Sunspt Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 Hallo, I've been flirting and dating a 32y woman for almost 3 months. I've got soon the feeling that she is a deeply sensitive, independet and conflictual woman. I've used a lot of humor and determination, never kissed her ass and the attitude between us was of "collaborative teasing" and sharing a lot of interests. She acted really aloof and a couple of times told me "sorry for being a cold , I hope you don't hate me. But I like you too". This woman has many issues with the past and her present like job, experiences... common things we all have. She pushed a little bit to cook for me (on my birthday!) and we were finally alone at her place. Of course we talked a lot of personal things. I excaleted for some kissing. It did not work and she was completely cold and stuck. I wrote later to her that I'm not in for temporary or casual things. So I asked her to stop dating. She replied that she is not either for causal things and that she hopedto be friends after all, since ita woudl have been a shame to lose me. At this point I was upset and screwed up sending many messages. First I said that she could not be always so mistrustful and guess things about my intentions and that I tried to show her I want to go slow and have a connection. Then I asked repeatedly to talk and stated how i like her, appreciate her sensitivity. I also asked her to stay and talk. So, I did the bull pushy way. Her reply was really hard and dramatic: "I won't ever have feelings for you, it is difficult for me either. So please move on and don't waste your energies on me. I need my peace. You deserve a woman that feels the same for you. Do not write me." I have the feeling that this woman was slowly coming closer to me but I scared her off. I respect her words and I'll do no contact for at least 2 weeks. Since we work for the same holding (but for 2 different companies), I'm thinking to get connected again with a slow colleague-like approach without tension, requests and with some humor. I am aware that such situations have almost 0% possibility to recover. I would appreciate your opinions. Thanks to all. Peace, Simon.
Snaggletooth Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 What a woman says and what a woman does are often completely different things. Start to detach your feelings and leave her alone. If she likes you she'll come back. If not, at least you won't have wasted any more of your time and energies. 1
Yookie Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 When someone says, "I wont ever have feelings for you" that a pretty good indicator that you should never try to rekindle the relationship. If you try to connect with her at work she will think you're being stalker-ish and may report you to HR.
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