GET IT ON Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 Hi new here .. my story.. short form married 18 years didnt work out .. went 3 years no dateing was looked up on fb by old childhood sh was going through divorce wanted to meet up didnt want a relationship but we fell in love 2 years... divorce final 4 months ago she said alll the right stuff we both did has child wanted to be sure if i met him that she wasnt going to parade alot of guys through so she finally let me meet him plus the family blablah feeeling like wow im in ... got along super no problems shes a badge girl family money not her but gets help especially after divorce... pitty party.. goes on exotic trips with family and takes the son hes 9 btw.. what she says or said... dont want financial help from a man dont want to rely on anyone wants to do it herself never had to worry about living exspenses when she was married feels overwhelmed by new responsabilities .. about me... i was a musician most of my life no money trouble untill i stopped playing after my divorce back with dad .. lost my car an ok job with family .. just still trying to rebuild my life back up again.. fast forward she new this i told the truth she still said it dont matter you love me like no other you dont need money blah blah .. she picked me up we had 200.00 dollar dinners all the time great sex good laughs all was perfect.. UNTIL... about6 months ago she started with need my space all that **** said ok she had no alone time all about kid work new responsabilities etc i get it i gave it to her no problem... then it happened she says i want to experiance new things date all that stuff ok i said .. she says we will still be friends im like ok fwb she says yes.... hmmm did that for a couple of weeks got in a bs little tiff ... she takes me home i hop on a plane to fla to stay with mom i aint comming back she goes crazy next day hunts me down calls family crying on phone msg 2 days nc i call back she says now what after a long talk convinces me to come back home im all she wants blah blah i come home she is awsome never saw her act this way before im like nice... its fixed ..... nope 3weeks later same **** other people were broken up now so its not cheating blh blah .... wtf i came home from fla.... damn... so to wrap this up ... her final reasons were i havent found a job yet 3 weeks back no car still nothing changed (do have trans that i could use anytime via family cars and work trucks so i wasnt frozen)still living with dad ... wtf i just got back as per her request.... my thoughts then i hope to hear yours .. seperation disorder always wants more never content worries what other people think.... i think i was a rebound or segway through her divorce or 17 years i dont think she can be alone ... always likes new things hint hint ... welll thats it hope you have enough info ... im ready for your thoughts ...I THINK...
CarrieT Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 I'm sorry - I tried to read the stream of consciousness but grammar, capitalization, and punctuation are your friend. I can't understand anything that has words run-together with blah-blah-blahs... It may make sense in your head, but is incomprehensible on a chat board. 3
seminoles84 Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 I'm sorry - I tried to read the stream of consciousness but grammar, capitalization, and punctuation are your friend. I can't understand anything that has words run-together with blah-blah-blahs... It may make sense in your head, but is incomprehensible on a chat board. Agree. I couldn't get past the first sentence.
mightycpa Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 I smoked a big fat blunt and understood him perfectly. And they say that dope makes you dumb! She's a spoiled little brat with access to family money on top of her decent wage living. You're a low-achieving musician sponging off his middle-class parents. She definitely likes you for the person you are, but she's figured out she can't live with the way you live your life, specifically the low-achieving, ain't making no money part. It would be a lot different if you had tons of cash, but you don't. It's either that, or her family said "it's either him or our help, but not both" and she likes the money and security better than you. Let's face it, there are a virtually unlimited supply of penises out there for the choosing. So the differentiator is something else. You can't give the mom and kid more when you move in. You're like taking on debt. She's not 16 anymore, and if she's learned anything, it's that you don't grab hold of a man who can't provide unless you look like a cat's ass and you have no other options. Take those nights with $200 dinners and all the sex you can eat afterwards. Fun, right? Maybe with you, those days are over, or severely curtailed. This is a high seas drama, where you're the captain and it's leading up to mutiny. It ends in one of two ways. You can either walk the plank and put an end to it. Or you can do the yo-yo thing, continue to go through all the back and forth drama and grind it out until one day, when she doesn't call back anymore and maybe you wonder why.
Author GET IT ON Posted February 14, 2015 Author Posted February 14, 2015 wow !! First off sorry for the poor typing .... and thanks for the reply blunt smoker ... you hit it on the head for the most part ... already started nc but she keeps on texting soooo.. that is where i get confused ...
Author GET IT ON Posted February 14, 2015 Author Posted February 14, 2015 And sorry I never used my middle class parents for anything in 35 years until I needed a bed to sleep in now ! always worked i am an electrician now and just got laid off 2 months ago so no bum here!!she provides for herself .. didnt want that ... that is why im fumbling with this .. thats all
mightycpa Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 And sorry I never used my middle class parents for anything in 35 years until I needed a bed to sleep in now ! always worked i am an electrician now and just got laid off 2 months ago so no bum here!!she provides for herself .. didnt want that ... that is why im fumbling with this .. thats all I fully acknowledge that your current situation might be temporary. My apologies for not mentioning that. There is another option, I guess. As an electrician, you could put together a 5-year plan to start your own company and you could get, if not wealthy, then very comfortable, and solve that security problem. I don't know if you have the personality/skills for that or not. I don't know if she'd be a good partner for you (ie, have the skills you lack to get that done) in that kind of endeavor or not. But it is another option, and maybe she's open to a conversation that points in that direction too. That could be a third ending, although I wouldn't bet on it.
Author GET IT ON Posted February 14, 2015 Author Posted February 14, 2015 WELL I'm new here and i tried to say things in a fast and un clear way I don't type very well so try and deal with it .. please .. I was with my child hood friend after re connecting in about 30 years .. she looked me up on FB we started talking and then we met up and the rest is glorious history absolutely best friends and lovers for 2 years.. I had a good job with my family bizz car broke down about 2 months before we met and I was currently living back home because of a very hurtful 18 year marriage on my end ...didnt cheat made a good living etc we just fell out of love and I took it real bad ... pretty much lost everything and moved back home to re group ... so when I met this girl I told her everything as she did to me about why she is getting a divorce after 16 years of marriage ... i couldnt figure why her x seemed solid great provider she didnt have to work etc only be a home maker and take care of her 9 year old son... when i asked why she wanted out she said she just fell out of love because he would scold her and asked her to get a job... so she could support her shopping habits etc is what i got out of it ... so any way she said things like no one ever cared or loved me the way you do before .... you are perfect kind gentle give great advise and im so glad i found you especially now that im going through this im a very lucky girl.. we went everywhere money was no problem .. then suddenly i think about the time the x moved out and the divorce was going to happen poof 180... started with I need space I have no me time etc... we only saw each other about 2x a week ... she broke up with me and I was so upset that I shot to fla to see my mother for a few weeks not really planning on coming home... didnt tell her I left ... well after 1 day of NC she went crazy crying on phone msg calling my family wondering where I went ... finally I called her and she said that she didn't mean what she said wanted me home and she is sure that she wants to be with me... so I booked the next flight out but it wasn't going to be for about 10 days well everyday she called was perfect picked me up from airport all was good for about 3 weeks then poof right back to old thoughts... since then she said we could be FWB ... BUT SHE IS GOING TO DATE ... well I said ok ughh that lasted about 2 weeks then I thought wait i'm gonna get crushed here ... didn't want to be told that she can't see me tonight because she is going out on a date.. so I sent her a text stating I don't think we should talk so much anymore ie: GM/GOODNIGHTS whats up during the day basically idle chit chat .. felt like I was being used until she finds out if she wants me after she tests the waters ...I said this about 6 days ago .. she replied with I get it ..I m sorry you have to do this just to deal with how I'm feeling right now .. followed by i love you I always willl you were a big part of my life for 2 years and you helped me over the wall and i wont forget ... please text me when ever you want i'll always be here for you I would relly like that peace to you .. that was it I did not respond and have not heard from her since after talking to her every day for the past 2 years feels crazy... she did tell me last week after i asked what she wanted to do for V'DAY ..since we would both be alone ... she said she made plans with her single girlfriend to go bar hopping at some singles spot and that we could get together on sunday the day after .. I said ok but later realized wtf am I doing .. so thats when I sent the text... well people any thoughts I'm really down not sure what to do ... and was thinking of texting on monday .. just figuring some of her instead of none of her might keep me sane enough until I find some one else or she doesn't and gets lonely again ...just seems like i said don't call at all I just meant don't feel you have to text .. just want to text ... please help give me a boost people... thanks
jam3s84 Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 I can really relate to your post in terms of the type of person you are dealing with. Some people have no ability to differentiate from there actions and intentions, she sounds like this sort. She begged, pleaded to get you to return from Fla. But upon your return inevitably goes right back to the insanity you experienced. You sound genuine in your actions with her and this is where you two separate. My experience over 3 years with a person who sounds eerily similar was that my self preservation has to come first, women like my ex are masters of good intentions and harmful behavior. I had to block my ex, go NC and just keep moving forward. My last slip up after two weeks was her begging me to unblock here # through email, I caved, inevitably I again got hurt. She wanted the control back, she wanted attention and validation, my ex was also narcissistic to a t. Don't let her intentions (talking, texting, etc.) Overshadow her actions. Save yourself, money and prestige will never stop 2 people who are serious about the love they have for each other from having a loving relationship. Don't fall for the crazy!
Author GET IT ON Posted February 16, 2015 Author Posted February 16, 2015 Thank you you are right ... it just as you kno hurts and sucks ... I'm trying not to blame my self that's hard to... I need work yes .. I helped her over the wall of divorce so she didn't have to go it alone all she said was thank you I'm so lucky to have you just be patient and knobody should go this alone... I think she always needs a rebound and something new all the time.. just wish I picked up on this sooner... I guess when it was my turn that needed the help this time she said screw it .....
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