LookAtThisPOst Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 There's a friend of mine, 50 yrs old, that I think may be the ones some of us here complain about when it comes to online dating...or even real life. He's had a pattern of stories not "jiving" as he would some how rationalize his lack of success with women. Recently, I think he met a woman online that lived locally. She was the one that contacted him, she was around 54 years old (mid-50s). She was trying to arrange a meet n greet on a Sunday, as his Saturday was filled up (last Sat.) So she wanted to meet up with him on Sunday. He said he had an obligation to a male friend of his to move some household goods and wasn't really sure if would be able to do the meet on Sunday or be able to do them both at least. He was telling me that this was a texting session that was going on back and forth while he was working in the yard, but left his phone inside, so each time she texted...it would take 2 to 3 hrs for him to respond because he'd be working in the yard for a couple of hours, coming back in...see the message and only respond at that moment. He considers texting a "passive" form of communication and not something you sit through during the duration of the conversation. Well, she wound up getting frustrating with his delays at trying to arrange a meet...and expessed it in her final text in a polite fashion. Something like "Well, I can tell by your lack of response, you're not interested...so I wish you well on your search" And he responded back, "Well, if you had the patience to give me a chance to respond...as I was working in the yard and coming back to the phone." I was wondering why he didn't tell her , "Hey, I'm working in the yard, so there'll be delays in my response." in the first place?" I also asked, "So since you weren't sure about getting together on Sunday, didn't you offer an alternative day after Sunday?" After a pause on the phone...(I was talking to him) His response, "I wasn't thinking that far ahead." An "ah-ha" moment, it's funny, because he used to be the one giving ME the dating advice, but now the tables have turned. Funny, I would always come up with a simple solution or entertain something obvious to him, and it would seem a bit put off by it. Some of it is just common sense. It was like he kept dragging his feet or being wishy washy with this woman for whatever reason. So for those of you who come on here (including me) complaining why someone online is dragging their feet or being put off due to lack of interest...well there you have it!... Usually, I would entertain it in a question form as to not to sound overly harsh by saying, "Oh, well....don't you think you could have done this or that." Personally though, I think he's not interested in dating in general and if he does TRY to date...his urgency to even partake in the effort is quite lacking so he'd be best by doing these women a favor by taking a break from dating. Anyhow, you know people like this? Do you kind of figure out from their conversations that are in their defense, you can kind of figure out BOTH sides of the story and when you ask, "Well, couldn't you have.......etc, etc etc" and they'd make an excuse for that or it would sound like you hit on something there? He would never admit, "Yeah, maybe I should've done that" but he would never fess up.
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