Fell hard for a girl at work

[futurecfo]

Long story...I started my job(real job) 2 years ago, then this girl started 1 month after I did. I fell damn hard for her. I've never gotten her number/ never asked her out on a date. I did however take her to lunch 2-3 times a week. This went on for 4-5 months. Then a coworker(same age as me and the girl) of mine from a previous job began working at the same company. He shared an office with her, and I became jealous. I acted up the first time the 3 of us went out for lunch. Needless to say, she far from happy with me. Looking back on it, it is one thing I regret doing. She Facebook messaged me and said nothing was going on between us and to leave her alone (keep reading).

 

For the next 9 months, I would rarely go with them to lunch, and her and I hardly talked to each other. Now, the coworker is gone and I continue to go with her to lunch every once in a while and I am pretty sure she still likes hanging out with me. Also, when we pass in the office, we usually don't say anything to each other, but we are always staring into each others' eyes for a good 3-6 seconds. I still REALLY like her during all of this.

 

I kind of made a move this week (Valentine's day is Saturday). I sent her 3 bouquets of flowers anonymously this week. Assorted color roses on Wed, an assortment of different flowers on Thurs, and Red Roses with chocolates on Friday. I know she is currently single and she knows it was me that sent the flowers. She thanks me graciously for the flowers. She is out of town for Valentine's day for a cattle show (she's big into cattle and we work for an ag company) but I wanted to ask her out this weekend.

 

Should I ask her out next weekend? Is it stupid of me for thinking it's a good idea for coworkers to date? My parents met at work and there are 2 married couples that work at this company. I'd rather not get rejected, but like I said, I fell HARD for this girl. Thanks for the advice.

[towardthefuture]

You've been really passive for a long time, I don't see this going well for you. It really sounds like you've been friend zoned for over a year. Maybe it'll work out for you if you man up and just ask her out. Better late than never, right?Note for future reference that 'I really don't want to get rejected' is a mindset that sets you up for being rejected. Girls can smell that on you, and to them it means "He is less than me and knows it, and I want someone better than me."

 

So what if she hates you after. So what if you get rejected. You're already not dating her.

 

But honestly you might have waited too long on this one. You might have a better shot with her if you give up on her, get a different girlfriend, let go, and stop chasing after her. She might miss the attention and come sniffing around looking for it

[elgringo]

It is very dangerous to be romantically involved with a coworker. If you do start dating and it doesn't work out it could be very awkward. I dated a woman at work. It didn't work out. Fortunately she got a job somewhere else.