Space and Time to think?

[Meccha]

So I'm completely lost, to the point that I'm asking for help or some advice on what to do here now lol.

 

19-07-2014 My now ex and I started dating, we had been un-officially for around a month before that but we made it official by telling her parents and setting FB up for us to both me in a relationship. Around September I moved into her house, which she lives with her parents.

 

Things were going amazingly, she has an almost 2 year old daughter to another man, which I had no problems with, I basically adopted her to be my own child. I will always remember she was trying to speak (slowly learning) and one night I got home from work and she kept calling me daddy, my ex and I loved it.

 

But halfway through December work stress and family stress (her step father is a piece of ****, who demeans her and gropes her when people aren't looking) so she ended up on anti-depressants. I ended up on them aswell because of alot of things that happened to me as a kid slowly resurfacing.

 

Me on anti-depressants: Needy, clingy, suicidal, depressed and angry, with a monster of a sex drive.

Her on anti-depressants: Angry and not finding enjoyment out of anything, no sex drive.

 

After fighting a little bit (once a week roughly, not a massive fight where we would hurt each other, but a little yelling and ignoring each other) on Saturday this week she basically said she's done. I walked out of work and tried talking to her, but once I said her medication is giving her side effects she basically booted me out.

 

My best mate is also her best friend, any time they talk he gives me his phone so I can see what she has said. She has never once said it's completely over, or she hates me. She just keeps saying she needs space and time to sort her own **** out before she can talk to me.

 

 

 

So how f###ed am I? I love her with every single fiber of my being. I'm an atheist and I find myself wanted to believe in a god just so I could pray she will take me back.

 

I just literally don't know what to do. Also our ages are me 26, her 21. This girl I wanted to marry and have a child with (we were talking about marriage oneday, and trying for a child end of this year).

[mightycpa]

Better start looking for a place to live.