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Is this stalking?


Simpleguy99

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So I contacted my exes friend whom I thought was cool. And I said look just look out for my ex I just care for her be there for her etc cause I won't be there. And then he goes and tells her I called him and then she messages my sister saying I'm stalking her but in fact I just told the friend to look out for her with good intentions cause she uses drugs and I don't want her to ruin her life. I got the number of her old phone which she left at mine.. is this stalking??? Cause I feel horrible that I'm being labeled as a creep when I just wanted the best for my ex.

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SycamoreCircle

I hate that word so much. I feel like it's become an emergency button for immature people. Yes, stalking is a real thing. But it has such awful connotations that to use it in anything but those circumstances is mean and vindictive.

 

As for your actions, unless this was the Old West or Mongolia circa Genghis Khan, telling someone to just look out for her sounds ridiculous. It's you inserting yourself into an area where your presence is no longer desired.

 

Go NC. Move on. Disengage from the drama. There's nothing else you can do.

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Who broke up with who?

I don't see it as stalking...

It's not like you told your friend, "keeps tabs on her for me..."

I mean if she hates you then yea she will see it as stalking...

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If she's on drugs or likely to go off the deep end for whatever reason, I see no issue in telling a friend to look out for her, if that's what you found yourself doing on a lot of occasions.

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Generally speaking if you have to ask yourself "Is this <insert whatever it is>?" chances are it is <insert whatever it is>...

 

Yeah...If you feel like asking...odds are...

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Simon Phoenix
Yeah no contact totally but with the best intentions... people are just inconsiderate now days chivalry is dead...

 

It's not seen as chivalry. It's seen as you butting in where you aren't welcome, and that's what you did. Is it stalking? No, but it's you inserting yourself in a situation where your opinion was not welcome. Next time you'd be better served to mind your own business.

Edited by Simon Phoenix
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SincereOnlineGuy
I'm stalking her but in fact I just told the friend to look out for her with good intentions cause she uses drugs and I don't want her to ruin her life. I got the number of her old phone which she left at mine.. is this stalking??? Cause I feel horrible that I'm being labeled as a creep when I just wanted the best for my ex.

 

 

 

Of course you are stalking her.

 

 

You'd love it most if she waltzed to your front door and explained how she wanted nothing more than to have you back in her romantic life.

 

 

Short of that, you have taken it upon yourself to spread mean tales about her to people who you have no business contacting, because even doing that feels much better to you than does the

 

No contact whatsoever which is your alternative.

 

 

Everything you have undertaken here, under the guise of being some sort of a do-gooder, has in fact been for your own personal gratification.

 

 

It is the oldest lesson in the psychology book that to be mean to somebody lets you feel nearer to them than does being wholly indifferent to them (while they are wholly indifferent to you).

 

 

So what say you cease immediately the stalking of your ex?

 

 

Hunh, how about it???

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