Blondie555 Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 Hey, a month ago I broke up with my bf after 2 years. he agreed with my decision. The thing is that I felt I was giving a lot to the relationship while he wanted to be more with friends, he wanted more freedom, he was sick and tired of all the fighting. We didn't talk for three weeks after the brake-up, I understood my mistakes and improved myself. after this 3 weeks I tried to contact but he wasn't interested. so after another week of trying I talked to him, said I'm sorry, I love him and I want him back. The conversation were positive, he said he still loves me but he don't want to come back, he wasn't cold to me, he hugged me, kissed my head, let me hold his hand while we were talking and I was crying... he asked me to stay friends and said he was happy we talked. The other day I asked him if there is a chance for us to come back and he said that he don't want it. I started to be a little cold to him and in the third day of this "friendship" he said he thinking about me again and he don't want to, he said I'm a bad person and that will never change so he don't want any contact with me, I tried to convince him but it didn't helped. He saw me crying to his friend after that and I saw he was smiling .. I was so hurt... then he started to talk to me again and I said I don't want to contact him but he decided we will stay friends.. for the next three days he was trying to contact but I didn't answer.. he said he misses me and want to stay friends,he said that he know that he was wrong and apologized, but I said nothing... for this two days I didn't hear from him, I don't want to be his friend... I'm afraid to loose him.. he said that while we didn't talk after the brake up he almost didn't think of me at all... what if no contact won't help here? I know I've made a change, I'm a better person now, more happy, smiling, but I still miss him.. btw, were in the same class... hope you will help me.. thanks in advance.
Elle1975 Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 he said he still loves me but he don't want to come back [...] The other day I asked him if there is a chance for us to come back and he said that he don't want it You don't. It's over. I don't know who really is to "blame". I don't know if you were controlling, or if he just wanted his freedom, either way he's made it clear he is not interested. He fed you the classic "lets be friends" in the hope that you will go away quietly. Personally I'd go away alright, as in stop contacting him, just disappear, and work on your issues if you think you need to. As for the class, just totally ignore him. It's just one (long) semester, keep that in mind. You will make things worse by begging, or "showing up" where he hangs out. You will look pathetic, and it's a real turn off and a relationship killer.
stillafool Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 Me thinks it's over for good. He is enjoying his single life now. I think you should start dating others.
erklat Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 You definitely don't want to be friends. So he's all or nothing and as that you should have presented it. You can wait until he contacts you - not before - and and post here how the situation looks like and how can you tell him that you're either in a relationship or a cold meat to each other. It probably won't work because you were already clingy so he'll think you are bluffing, but that is your only option. In no case you can start any communication with him. From another males standpoint - freedom bnll**** and now he wants to be friends - there is another chick in the game. You have hot changed. It would take you at least 33 weeks to change at least a little bit.
Toodaloo Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 Sorry Blondie but this one is gone. Let him go. Do what you have to do, cry, grieve, paint your nails, get your hair done etc... But do not contact him again and do not ask him to come back. There is life after a break up. It will be fine. Today may be a horrid day but it does get better.
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