Vicereine Posted April 4, 2005 Posted April 4, 2005 Has anyone had to choose between 2 guys (or 2 girls)? How do you know which one to pursue? How do you turn down the person you've decided against? I am stuck between 2 guys, I am fairly sure who I would like to be with.. The other guy though we have made it quite obvious about getting together, so I am feeling pretty bad about the idea of changing my mind. On the other side, guy #2 doesn't live near me and won't be around till about June, so do I give guy #1 a chance and then later see how things are with #2? I would feel even worse dumping someone though.. I'm confused! Suggestions/experiences apprectiated, thanks!
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted April 4, 2005 Posted April 4, 2005 For me it was easy. Guy #1 and I had some problems and broke up. I met guy #2 and spent an eventless night with him. Guy #2 had bad smoker's breath and a hole in his underwear. The next day I called Guy #1 and we got back together, even though he is out of town until July, although we might travel a bit to see each other before then.
sprightlee Posted April 4, 2005 Posted April 4, 2005 I too was in a situation like that...i too, picked guy number one, and I am glad I did. But first I stayed frozen by indecision and almost lost him. Write a list of the qualities you like about each of them. That might help. Are they extremely different from each other? Do they represent different life paths to you?
Author Vicereine Posted April 5, 2005 Author Posted April 5, 2005 Guy #2 is easier so I'll start with him. We have an incredible amount of things in common, he is very considerate, funny etc etc, can't really think of anything bad about him.. Guy #1, umm I think started more on physical attraction, flirting.. started to like him more than that and he does too but problem is he has a gf. Finally the other night he opened up to me about that situation (won't go into it..). Sometimes things are great and then other times he is completely different. So in a way I've done that pros/cons list and guy #2 seems the better choice for me. I feel bad if I were to not persue anything with guy #1 (once single of course) since we were kinda planning on it.. Then of course I don't know what will happen with guy #2, he is going through a period of flip-flop-ness trying to figure out what he wants to do with himself, such as debating moving back home (which happens to be closer to me) or staying where he's at.. and I could not do a long-distance relationship.. I guess I will have to talk to guy #2 about it (I am pretty sure he feels the same way, he's just not a forward kind of guy), I try to show interest but I'm not sure if he's picking up on it. I'm just not sure how to go about it, I'm used to the guys being the forward ones.. I suppose that's where I should start, make sure he's on the same page as me!
Author Vicereine Posted April 6, 2005 Author Posted April 6, 2005 Well I was hoping for some replies as this is driving me nuts! I think I have gotten a pretty good indication that guy #2 is interested in me. I am planning on going to an adult school to get the last of my credits, I told him to kick my butt if I mess this up again. His reply was I will come down there and kick your butt.. then take you to dinner.. and a movies.. and concerts. I almost feel like this guy is my other half, we have so much in common that it is almost as if we are long lost twins lol, not to mention a few odd coincedences. Now guy #1 tells me tonight that his gf is going out of town to go to the dentist (go figure..), so he says now we could have a night to ourselves. Well I didn't flat out tell him no, just sort of beat around the bush, said maybe.. Part of me says just do it, at least see if there is anything there (for one he is right here ready and willing, whereas meeting guy #2 is a few months away). Since he has finally opened up to me more now and showing more interest than just 'booty' (he says he'd rather talk to me than have sex with her ) I feel I should give him a chance, as well as because I certainly let him know that I wanted it too (I did say though that it would be once he's single). He wanted me to call him tonight (never asked me to before) but I was uncomfortable about that, he said he felt a bit offended about that, I never thought I could offend him, I felt terrible.. I also feel terrible at the thought of saying 'sorry I think I've found someone else, bye bye!'. Ahh I don't even know what I'm asking about anymore, if I were to choose right now I would go with guy #2 but do I still care for #1.. Do I hold out for #2? Do I just persue something short term with guy #1? I have been single for 5 months, I don't want to wait anymore lol. I sort of left out the fact that these are internet friends of mine, I've come to realize what do I care what you people think! Please note that I am fairly experienced with people from the internet on and offline and believe that I can judge them properly on honesty and character. Edit: As silly as it sounds, I've realized I think I might actually be afraid if I were to persue something short term with guy #1 that I may fall for him and miss out on guy #2.. (and crush him in the process )
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted April 7, 2005 Posted April 7, 2005 Originally posted by Vicereine Now guy #1 tells me tonight that his gf is going out of town to go to the dentist (go figure..), so he says now we could have a night to ourselves. ( ) He has a gf? Pick Guy#2 then.
Author Vicereine Posted April 8, 2005 Author Posted April 8, 2005 Yes that is the obvious choice, but he will not be with her forever.. but anyway, guess now I could use some advice on how to turn him down basically.
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted April 8, 2005 Posted April 8, 2005 Does he have an exact date as to when he will end his relationship with his gf? I kinda doubt it. Therefore you can tell him that since he has a gf you just don't see where you can fit in to his life right now. Use any old excuse such as "finding yourself". You have no obligation to tell him who or what you want to do next.
Illusion24 Posted April 8, 2005 Posted April 8, 2005 Don't lead any of them on...Think about your needs what it is want in a man...once you can answer your questions you will be able to chose. I just broke with a great guy, who was sensitive, good looking, funny but he was missing something and I left him...I think about him and how relationship was and I know I did the right thing... Don't confuse yourself and your emotions...Someone who means the world to me told me once "You can have as many men as you want...but ONE at a time"....I've based a lot of my decision on that statement...you should really really think about the guy that makes you feel all weak inside and when he kisses you, you melt!!
hugnkis074 Posted April 15, 2005 Posted April 15, 2005 I feel as tho I posted that myself. Sorry I dont have advice, but let me know what your deciding factor is:)
Author Vicereine Posted April 15, 2005 Author Posted April 15, 2005 Thanks everyone.. Just thought I would update, guy #2 is coming down to a near by city next weekend and since he finally got his car insured he will be coming here for a visit I am thankful that I will not have to wait until June! Fingers crossed our plans go through. As for guy #1, he makes it easier and easier to choose just by the way he acts sometimes, so, he can go f*ck himself lol. hugnkis074 my deciding factor is I believe me and #2 are more compatible (lots of common interests etc), plus he is more genuine and seems like an all around great guy. I actually feel like we are becoming best friends (I swear we must have been twins in a past life). Besides #1 just doesn't show the interest as much, I know its there but there's a difference between knowing and showing, and of course there's the girlfriend issue.
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