lostgirl26 Posted April 4, 2005 Posted April 4, 2005 What to do? I have very little friends if none at all and the one just had a baby not too long ago and is pretty consumed by him and the other got divorced about a year ago and has started behaving since then out of control. I rarely speak to the one who is divorced. Since she went through that she started spiraling downhill and getting into some pretty destrutive things. On top of everything she is a insulin dependant diabetic. We have been friends for about 3 or 4 years I guess. She has always kind of been border line wild, but that was just her personality. Because of her life now I have had to distance myself from her only being there to listen since I have enough to worry about on my own. After her divorce she had a nice apartment that was her's, a decent job and custody of her son. But she was dating this stupid man that was still married. Well he dumped her and I think she started there. She got fired from her job, lost her apartment, lost custody of her son and moved in with another guy about 10 years her junior. He seemed nice enough until I learned that last year he molested her son. She kicked him out but was still going from job to job and ended up losing his apartment too, in the meantime she had already grabbed on to another man who I just found out recently has a long history of domestic violence and has already beat the crap out of her. The whole weekend we kept getting calls from this one place several times a day. Eventually yesterday I just answered it to see what the deal was. It was her calling from jail. Wanting me to bail her out. I told her that I couldn't and have been really struggling morally over this, I feel that while no one should have to sit in jail, with all that she has done to people that she needs it as a wake up call. She asked to call her ex husband to see if he would bail her out of which I let a message with him. He called back and relayed all of this stuff that she has done, stolen money from him, went home to North Dakota and stole money from her parents. Writing and cashing their checks with out their consent. She has gotten a DUI and twice or three times been pulled over for driving with a suspended license. I feel that she has burned so many bridges she has no way out or anywhere to go. But she will not think of her needs and what she needs to do to get straight. I really suspect that she is doing drugs and that she is going to end up dead somewhere. I fully realize that she has to want to make the changes herself or nothing will work, but it really hurts my heart to watch her do this to herself, family and friends. I know that she is completely capable of taking care of herself and doing the right thing, I think more thats why she is probably on drugs impeeding her ability to choose whats right and wrong. I know that basically there is nothing I can do but sit by idley and watch her destroy herself, but I was thinking of an intervention or something. I don't know how I would go about doing something like that or if it works with people who may not be on drugs(like I said I really don't know). Has anyone else gone through something like this? How did you handle it? Thanks I needed to vent that.
latesleeper Posted April 6, 2005 Posted April 6, 2005 hey lostgirl26, sorry to hear about your dilemma. i wonder if there is some family or welfare society that can help intervene? it sounds like she needs serious help, and you certainly haven't the resources to handle this on your own. she really needs help. if she doesn't want to get it, perhaps you can find out how you can get it for her? someone or some organisation who can really do something practical and have the resources to follow-up and enforce treatment/rehab. don't take it upon yourself to "save" her. try and do what you can, within your emotional and physical power, and that's all you can do. it doesn't help to have you crash and burn with her. good luck.
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