DatingDirection Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 I've been noticing for a while now...i'm becoming more selective about the friends I choose. This is a good thing in my OP. However, with that being said, I've also noticed, the good friends, I once had, they either moved away, or got married, and busy with their own family, I still reach out to them, and let them know what great people they are. However, I've noticed, they don't reach out to me. I also noticed, while I express how wonderful they are, I don't get a response, or they have nothing really to say to me, i.e your a great friend too, I value our friendship etc. Please note, I would never say anything to anyone in order to get something in return. However, there response, and lack of response, makes me feel unvaluable to them. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 I've been noticing for a while now...i'm becoming more selective about the friends I choose. This is a good thing in my OP. However, with that being said, I've also noticed, the good friends, I once had, they either moved away, or got married, and busy with their own family, I still reach out to them, and let them know what great people they are. However, I've noticed, they don't reach out to me. I also noticed, while I express how wonderful they are, I don't get a response, or they have nothing really to say to me, i.e your a great friend too, I value our friendship etc. Please note, I would never say anything to anyone in order to get something in return. However, there response, and lack of response, makes me feel unvaluable to them. Circumstances change as you point out and people simply don't have as much time to reach out as they once did. It doesn't mean they don't care for or value you. My best friend (who is single and childless) said the same to me a while back (about friend's not caring). Then on Friday before valentine's day she was sent a beautiful plant to her workplace, she contacted me and asked if it was me, when I told her it wasn't she sat there and went though all the people who could've or might have sent it and realised that she really does have a load of people who love her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 I've been noticing for a while now...i'm becoming more selective about the friends I choose. This is a good thing in my OP. However, with that being said, I've also noticed, the good friends, I once had, they either moved away, or got married, and busy with their own family, I still reach out to them, and let them know what great people they are. However, I've noticed, they don't reach out to me. I also noticed, while I express how wonderful they are, I don't get a response, or they have nothing really to say to me, i.e your a great friend too, I value our friendship etc. Please note, I would never say anything to anyone in order to get something in return. However, there response, and lack of response, makes me feel unvaluable to them. Once people are ensconced in marriages, then often old or single friends become unimportant, as the marriage and the kids become the focus. They make other friends with other wives and other mothers locally, or the family itself becomes all encompassing and they have no time for anyone else. You may find you get wheeled out to show the new baby off to, or to attend christenings, birthday parties and marriages, if they need to make up the numbers. It is not you. It is them. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalShine2011 Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 I agree with the above - it's not you, it's them! Link to post Share on other sites
sportygirl89 Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 (edited) I had to give up the last of my friends minus one of my good friends from hometown and my best friend from college. I started going back to church and actually realized I didn't need all the drama and negativity certain friendships bring. Its sad it took a sermon to give me the strength to pull the plug on certain toxic friendships. I have two friends I can rely on 24/7. I am getting to know more people via the social group the church has. If someone doesn't put in the time to your friendship, they aren't worth it (unless it's a really good reason like they were in the hospital or something like that). I like I know my friends care about me, and these new people could potentially become my friends. Its kind of exciting! I envy Sex in the City series. I highly doubt that four girls could get along that well. Even you see Carrie and Miranda not talking in certain episodes. I know its probably highly unrealistic that four girls would be good friends (same social circle). Edited February 15, 2015 by sportygirl89 Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 I feel exactly the same. I've lost friends because my childless friends dumped me when I had a baby 14 months ago. Plus people taking sides and choosing a clique over me, people moving etc etc. I want to be a role model but I'm getting more cynical. Link to post Share on other sites
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