NJ123 Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 Okay, I posted this in the other section, but seems hardly anyone goes there so decided to post it here. So anyways, my situation is pretty messed up right now & I don't know what to do. I suffer from severe intrusive thoughts that at times make me feel like I am awful person as well as depressive episodes. Also, have a mystery illness that no one has been able to figure out which is causing me all sorts of awful symptoms. I haven't even worked in 8 months now & only have an associates degree. So, I don't know how I'll ever meet a woman in this situation I'm in since I don't even know if I'll ever be 100% healthy again. I just want honest answers if I could ever meet a woman in this situation. I'm not housebound & could go out & do things but it's pretty hard to at times.
Michelle ma Belle Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 I'm sorry to hear of your struggles. The first thing that comes to mind is that I think we need more info regarding the issues. It's hard to offer up honest and helpful advice when you're so vague about what you're truly dealing with on a daily basis. The second thought I had when reading your post is that finding a girlfriend should be the LAST thing you're worrying about at this point. If you have mental/health issues particularly if they are going diagnosed for whatever reason, THAT should be your priority NOT finding a girlfriend. Finding a partner will NOT solve any of your problems unfortunately. It's a lovely romantic notion but not a realistic one I'm afraid. You want honest advice? You need to focus on YOU and the issues that plague your life right now. You need to ACTIVELY work at slaying your demons with the help of professional therapists, medication, whatever it takes. If your mysterious illness remains a mystery, try another doctor until you find one that will turn over every rock until they find what's wrong with you. The truth is that until you can at least manage your illness (whatever it is) in a healthy and productive way, finding a woman may not prove to be the issue necessarily but keeping one will definitely be. Good luck. 1
autumnnight Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 I'm sorry you are struggling. My first questions are: are you in regular therapy? Are you WORKING in regular therapy? Are you taking medication? If the answers to any of the above is no, dating should be the last thing on your mind. If the above answers are yes, just keep working. There is no shame in having mental illness, just like there is no shame in being diabetic or having asthma or any other physiological issue (last time I checked the brain IS a part of the body). I person with empathy and compassion and who doesn't bow to stigma won't write you off just because you have an illness. A person would WOULD write you off doesn't deserve to get to know you. 1
preraph Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 If you aren't in therapy, you should be, on an ongoing basis, and if meds are recommended you should take them exactly as prescribed and report any side effects to the doctor but not stop taking them as many have to build up in your system to work and then it is always a work in progress for the doctor to find the right level that works on you and the right drug or combination of drugs. Are your intrusive thoughts something like PTSD or are they more schizophrenic type thoughts or bipolar? Once you get your mental health in line, and get all the tests you need to find out what's going on physically, then you will be able to work again, and I imagine you should simply focus on that and not women until you reach that point. 1
Author NJ123 Posted February 18, 2015 Author Posted February 18, 2015 I'm sorry to hear of your struggles. The first thing that comes to mind is that I think we need more info regarding the issues. It's hard to offer up honest and helpful advice when you're so vague about what you're truly dealing with on a daily basis. The second thought I had when reading your post is that finding a girlfriend should be the LAST thing you're worrying about at this point. If you have mental/health issues particularly if they are going diagnosed for whatever reason, THAT should be your priority NOT finding a girlfriend. Finding a partner will NOT solve any of your problems unfortunately. It's a lovely romantic notion but not a realistic one I'm afraid. You want honest advice? You need to focus on YOU and the issues that plague your life right now. You need to ACTIVELY work at slaying your demons with the help of professional therapists, medication, whatever it takes. If your mysterious illness remains a mystery, try another doctor until you find one that will turn over every rock until they find what's wrong with you. The truth is that until you can at least manage your illness (whatever it is) in a healthy and productive way, finding a woman may not prove to be the issue necessarily but keeping one will definitely be. Good luck. Hi, thanks for the reply. Well, the problems I get to be more specific are severe intrusive random thoughts that pop up into my mind. It's kind of embarrassing if I go into specific details about what type of thoughts they are but they could be of anything such as intrusive sexual thoughts or intrusive harm thoughts. I'm pretty sure it's a Pure Obsessional OCD type of thing, & also have depressive mood which I've been diagnosed with. This is where the things get complicated. I have some mystery illness for a long time that no doctor has been able to help me out with. It has to do with my ear or jaw & causing me all sorts of awful symptoms. I did have a TMJ MRI about a month ago & that came back normal so I'm at a loss at this point as in what to do. Symptoms I get are headaches, an awful brain fogginess feeling where I can't even think straight a lot of the time, green phlegm/mucus, ear pain, crackling/popping sounds in my ear. As well as the right side of my jaw not feeling right. Think it has something to do with my jawline muscles or something. I've had physical therapy but that didn't help either. I might have to go back to another ENT doctor to see what they say since the last one I went to said they didn't see anything wrong. I've had a bunch of different tests done on a number of things & they all keep coming back normal. As well as my blood work coming back normal. And I'm too afraid to take the medicine my psych gave me due to all these problems I'm having with this issue due to all the symptoms I get. I'm not sure what to do. And I understand that I need to focus on myself but it's hard to a lot of the time. Since I'll never know if I'll recover fully from this.
Author NJ123 Posted February 18, 2015 Author Posted February 18, 2015 If you aren't in therapy, you should be, on an ongoing basis, and if meds are recommended you should take them exactly as prescribed and report any side effects to the doctor but not stop taking them as many have to build up in your system to work and then it is always a work in progress for the doctor to find the right level that works on you and the right drug or combination of drugs. Are your intrusive thoughts something like PTSD or are they more schizophrenic type thoughts or bipolar? Once you get your mental health in line, and get all the tests you need to find out what's going on physically, then you will be able to work again, and I imagine you should simply focus on that and not women until you reach that point. No, my thoughts aren't from schizophrenic or bipolar. I don't get manic highs so it's not bipolar. Since I don't get delusional thoughts or hallucinations. The thoughts I get I know aren't real but their just very bothersome.
preraph Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 It really sounds like TMJ, and I don't think it always shows up on MRI. In fact, I didn't think you could actually diagnose it that way. Hopefully it will go away. I have had bouts of it. I get one type most now where it feels like there's a bug in my ear, but I found some over-the-counter ear drops that ease that feeling a bit. I don't know why though. I used to have the hurting kind and once in awhile I do pop my job, but it hasn't gotten bad in a long time. I once got it to ease up by moving my jaw in every direction from every angle, tilting my head as I moved my jaw side to side and opening and closing my mouth. But do be careful about opening your mouth real wide. i have heard it can get stuck!
Author NJ123 Posted February 18, 2015 Author Posted February 18, 2015 It really sounds like TMJ, and I don't think it always shows up on MRI. In fact, I didn't think you could actually diagnose it that way. Hopefully it will go away. I have had bouts of it. I get one type most now where it feels like there's a bug in my ear, but I found some over-the-counter ear drops that ease that feeling a bit. I don't know why though. I used to have the hurting kind and once in awhile I do pop my job, but it hasn't gotten bad in a long time. I once got it to ease up by moving my jaw in every direction from every angle, tilting my head as I moved my jaw side to side and opening and closing my mouth. But do be careful about opening your mouth real wide. i have heard it can get stuck! That's the thing though, I can open my mouth wide without any problems & it barely hurts. But I choose not to open it wide anyway. But I'm having all these weird symptoms. Sometimes when I'm eating I just hear a random loud popping sound on my right side like something is trying to heal in there, than it goes out of place again. It's just a complete mystery. And I sometimes feel like I'm sick without even having an illness. So I don't know what to do at this point. I even have a night guard I wear, but it isn't really helping with the issue. And the oral surgeon said I'm not a candidate for surgery. I seen 2 of them, and they both said surgery isn't an option for me. And the MRI came back completely normal.
Author NJ123 Posted February 18, 2015 Author Posted February 18, 2015 I'm sorry you are struggling. My first questions are: are you in regular therapy? Are you WORKING in regular therapy? Are you taking medication? If the answers to any of the above is no, dating should be the last thing on your mind. If the above answers are yes, just keep working. There is no shame in having mental illness, just like there is no shame in being diabetic or having asthma or any other physiological issue (last time I checked the brain IS a part of the body). I person with empathy and compassion and who doesn't bow to stigma won't write you off just because you have an illness. A person would WOULD write you off doesn't deserve to get to know you. I've been given meds but I'm afraid to take them. And I suppose, but someone like that would be hard to find. If I told a woman about all my issues they'll probably think I'm a psycho or something lol. All I have going for me right now literally is that I consider myself to be good looking. And a bunch of women have told me that I'm cute or handsome so that feels good to know at least that my looks aren't a problem. And I try to stay in decent shape by going to the gym 3 or 4x a week. But besides that my life is a huge mess.
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