NJ123 Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 It seems it's always on my mind to want a girlfriend but it just makes me feel worse if it's constantly on my mind. I could go days without letting it affect me than it could hit me out of nowhere & obsess about it again. It's like an imaginary on & off switch for me.
Author NJ123 Posted February 14, 2015 Author Posted February 14, 2015 Get the **** off the internet lol that is definitely impossible to do since everything evolves around the internet these days. I don't think anyone under the age of 40 doesn't use the internet.
Arieswoman Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 NJ123, Magina was a bit blunt but he/she has a point. If you want to get a girlfriend you need to put yourself "out there". If you said a bit about how old your are, where you are in life college/school/work etc. what your interests are - we might be able to advise you better.
Mangina Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 lol that is definitely impossible to do since everything evolves around the internet these days. I don't think anyone under the age of 40 doesn't use the internet. I mean go out, stop spending so much time on here. Everyone uses the internet, but does not necessarily spend hours on here talking to people who seem out of touch with the real world. This place is not real, I just read this stuff for my amusement. It's like watching jerry springer. It's freezing cold outside right now, that is the only reason I'm on here. 3
Author NJ123 Posted February 14, 2015 Author Posted February 14, 2015 I mean go out, stop spending so much time on here. Everyone uses the internet, but does not necessarily spend hours on here talking to people who seem out of touch with the real world. This place is not real, I just read this stuff for my amusement. It's like watching jerry springer. It's freezing cold outside right now, that is the only reason I'm on here. This place does seem a bit over the top a lot of the time. Some of it is just way too far out there to actually be real. Some sections of this site are just depressing though. Like the cheating section & having affairs while married. And all the friends I have either live too far or are in relationship, so I don't know where I could meet people while out on my own.
Mangina Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 This place does seem a bit over the top a lot of the time. Some of it is just way too far out there to actually be real. Some sections of this site are just depressing though. Like the cheating section & having affairs while married. And all the friends I have either live too far or are in relationship, so I don't know where I could meet people while out on my own. This place is very strange. What you mentioned about the cheating affair stuff, there are no leagues, looks and money do not matter it is all about confidence, friends with benefits all over this thing like that is normal, people with 20,000 posts. I just don't know what to say. Try that meet up thing. I was looking on there earlier this week to see if I can meet more people. I have friends but it would be nice interact with others. Well I went outside for cigarette earlier and almost froze my ass off. So I'm not going anywhere today.
Arieswoman Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 OK NJ123, How old are you and what are you doing with your life at the moment? - apart from being here, of course? Who cares what all your friends are doing, let's concentrate on your life shall we? Give us bit more info and maybe we can point you in the right direction
Ethan78 Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 This is another thread about how you think isn't it? Try meditation. Nobody can control your mind apart from you.
alphamale Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 It seems it's always on my mind to want a girlfriend but it just makes me feel worse if it's constantly on my mind. I could go days without letting it affect me than it could hit me out of nowhere & obsess about it again. It's like an imaginary on & off switch for me. give it time, young jedi...give it time 2
Author NJ123 Posted February 14, 2015 Author Posted February 14, 2015 OK NJ123, How old are you and what are you doing with your life at the moment? - apart from being here, of course? Who cares what all your friends are doing, let's concentrate on your life shall we? Give us bit more info and maybe we can point you in the right direction Well let's see. Some physical traits for me. I'm in my late 20s, I'm 5'7". Have really short hair, hazel eyes. Go to the gym around 3x a week. I guess I consider myself to be in pretty decent shape & look pretty young for my age. As for what I'm doing I don't have a job at the moment since I quit my previous job months back since I was sick of being treated like ****. Also, as I've said in another thread I'm dealing with health issues that are holding me back quite a bit. I do have my associates degree in liberal arts since I didn't know what I wanted to take up at the time. Now I'm trying to figure out what I'd want to do, but I can't exactly figure out what I'd want to do for a serious career.
endlessabyss Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 Mangina is so on-point. This forum can be LaLa land, and does not match up with reality. It really should only be used for entertainment purposes, as well as venting about life sometimes. Half the advice given here is horrible and redundant, as well as predictable. The best thing to do is get out of the house, taking that testosterone in your body, and using it to conquer your fears, or whatever else is holding you back. Watch this guys stuff sometime:https://www.youtube.com/user/TruthOverEverything1 It will give you a better perspective on wasting your precious energy on dating, or women in general. 1
elaine567 Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 Watch this guys stuff sometime:https://www.youtube.com/user/TruthOverEverything1 It will give you a better perspective on wasting your precious energy on dating, or women in general. I think NJ123 is bitter enough anyway with out watching that rubbish. MGTOW "It's unclear if the movement has any power beyond "disgruntled douchebags talking sh*t about women (in general) on the Internet... Much of this is led by the destructive myth of the goodguy/badboy dichotomy. "Every woman said they wanted a nice guy so I was the good-guy who was meek and mild shy guy who was totally nice to girls and they just walked all over me, put me in the friend zone and went out and screwed badboys. I haven't had sex in 25 years. And now I'm just a useless man responsible for everything wrong in the universe". Or the badboy cliché "So I became a badboy and then bouncers would throw me out of dance clubs [or cooking class or I lost my job] because I ceaselessly harassed girls was hitting on chicks like all the girls secretly want to be hit on. If I keep it up I'll be accused of false rape and rot away in jail". Led by the delusion that a modern day man can only choose between two extremely one dimensional caricatures they fail at basic co-ed social interaction (led on by no shortage of greasy literature and PUA trolls) and decide that they cannot win in the modern world and should retire to their basements with porn and xbox."
Author NJ123 Posted February 14, 2015 Author Posted February 14, 2015 This is another thread about how you think isn't it? Try meditation. Nobody can control your mind apart from you. Well, what are you doing to help your own situation? That's not meant as an attack at all, I'm genuinely curious.
Author NJ123 Posted February 14, 2015 Author Posted February 14, 2015 I think NJ123 is bitter enough anyway with out watching that rubbish. MGTOW "It's unclear if the movement has any power beyond "disgruntled douchebags talking sh*t about women (in general) on the Internet... Much of this is led by the destructive myth of the goodguy/badboy dichotomy. "Every woman said they wanted a nice guy so I was the good-guy who was meek and mild shy guy who was totally nice to girls and they just walked all over me, put me in the friend zone and went out and screwed badboys. I haven't had sex in 25 years. And now I'm just a useless man responsible for everything wrong in the universe". Or the badboy cliché "So I became a badboy and then bouncers would throw me out of dance clubs [or cooking class or I lost my job] because I ceaselessly harassed girls was hitting on chicks like all the girls secretly want to be hit on. If I keep it up I'll be accused of false rape and rot away in jail". Led by the delusion that a modern day man can only choose between two extremely one dimensional caricatures they fail at basic co-ed social interaction (led on by no shortage of greasy literature and PUA trolls) and decide that they cannot win in the modern world and should retire to their basements with porn and xbox." If you don't have anything good to say, please leave my thread. I'm looking for suggestions to see what I can do, so you're not helping. 3
Ethan78 Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 Well, what are you doing to help your own situation? That's not meant as an attack at all, I'm genuinely curious. Good question. I have done therapy, meditation at home and a retreat for a week, acting classes, support groups, I have a mixture of paid and voluntary work, and hopefully another job interview coming up. I also go to the gym, sometimes go to sports clubs, and have made efforts at new hobbies like photography. You need to find work. I hate to say it abruptly, but a good job around people can take you out of your own thoughts, and help you be yourself. Not knowing what you want as a career is not a reason to stay at home. You could work part time in retail, or an office job. I'm not lecturing you it's just I made similar mistakes in my 20s. Sometimes deciding on a career leads to procrastination. Start now if you can. If you have low self-esteem it can be a very gradual process. 1
A O Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 Meeting someone is incredibly important but there are other things in life that can help lessen this importance. The more you have got going on in your life, the less important each individual element will be. Likewise, the less you have got going on then the more you will obsess over the thing that you really want the most. Thus, find other things to do, add more facets to your life and more dimensions to yourself. Oddly enough, the more interests you have, the higher the chances that you will actually run into what you really want anyway. 1
Author NJ123 Posted February 14, 2015 Author Posted February 14, 2015 OK NJ123, How old are you and what are you doing with your life at the moment? - apart from being here, of course? Who cares what all your friends are doing, let's concentrate on your life shall we? Give us bit more info and maybe we can point you in the right direction Also, forgot to add my interests to previous post. I like going to the gym. Watching sports, mainly basketball, tennis & boxing. Football as well sometimes. Of course watching movies. Almost all genres I like but action & horror are my favorite. I'm also not into drinking really. I only drink a few times a year, I don't handle alcohol well at all. I always feel really sick the day after I drink a lot. I'd only do for special occasions like a wedding or something from this point on.
Author NJ123 Posted February 14, 2015 Author Posted February 14, 2015 Good question. I have done therapy, meditation at home and a retreat for a week, acting classes, support groups, I have a mixture of paid and voluntary work, and hopefully another job interview coming up. I also go to the gym, sometimes go to sports clubs, and have made efforts at new hobbies like photography. You need to find work. I hate to say it abruptly, but a good job around people can take you out of your own thoughts, and help you be yourself. Not knowing what you want as a career is not a reason to stay at home. You could work part time in retail, or an office job. I'm not lecturing you it's just I made similar mistakes in my 20s. Sometimes deciding on a career leads to procrastination. Start now if you can. If you have low self-esteem it can be a very gradual process. Yeah, I've been trying to hold off on getting another job until I get can my health better. But it's hard when the doctors can't find out exactly what's wrong with me. Starting to lose hope I'll ever be 100% healthy again. And have you met any women at these places? Or are you mainly just focusing on yourself for the most part these days & just waiting for something to happen by chance?
Ethan78 Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 Yeah, I've been trying to hold off on getting another job until I get can my health better. But it's hard when the doctors can't find out exactly what's wrong with me. Starting to lose hope I'll ever be 100% healthy again. And have you met any women at these places? Or are you mainly just focusing on yourself for the most part these days & just waiting for something to happen by chance? I don't know what your condition is. With voluntary work they would be more understanding if you could not make it for a period of time I suppose. Your question is a good one again. It is probably better to think of hobbies / work as a practice ground, otherwise you just play into the existing tendency of your mind to focus on the opposite sex. There is nothing wrong with that for someone who is trying to increase their chances of meeting someone, but sometimes it is good to just socialise, and try to make conversation while being interested in the other person. There are women I could hit on, but in reality I have used it as a practice ground to try and be more sociable and less anxious about how I come across around people. Like I said it is gradual. As for the gym, if you are a boxing fan try a boxercise class, or kickboxing. That might be something interesting.
endlessabyss Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 I think NJ123 is bitter enough anyway with out watching that rubbish. MGTOW "It's unclear if the movement has any power beyond "disgruntled douchebags talking sh*t about women (in general) on the Internet... Much of this is led by the destructive myth of the goodguy/badboy dichotomy. "Every woman said they wanted a nice guy so I was the good-guy who was meek and mild shy guy who was totally nice to girls and they just walked all over me, put me in the friend zone and went out and screwed badboys. I haven't had sex in 25 years. And now I'm just a useless man responsible for everything wrong in the universe". Or the badboy cliché "So I became a badboy and then bouncers would throw me out of dance clubs [or cooking class or I lost my job] because I ceaselessly harassed girls was hitting on chicks like all the girls secretly want to be hit on. If I keep it up I'll be accused of false rape and rot away in jail". Led by the delusion that a modern day man can only choose between two extremely one dimensional caricatures they fail at basic co-ed social interaction (led on by no shortage of greasy literature and PUA trolls) and decide that they cannot win in the modern world and should retire to their basements with porn and xbox." Hmmm. I'd totally disagree with everything you put here. The link I provided was an excellent resource to understand why this chase for women can be futile, and how directing this energy in other endeavours can be an extremely powerful tool. Men need to realize that they have the greatest hormone running through their body (aka testosterone). If men would channel that energy into something other that dreaming about women and masturbating (to girls they'll never have, or even worse, to porn) they could move mountains, like other great men. It's really about self improvement/empowerment, and knowing that your confidence doesn't rely on your lay count, or what women think about you. 1
Author NJ123 Posted February 15, 2015 Author Posted February 15, 2015 I don't know what your condition is. With voluntary work they would be more understanding if you could not make it for a period of time I suppose. Your question is a good one again. It is probably better to think of hobbies / work as a practice ground, otherwise you just play into the existing tendency of your mind to focus on the opposite sex. There is nothing wrong with that for someone who is trying to increase their chances of meeting someone, but sometimes it is good to just socialise, and try to make conversation while being interested in the other person. There are women I could hit on, but in reality I have used it as a practice ground to try and be more sociable and less anxious about how I come across around people. Like I said it is gradual. As for the gym, if you are a boxing fan try a boxercise class, or kickboxing. That might be something interesting. Yeah, I don't know exactly what the issue is. I thought it was some sort of TMJ issue but my MRI came back normal. Just trying to figure it out. But it's causing me so many awful symptoms. And yeah, I wouldn't want to date a co-worker anyway unless we were in separate areas where we barely see each other during work hours. Since if something goes wrong than I'd have to still see them everyday & it would be so awkward.
elaine567 Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 It's really about self improvement/empowerment, and knowing that your confidence doesn't rely on your lay count, or what women think about you. I agree with that totally, if that is what it is about but their FB page contains quite a lot of negative stuff re women,and that is putting it mildly. The criticism of MGTOW was not my own words hence the inverted commas - I just forgot to put the link - Men Going Their Own Way - RationalWiki
endlessabyss Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 I agree with that totally, if that is what it is about but their FB page contains quite a lot of negative stuff re women,and that is putting it mildly. The criticism of MGTOW was not my own words hence the inverted commas - I just forgot to put the link - Men Going Their Own Way - RationalWiki That link provides false information of what MGTOW really is; a total strawman. Reading the first line is enough to already discount the rest. MGTOW has nothing to do with MRA's. Plus, it's rationalwiki. A horrible, and biased source, for information. 2
Mangina Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 That link provides false information of what MGTOW really is; a total strawman. Reading the first line is enough to already discount the rest. MGTOW has nothing to do with MRA's. Plus, it's rationalwiki. A horrible, and biased source, for information. MGTOW is women's worst nightmare. Especially feminist. That is why they react the way they do. 1
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