xraychick01 Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 My bf and I have been together 3 years. Every year for vday he's gotten me flowers. I've never expressed to him that I expect anything for this day, although it's nice to get flowers This year I got nothing. No flowers, no card, just a happy valentine's day. I can't help but feel sad and upset. I got him a card...I didn't even get that in return. I feel bad about feeling bad...should I? Should I say something to him? I don't even know how I'd approach it without feeling petty. I guess it comes down to feeling appreciated and knowing that he's thinking of me on this day and getting flowers every other vday in the past sets me up for certain expectations.
TigerCub Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 I don't think you're being petty. If he did something sweet before, then it is disappointing that he didn't keep on doing sweet things later. Other than the Vday incident, how is the relationship going? I ask because him not getting flowers might be upsetting you more if there are other reason to make you feel unappreciated. Overall though, I think 3 years is too soon for him to start slacking on vday. Other than the card this year, what have you done for him on Valentines the past 2 years (and I mean other than sex ) ? Edit to add: Personally I love flowers from a bf on any random day other than Valentines, but I do like some sweet acknowledgement from my man (when I have one) on Valentines.
Author xraychick01 Posted February 15, 2015 Author Posted February 15, 2015 Well, this is has been our vdays in the past. He sends me flowers at work and we either go out to dinner or I make him dinner. The very first vday we spent together I made a gift of words I found in magazines, news papers, etc that reminded me of him/us and framed it. We have hit a little rough patch in our relationship recently and I suspect that's the reason. I've just been really upset about it and part of me feels like I have a reason and the other part feels like I should just get over it as it's just vday.
TigerCub Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 Well, this is has been our vdays in the past. He sends me flowers at work and we either go out to dinner or I make him dinner. The very first vday we spent together I made a gift of words I found in magazines, news papers, etc that reminded me of him/us and framed it. We have hit a little rough patch in our relationship recently and I suspect that's the reason. I've just been really upset about it and part of me feels like I have a reason and the other part feels like I should just get over it as it's just vday. Thanks for answering. Sorry to hear that you guys have hit a rough patch, but that does explain why his Vday neglect is stinging and it makes you think that obviously this rough patch is affecting you guys and causing more lack or romance. You don't have to go into details on it if you don't want to, but have you guys been addressing this rough patch? Is it something that you think you 2 can work through and resolve?
LostOnes05 Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 Even in a rough patch, if he still considers you his girlfriend he should still give you a gift. That's a pretty clear sign to me. Sorry you're going thru a tough time.
Author xraychick01 Posted February 15, 2015 Author Posted February 15, 2015 Thanks for answering. Sorry to hear that you guys have hit a rough patch, but that does explain why his Vday neglect is stinging and it makes you think that obviously this rough patch is affecting you guys and causing more lack or romance. You don't have to go into details on it if you don't want to, but have you guys been addressing this rough patch? Is it something that you think you 2 can work through and resolve? Yes, I think the rough patch has made this sting a bit more. We have addressed things and both feel it's something we can work on and resolve. We both want to be with each other.
Author xraychick01 Posted February 15, 2015 Author Posted February 15, 2015 Even in a rough patch, if he still considers you his girlfriend he should still give you a gift. That's a pretty clear sign to me. Sorry you're going thru a tough time. Thank you.
TigerCub Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 Yes, I think the rough patch has made this sting a bit more. We have addressed things and both feel it's something we can work on and resolve. We both want to be with each other. Yaaay! The good news here is that you guys are communicating and both want to be with the other. That is awesome. Hopefully you'll completely work through the rough patch and the next Valentines will be an awesome romantic one! Besides, once you guys work everything out, you'll have romantic days that don't need any occasion.
Gloria25 Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 Well, if you're in a rough patch from what I heard guys tend to "forget" things like flowers on V-day, B-day, and all that. I mean, I had a guy ask me one time if he should still have the kids do something for mommy on M-day cuz they were divorced. Mind you, it was far from an amicable divorce. But still, if he didn't get something for you and he normally did then maybe he's a bit upset. I learned the hard way with women (my mum, gfs and sometimes myself) that you HAVE to get them something cuz even when they say they don't want something, they get upset if you don't do anything. Like I don't "expect" anything for me, but if I don't even tell me "Happy B-day" then I'm like ok...But then, I remember what I said I didn't want...Go figure
Sunlight72 Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 If you answered it, I missed it... What did you get/make/do for him for Valentine's Day this year? Valentine's Day is not the woman's second birthday, it's a day for both partners to show affection for each other. If you put in the effort, then it's a real drag he didn't. If you didn't put in the effort either, then you pretty much got what you gave. Sucks for you both. This is stated pretty bluntly, and is meant to be helpful if you want to ponder it. Two people contribute the good and the lazy and the bad, and if you're disappointed that you're getting out about what you're putting in, you are really being unfair and unrealistic. When I started to pay more attention to what I was putting in than what I was getting, I soon felt more confident and easy-hearted in my relationship. If I'm off base, I apologize. This just struck a chord with how I used to see my own relationship, and a difficult but rewarding change I made. Best Wishes. 1
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