will fancy you as you have a fantastic a***". Other men in my life come out with stuff like that with out it meaning anything. Then later on came another bum grope and the request of casual sex! I hear ya, but still, that's why I don't have male "friends" per se. Unless he's not into women and dates guys - I believe a guy just doesn't do things for you w/o expecting something in return. So, if I'm not romantically interested in a guy, I don't hang with him and stuff. I posted about this a while back. A Hispanic chick that was in the Army got killed by her male roommate. She'd go out with him and stuff and had no romantic interest in him. They'd go to the clubs, on vacations together, etc. And, she wasn't doing it to take advantage of him. Actually, him losing his job and flaking on the rent is when she told him he had to leave and he got mad and killed her. That chick reminded me so much of myself. She was hard working, went to school, was "hooah" in the Army (jumping out of lanes and stuff) and was always looking out for her family. But, she had bad luck with guys and sad her "nice guy" of a roommate killed her. You'd think it was the crazy/involved/taken guys she was casually dating.
alphamale Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 I believe a guy just doesn't do things for you w/o expecting something in return. So, if I'm not romantically interested in a guy, I don't hang with him and stuff. true dat, sister
Author E-Squared Posted February 16, 2015 Author Posted February 16, 2015 I hear ya, but still, that's why I don't have male "friends" per se. Unless he's not into women and dates guys - I believe a guy just doesn't do things for you w/o expecting something in return. So, if I'm not romantically interested in a guy, I don't hang with him and stuff. I get what you are saying, but I have worked with some women, as well been friends with some women and I haven't exhibited romantic feelings for them. Despite what I mentioned in a previous post, that didn't last long, and we still talk from time to time.
alphamale Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 I get what you are saying, but I have worked with some women, as well been friends with some women and I haven't exhibited romantic feelings for them. Despite what I mentioned in a previous post, that didn't last long, and we still talk from time to time. don't be friends with chicks, they are not built for that. but, they are built for something other that is quite pleasurable
Gloria25 Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 I get what you are saying, but I have worked with some women, as well been friends with some women and I haven't exhibited romantic feelings for them. Despite what I mentioned in a previous post, that didn't last long, and we still talk from time to time. Well, I have male co-workers I talk to and stuff. But, they are kinda like any other worker bee. But, I'm not like having lunch with them or doing much with them.
Author E-Squared Posted February 16, 2015 Author Posted February 16, 2015 don't be friends with chicks, they are not built for that. but, they are built for something other that is quite pleasurable That sounds rather sexist. Are you saying that I should cut contact with women who I am friends with? Well, I have male co-workers I talk to and stuff. But, they are kinda like any other worker bee. But, I'm not like having lunch with them or doing much with them. True, but I have to say that I see attractive women all the time, and while I acknowledge their attractiveness, I don't feel anything for them. I even found myself rather friendly with women who are married and I am far from a threat to their marriages.
alphamale Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 That sounds rather sexist. Are you saying that I should cut contact with women who I am friends with? society is built around "sexism". and yes, it is my opinion that your friends should be the same sex
Author E-Squared Posted February 16, 2015 Author Posted February 16, 2015 society is built around "sexism". and yes, it is my opinion that your friends should be the same sex Well, not all guys think the same way you do. It's like I said before, I see attractive women everywhere, but I am not always attracted to them. I have had female friends who I have never had any sort of attraction towards, believe it or not.
Author E-Squared Posted February 17, 2015 Author Posted February 17, 2015 He may have regarded himself as a nice guy, but I doubt many people who knew him saw him in the same light. When I use the word "nice" about somebody, I mean that I find them pleasant to be around, considerate of others and that generally I like them. I think a man like that is more, rather than less attractive. There's a balance, though. Being overly civilised can create a bit of a wall. Good manners have to be balanced with the ability to create a sense of comfort and intimacy, which tends to involve a bit of banter. With super nice, polite guys you can find yourself watching your Ps and Qs to the point where it all gets a bit too clinical. In some ways, I kind of took that as an entitled psychopath who never got his way in life and he just snapped. It doesn't help that male virgin-shaming exists.
Filling your GAP Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 You are absolutely right! I am a very strong, intelligent, ambitious woman, and my ex husband was a so called nice guy...so nice that he would never talk to me about what was bothering him because he thought I would "chew him up and spit him out", however I would not have done that even once. Anyway, it led to me not respecting him and his ultimate betrayal and infidelity. I threw him and his stuff out, and swore from that day forward, I wanted "bad boys" because at least they could say what they want and need....of course, since those early days, I have come to the realization that what I truly want is a CONFIDENT, kind, honest, faithful GOOD boy and nothing less! Stay true to yourself, work hard to be the best you that you can be, and the Universe will bring all the joy and gifts to you!!
Author E-Squared Posted February 20, 2015 Author Posted February 20, 2015 Has anybody ever heard the term "Captain Save-a-Hoe"? If you ever hear the song of the same name, it kind of relates to "Nice Guy Syndrome."
NGC1300 Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 Nice guy is just a euphemism for the fact that you don't make her pussy wet haha.
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