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How do I rectify this mistake?


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Posted

I went on a date with a girl from POF. The date went decently well. We talked about dating experiences and culture. She asked me what I think of her and I said that I think she's smart, laid back, open-minded, and pretty. I emphasized that open-mindedness is something that really appeals to me. She said she thinks I'm interesting, intelligent, tall, handsome and that I really value women for their personality. However, I messed up soon after. The bill was much more expensive than I expected and I asked her to split it. I know that I should have paid. I'm not strapped for cash but I have been spending a lot recently and I went on a date with some other girl a month ago and spent a hefty sum of money, only to have her ignore me. So, I was a little reluctant to spend a lot of money on this new girl. From hindsight, I still think I should have paid. I texted her afterwards saying :

Me : I'd love to elope to an African village with a stable internet connection and a great view of sunsets along a river. Do you know any takers lol?

Her : Lol that sounds nice

Me : Any luck with your zipper? (It broke during the date)

Her : Still broken... It's dead

Me : Am I tall enough for ya btw lol?

Her : Nice height lol

Posted

Terrible.

 

It sounds like your a student, or the type that takes dates to places he can't afford (or both). She mentioned personality? Is she unattractive?

 

Everyone knows the typical POF steps. You meetup at starbucks/costa first. 1st date is at an okay restaurant (no more than £60/$100 for both, you always pay) or something similar but certainly not more expensive.

 

Things are so cut & loose and flaky these days it's like your treating these women like your middle-aged divorced dating women in their 40's, but judging by your conversation your probably a student or early 20's.

 

The next time you ask her out mention "it's my treat" to make it clear that you're paying.

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Posted

So, you think my chances with her are salvageable ?

Posted

Well ...

 

I don't think this one is unsalvageable. Have you properly followed-up and asked her out again? It's impossible to know what she's thinking based on that text exchange. It may not be a deal breaker for her, but if you feel you messed up, then you need to make it explicitly clear that you'll treat her next time. If I were out with a guy and he asked me to split a large dinner bill at the end of date one, I would assume he wasn't that interested.

 

In the future, if you want to go splitsies on date one, go to coffee or something cheap. Or, take her somewhere you know isn't going to creep up into unaffordable territory.

Posted

Don't follow up with any more what do you think of ME? type texts.

Say you really had a great time and ask her out again and make sure you have enough money to pay for it.

  • Author
Posted

Can I get some second date ideas?

Posted

Paypal her the money she spent.

Posted

OP, if money is an issue, do something free/cheap. A lot of museums are cheap or free some days. Are there any cultural festivals around where you live? Take her to an art house movie theater and go see something in black and white. Take some pastels to a coffee shop and draw together.

  • Author
Posted
Don't follow up with any more what do you think of ME? type texts.

Say you really had a great time and ask her out again and make sure you have enough money to pay for it.

 

Is the fact that she's been texting me back a good sign? Also, can I get some second date ideas?

Posted
Is the fact that she's been texting me back a good sign? Also, can I get some second date ideas?

 

Dude, already did:

 

OP, if money is an issue, do something free/cheap. A lot of museums are cheap or free some days. Are there any cultural festivals around where you live? Take her to an art house movie theater and go see something in black and white. Take some pastels to a coffee shop and draw together.
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