Revolver Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 All the men I know who have baby mothers go back and have sex with them anytime they want, whether those women are in committed relationships or not
Rko28 Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 My mum is a single parent, brought me up more or less by herself and now is a foster carer helping single mothers who cant do a good as job as she did raising children. If I end up with someone have a good as my mum with her morals, kindness and caring then I will have done well in this life. So yes, they are worth dating. 4
AVarma Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 Not for me at least. Some of the hottest women I know are single moms. I mean I assume that's how they ended up single moms! 2
Andy_K Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 All the men I know who have baby mothers go back and have sex with them anytime they want, whether those women are in committed relationships or not I had an ex who accused me of doing this. The accusations didn't stop until my kid's mum moved in with a new guy. In my opinion, the biggest problem for parents dating is simply the incorrect assumptions generally made about them, male or female.
Timshel Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 Lots of posts stating that many single moms are promiscuous or having casual sex. I only know one other single mom besides myself. So I don't have any reference except she and I. She is a high powered career woman and she never talks about being with men. I have not had sex since I became a single mom 2 yrs. ago. Is this really true that most single moms are viewed as easy or promiscuous? Is it a stereotype or a substantiated reality?
elaine567 Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 Everyone has their own idea of their perfect date. People come complete with their own issues and sometimes it is best everyone to look at those issues and decide if that is the type of person they want to date. Some women will not date a man who is a father - kids and an ex wife to contend with. Some women will not date men who have ex-wives or who have been in long term relationships - too many complications with exes, or the ex has put her stamp on where he lives, his friends, his relatives etc... Some women will not date anyone who is unemployed, who doesn't have a plan, who doesn't want to get married, etc. Some women will not date men who do not have a degree, men who have little education, men who are in low paid employment, etc. etc. I am not sure why this thread is then specifically encouraging the dissing of single women with children. 1
clevelander321 Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 Lots of posts stating that many single moms are promiscuous or having casual sex. I only know one other single mom besides myself. So I don't have any reference except she and I. She is a high powered career woman and she never talks about being with men. I have not had sex since I became a single mom 2 yrs. ago. Is this really true that most single moms are viewed as easy or promiscuous? Is it a stereotype or a substantiated reality? I would agree single moms are probably easier as a group. Women like sex as well, and many of them do not have much free time. So when they are free, and can land a date, they can either have sex, or wait 2 more weeks for a second date. (usually every other weekend without the kids). By that time the guy has moved on, found someone else, or just busy. They simply cannot fit a lot of dates into a short time period.
Timshel Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 I would agree single moms are probably easier as a group. Women like sex as well, and many of them do not have much free time. So when they are free, and can land a date, they can either have sex, or wait 2 more weeks for a second date. (usually every other weekend without the kids). By that time the guy has moved on, found someone else, or just busy. They simply cannot fit a lot of dates into a short time period. This is something that ends up being kind of important to me because it has effected my every day life. I can relate to No Limit's mom who lost friends and was shunned by married women afraid she would become a magical siren who lured their husbands. I do need to understand the reality of these perceptions; I lost friends after my husband passed for the same reasons. This thread is opening my eyes to opinions about single moms and some are very negative. In order to handle my social/business life, it is best I pay attention. It was really hurtful and confusing when my women friends abandoned me. Also, I need to be wary of intentions/assumptions of men about me being a single mom. Thank you clevelander321 2
BluEyeL Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 My son (resulted from my 14 years marriage) turned 13 yo today and I am in a serious relationship. It is harder to date when you have kids. The more kids, the harder. I admit that I am grateful that my boyfriend doesn't have kids. Men without kids that I met did express me having a kid as a reservation they had initially and I think it's well founded. But not because I'm promiscuous or anything like that. It's just a responsibility, limits freedom for the dating couple, and the success of the relationship impacts the children. I know that for me, the current relationship is the only chance until my son goes to college. If the relationship ends (really hope not) I will not be able to date again for a few good years, until I am 48 yo. Do not want to bring someone else in our family if this fails. If the kids are pre-teens is the hardest. They take a long time to accept the new partner. It's not smooth. if the other partner also has kids is even harder, more layers of complications. Once they become teenagers it gets a bit easier. Young kids get attached and suffer if the relationship ends. It's complicated. But if you are willing and committed and know how to navigate these things, you can be successful. I'm going to my therapist, who is also a family therapist, when I have questions about how to pace things, what to do in certain situations etc. I'm educating myself and try to make informed decisions. We've never had problems yet. My son is slow to warm up to the idea of having someone else around (although he likes him as a person) but the communication is open and we didn't have any incidents so far. Fingers crossed. 1
Timshel Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 BluEyeL- My kids are 9 & 11. I am 46. I'm not dating and not trying to. I agree that any person my children are exposed to would be a big deal. If I do start dating someone, it would be a long time and be very serious before I would introduce them to my children. My life is so full without dating in the mix that I will remain single indefinitely. It freaked me out some to hear single mothers referred to essentially as over-sexed hussies. LOL. Oversexed me I don't have a low sex drive but I also have never been sexually attracted to or active with someone I wasn't in love with. The way to off my pants works top to bottom. Head-Heart-.... Being on LS has made me aware of how sheltered my life has been so far and how naive I am. I am a smart woman but not experienced or worldly. So it's a good thing I'm on here getting an education about things in a safe way. I may be annoying to some though who would expect more savvy. Something tells me if I read up on this site I will learn; lots already. I hope all stays well with your love. 1
BluEyeL Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 BluEyeL- My kids are 9 & 11. I am 46. I'm not dating and not trying to. I agree that any person my children are exposed to would be a big deal. If I do start dating someone, it would be a long time and be very serious before I would introduce them to my children. My life is so full without dating in the mix that I will remain single indefinitely. It freaked me out some to hear single mothers referred to essentially as over-sexed hussies. LOL. Oversexed me I don't have a low sex drive but I also have never been sexually attracted to or active with someone I wasn't in love with. The way to off my pants works top to bottom. Head-Heart-.... Being on LS has made me aware of how sheltered my life has been so far and how naive I am. I am a smart woman but not experienced or worldly. So it's a good thing I'm on here getting an education about things in a safe way. I may be annoying to some though who would expect more savvy. Something tells me if I read up on this site I will learn; lots already. I hope all stays well with your love. I'll be honest and say that diving into the dating pool after a long marriage, and when you have kids, is almost scary at this point. You have to be very careful what and who you bring into their lives. I only had one partner before I started dating, at 41, so I had no idea of how to do anything, and it's been very hard. I think finding love at our age, with children, is doable, but difficult!! It was hard and I approached it like a very serious project, it takes determination, very high self esteem, and flexibility. I read, I went to therapy and I even had a dating coach. So far so good, but not gonna start again, this is it. I do not blame you for feeling that way about how people see single moms. The secret to your happiness is not to care. You know who you are and people will always be mean, stupid and judgmental. They do it just to feel better about themselves, it's not about you. Ignore them and surround yourself with true friends. If your decision is not to embark on a dating journey, that is probably the best decision for your children. I was more selfish and wanted to give it a shot. 1
wb1988 Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 (edited) after 4 years half the kids life I had bonded with her, but the mother when she moved to the next guy just blacked out and stole the money I put in the kids bank account. Due to the moms health problems at times I was so involved I felt like a single father. What a rip. Not all single moms are trash but a lot of them are. Yeah there is this guy that at my work that has had the same problem, when the single mom left him he ended up being like a single dad and the girl eats up all his time and money. I'm the only guy at my work that isn't divorced, have kids of any sort or has any family issues which is why I'm always on guard about stuff like this, dating a single mom is like joining someone on their way down. 3. "You're not my real dad." I'm out. I would just laugh if I ever saw something like that. Good on you btw for having standards and keeping your ground. As an American living in the UK I see that most British guys in your situation are unfortunately quite the opposite. Why, moreover, do you use the qualifier "white"? Is there some other kind of trash you are implying is default trash? The label is associated to the distinct things that their 'trash' community is known for. Examples: White trash: bad tattoos, acrylic heels, leopard print, crystal meth, obesity. Asian trash: cutting husband's dick off, bleached blonde hair, colored contacts Mexian trash: having so many kids that you give some away. Ghetto trash: gold teeth, spinning alloy rims, oversized clothes. Arab trash: drenched in synthetic cologne. Edit: Btw my comment isn't racist because I made fun of all the races I'm seeing someone with a kid. Congrats, you're such a lucky guy. If I end up with someone have a good as my mum with her morals, kindness and caring then I will have done well in this life. So yes, they are worth dating. We're not debating if single moms are good or bad moms, the topic is about dating a single mom. A kind and caring mom doesn't mean that she'll be a kind and caring gf/wife. Some women will not date a man who is a father The big difference is that being with a single mom the baby is always around in some way, with a single dad it's only on the weekends if that. Edited February 17, 2015 by wb1988
elaine567 Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 (edited) The big difference is that being with a single mom the baby is always around in some way, with a single dad it's only on the weekends if that. Yes, but some men do have full custody and some men are widowers. A family member of mine, was left with 5 kids at 35, when his wife died. Edited February 17, 2015 by elaine567 1
Timshel Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 wb1988- I don't understand your pursuit of degrading a woman raising children on her own. Are you being harassed by a single mother? Are you feeling pressure in some way to date a single mom? Your bitterness in general toward a woman with children implies there is something happening in your life that upsets you. If you don't want to date a single mom, don't. What complicates this for you? 2
darkbloom Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 This is literally the best thing I have read all night. DON'T CENSOR ME EGGPLANT. DYING. 2
Gary S Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 Although it's more ideal to have children when you are married, unplanned pregnancy does not mean she's a bad person. It's a biological function, and she brought a soul into the world to love her and be loved.... it's that really a major crime? Really?! Seriously?! Judge not lest ye be judged. 2
NGC1300 Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 I haven't read this whole thread but imo there's no excuse for having a kid before age 25. It may have been fine in the 19th or even mid 20th century, but these days it's just women letting any old d-bag knock them up and then they will tell you the kids are their "whole world" and how the father was a d-bag and in no way, shape, or form is she responsible for her actions. Single mom in her 40's is fine as long as she has some class. Single mom in her 20's or 30's I'd stay away.
NGC1300 Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 Wow, really? Birth control is not 100% and also...it takes two to tango so to speak. It's not 100% but it's actually pretty damn close. I always get a kick out of people who try to blame failed birth control on the proliferation of young single moms. Was the dad just as irresponsible? YES, but as a male I'm not looking to date the man.
kendahke Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 I haven't read this whole thread but imo there's no excuse for having a kid before age 25. It may have been fine in the 19th or even mid 20th century, but these days it's just women letting any old d-bag knock them up and then they will tell you the kids are their "whole world" and how the father was a d-bag and in no way, shape, or form is she responsible for her actions. Single mom in her 40's is fine as long as she has some class. Single mom in her 20's or 30's I'd stay away. Dang, your picker doesn't work very well if this is what you're attracting.
SmartDude Posted February 21, 2015 Posted February 21, 2015 Dating a single mother is ok in my book. I would only date them in special circumstances though. One hard rule is that we would not move in together. If she accepted that, and did not put me in the role of parent, It would be no prob. I don't have any kids for a reason. I want to be free and live my own life. There is no obligation for me to have children. The last time I checked we have a serious overpopulation problem here on the planet. Will need to increase food production tech just so that we won't have a massive die-off of humans. A woman that is only focused on her children can just find someone with more in common...A single dad.
Recommended Posts