jakezk Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 my gf and i broke up but i need advice I'm sorry this is so long but I'm giving a little back story to help you understand what was going on....me and my gf have been together for over 3 years and lately we haven't been seeing each other much nether of us wants to hang out much and really its my fault because i work long hours but i started feeling like we have grown apart because we want different futures, i wanted us when we got married to see the world and have fun as a couple but she only wanted to have a baby, she said vacations are pointless and she never wants to work and she never wants to see the world she wants to just be a stay at home mom thats her dream, well i i dont like that then we can't agree on religion and i backed down and told her i was over it when i wasn't and then brought it up like an ideot i can't stand her family her dads a filthy abusive drunk who left them and her mom stalks him and makes my gf stalk him and her brothers a satinets who got a girl pregnant multiple time and just leaves the kids with her mom and her all the time and i thought i could get past all that but then she started being with her mom all the time and inviting her to hang out with us and is completely dependent on her and i told her i think we may be growning apart and I'm having mixed feelings and she blew a fuze and said she never trusted me and that she bets I'm seeing another girl and all this was a game i was playing and made me decide right three if i want to be with her or not and after all that and the way she talked and saying i used her i ended it and she said she never wants to see me or be friends she's not going to give me a second chance and she's going to move in with her mom in mexico and be gone forever, and i feel like i don't want to get back together with her because of the disagreements and what she said and accused me of but i can't stop missing her i see her when i sleep and i can't sleep because of it i can't watch tv or relax without breaking down from missing her and all i think about is what we had and how i messed up and i feel like its all my fault and idk what to do! do these crazy mixed feeling go away i know ill never get her back and idk if i want her back i want to go live my life now but my heart wants to explode because she's bringing back everything i ever gave her and made her and she even gave me the promise ring i gave her and said i can give it to the girl I'm supposedly cheating on her with! any advice what i should do I'm so confused and hurt its killing me LITTERALY, i aint slept nore eaten since early yesterday when we broke up
Frank2thepoint Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 My first advice for you, is please learn to write a proper sentence. Use paragraphs too. They are everybody's friend. That post was just a jumbled headache to read. but i started feeling like we have grown apart because we want different futures, i wanted us when we got married to see the world and have fun as a couple but she only wanted to have a baby, she said vacations are pointless and she never wants to work and she never wants to see the world she wants to just be a stay at home mom thats her dream This right here is the biggest and loudest indicator you guys are not compatible. You both have different ideas and expectations. Neither of you are right for each other. Continuing in this relationship is a waste of time for you both. Sure you miss her, and have feelings for her, but you know very well it's not going to last. The whole topic still bothers you. Try to imagine your life with her. You'll be miserable. Reading your story, I imagined myself dating your girlfriend and I felt miserable. i told her i think we may be growning apart and I'm having mixed feelings and she blew a fuze and said she never trusted me and that she bets I'm seeing another girl and all this was a game i was playing and made me decide right three if i want to be with her or not and after all that and the way she talked and saying i used her i ended it and she said she never wants to see me or be friends she's not going to give me a second chance She's emotionally abusive and manipulative. The reason why you miss her is because you are trying to prove yourself to her. She does a lot of push-pull behavior where she mistreats you, but on a rare occasion treats you nice, as some reward. You are allowing yourself to be stuck in this vicious cycle. You need to find a way to break out of it. Go for some walks, hang out with friends, exercise, or just cry in bed. Either way, be grateful your relationship ended, and give yourself time to heal, and get over her.
StanMusial Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 You sure convinced me that you're now better off. Imagine marrying into that family.... Now THAT would make me lose sleep due to nightmares.
spiderowl Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. I'm sure many of us have been there, me included, and it's extremely painful. There were obviously lots of tensions in your relationship with your girlfriend and, from the sound of it, it was only a matter of time before something blew up. You were unhappy about a lot of things in her life. It's hard for me to tell whether it was because they took her time away from you or because they were just awful situations you didn't want anything to do with. Either way, you wanted more attention and affection from her, less of her family, and you didn't get this. You say you don't really want her back with all that was wrong. That is your guiding star. In the midst of the pain, remember that this happened for a reason, your dissatisfaction with the relationship. Getting back together is unlikely to improve the relationship. This is a time for adjusting to being on your own again. I know it hurts and you can barely believe you are in this situation, but talk to friends (or a counsellor ideally), someone who understands. Accept that this would almost certainly have happened and that even if you got together again, it's only a matter of time before it happens again. You could find another relationship. Best not to immediately, but bear in mind that it's possible, that a new life with a better relationship is possible now. You will still have pangs and nights of crying, but it will gradually get better.
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