sweetjasmine Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 [Cynic hat] How long did it last after that? [/Cynic hat] What does it matter how long it lasted after that? Are you suggesting that relationships last longer if people don't have a fabulous time on nice dates? 3
Rexxy Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 I had to celebrate valentines a day early because of work. During the day I took a rose to where she worked unexpectedly and her face completely lit up, she told me later that it completely made her day and literally couldn't wipe the smile of her face. I told her I had plans for the night but I couldn't tell her what they were, she was so excited and nervous to see what I had in mind. All I did was set up the back yard area with tealight candles, played our favorite music, and had tacos for dinner which made it really enjoyable trying to put them together. After a few hours of drinking and laughing I gave her a small bag of little goodies like teddy bears, her favourite chocolates, movie tickets, and a potato masher because she loves mash haha, wasn't expensive at all. Something so simple made the night so enjoyable and didn't spend much at all. Good luck with your valentines days! 3
Ruby Slippers Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 [Cynic hat] How long did it last after that? [/Cynic hat] Not long. (And it occurred to me that was two years ago.) I really liked how romantic he was, but we had some pretty significant differences in terms of worldview, values. He had plenty of money and didn't seem to mind splashing out on a fun date. In fact, he was the one fired up about it. I suggested we keep it simple since it was our second date, but he was determined to take me out and do it up right. It was romantic, and I appreciated the effort. 1
compulsivedancer Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 We were discussing this at work, and the ladies pretty much agreed - we want flowers or something done at work. So that we can show off when an amazing man we have. Flowers at home just aren't the same.
xxoo Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 We were discussing this at work, and the ladies pretty much agreed - we want flowers or something done at work. So that we can show off when an amazing man we have. Flowers at home just aren't the same. Isn't that what Facebook is for? 4
mortensorchid Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 Before you do or say anything negative about Valentine's Day, remember that we are slaves to capitalism. We have been conditioned by a variety of media to spend on things (flowers, candy, diamonds, etc.) to make others think that we care for them. Love actually doesn't cost a thing. To answer your question, what I as a woman would want from a man for Valentine's Day is for them to say "I love you". And I would want them to say "I love you" every other day of the year as well. But, I guess that's too much to ask of others. 1
Ninjainpajamas Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 It doesn't really matter necessarily what she EXPECTS...it's about what I'm going to get or do for her I think Valentines Day represents in the US in general, more about spending and money than it ever is about romance more often than not, therefore it's disingenuous and basically to be expected...it's just a very materialistic holiday, at least with Christmas you get to spend with family and make memories that will last you a lifetime. I mean ladies, what could be more predictable than having ONE DAY in particular a year...where a guy MUST buy something for his SO in a very predictable and overly commercialized fashion (overpriced chocolates, roses, dinners, jewelry which is the same damn thing year after year)...which in end turns into companies rubbing their hands together with a smile and a smirk on their faces as they will be making a nice little profit because they know you've got no choice unless you don't care or want to take a hit on the reputation meter of "you did nothing this year...how could you"..as society (mostly men) get put in a position where they are forced to compete with other men on who provides the best gifts and who provides the most "amazing" experience or what not...therefore your SO/casual sex partner/date/FWB/Wife/online date could get bragging rights, telling everyone who doesn't even care to hear about it, how "special" she was treated. How is that in any way "Romantic"? it's such a cheesy build-up, do you practice your face? and go to acting school just to master the "Ohhh you're so sweet! I had no idea!" Essentially though, this is what FB was built for. ............ Personally, I never really jumped on that bandwagon. Sorry, no limousine filled with rose pedals and bottles of champagne or wine...as I whisk you off to a magical ball in your sparkly blue dress and glass slippers. Of course this is all after dinner, as we ride hand in hand, eyes to eyes...in our chariot pulled by lavishly decorated white horses..as Pierre (our driver, host and waiter) escorts us to an exquisite location on the balcony of the Chateau facing ze lake (hor hor hor!)...sitting upon a garden of roses (in the shape of a heart of course) littered with even more rose pedals and dotted with candle lights. We watch the sunset being swallowed by the lake on an orange-purple partly clouded tinted sky with the feint soothing sound of violins playing in the background; as I had reserved a few violinist from the Philharmonic orchestra to play on the upper balcony. Then suddenly, a line of swans emerge from the reed plants, swimming slowly towards us, leaving a wake through the water lilies. The lead swan approaches, with it's blackened face and pearly white feathers..it waddles it's way towards us through the pristine cut green grass and as it comes closer, a glimmer of sparkles can be seen around it's neck in the shape of a heart...the swan approaches my "date" and leans it's neck across her lap...and she in that moment realizes that 500 carat diamond necklace (in the shape of a heart) is just for her! she looks at me and gives me the face and says "Is that for me? *acts surprised* It's amazing!, I love it"....we stop for a moment as she pulls out her Iphone, takes a picture and updates her status, exchanging a few texts with friends and then we continue. The rest of the story is not important...because two weeks later we found out we were "incompatible". But she appreciated it and she will tell the great story until the end of time, how once upon a time, she was magnificently whisked away on a romantic enchanted evening and given a quite expensive necklace from a guy she just met the week before. And I as the guy....having payed and did all this to impress her, received the same vagina that some other guy got two weeks earlier and all he had to do was pay for a beer. LOVE......it isn't fair. ........... But I digress...for my Valentine this year, I'm in a country that doesn't really celebrate the holiday, so I had to wander the streets like a stray dog in search for an assortment of "gifts" that would suffice to my liking...it doesn't need to be flashy, just genuine. I'm more of a spur of the moment kind of guy and what feels right when it comes to these things, I try to personalize gifts rather than just buy them randomly when I can. But I ended up coming across a florist who luckily spoke some English, I bought some roses off of him (didn't intend to buy roses really but they weren't overly priced) and they looked really nice and caught my eye walking by, felt like I had to buy them and they were just right. Then I found some chocolates in a random store and as a true American made sure they were in a "heart-shaped box", even though I had no idea what brands of chocolates they were...I tried to ask the lady next to me in the store what are the good chocolates here, and she just shyly blushed and tucked her head and said something to the effect in her language that "I'm sure any of them would be just fine"...so I just grabbed the ones I thought were the best. Then I grabbed a few other random things that I found about in other stores that were inexpensive...piled that together and called it my Valentines Day gift. Then I'll follow that up with a dinner at a restaurant, but to be honest it's a good enough reason for me to have something nice to eat too, but I'll do it here only because I don't get the impression it's going to be that busy out here...the hardest part is figuring out what's a good place to go, but I scouted the area and I think I found a nice place by a lake...it's just a bit cold and snowy so it'll have to be inside though...no romantic bay side sunset here (times like these I miss home though). I think that's pretty "excessive" for me to do out here but the "package" of it isn't overkill, the roses are like these baby roses I've never seen before and the chocolates are just chocolates and the other stuff is just a bit random stuff that comes together well (thanks mom for decorative and matching skills!). I talked to several other guys and they are all from different countries, and some others who are raised and born here...the guys from here aren't doing anything at all. A few of the other foreign guys didn't know at all what they were doing yet and that was yesterday, and one other guy was picking something up at the store he works. But to be honest I'm not really a big Valentines Day guy either, so she got kind of lucky. If I were to do something big and amazing it'd have to be a really special woman, like a wife and/or mother of my children or something like that. I'm sorry, but I'm not bending over backwards for women just because of Valentines Day...she's got to be really something amazing and it has to be in a serious relationship, it has to feel genuine and I have to want to do it because of how I feel for her...not because of a holiday, I'd rather show more everyday than just these big "special" holidays...it's not my style to just follow trends. 2
Diezel Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 Isn't that what Facebook is for? Instagram, too.
Diezel Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 And I as the guy....having payed and did all this to impress her, received the same vagina that some other guy got two weeks earlier and all he had to do was pay for a beer. LOVE......it isn't fair. For men, it's a day for which we have to pay a little extra for sex. See what I mean, people? Valentine's Day is just like Wedding Day... it's for women. Men just have to buy into it, because of threads like this... "What do you REALLY expect on Valentine's Day".
almond Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 It doesn't really matter necessarily what she EXPECTS...it's about what I'm going to get or do for her I think Valentines Day represents in the US in general, more about spending and money than it ever is about romance more often than not, therefore it's disingenuous and basically to be expected...it's just a very materialistic holiday, at least with Christmas you get to spend with family and make memories that will last you a lifetime. I mean ladies, what could be more predictable than having ONE DAY in particular a year...where a guy MUST buy something for his SO in a very predictable and overly commercialized fashion (overpriced chocolates, roses, dinners, jewelry which is the same damn thing year after year)...which in end turns into companies rubbing their hands together with a smile and a smirk on their faces as they will be making a nice little profit because they know you've got no choice unless you don't care or want to take a hit on the reputation meter of "you did nothing this year...how could you"..as society (mostly men) get put in a position where they are forced to compete with other men on who provides the best gifts and who provides the most "amazing" experience or what not...therefore your SO/casual sex partner/date/FWB/Wife/online date could get bragging rights, telling everyone who doesn't even care to hear about it, how "special" she was treated. How is that in any way "Romantic"? it's such a cheesy build-up, do you practice your face? and go to acting school just to master the "Ohhh you're so sweet! I had no idea!" Essentially though, this is what FB was built for. ............ Personally, I never really jumped on that bandwagon. Sorry, no limousine filled with rose pedals and bottles of champagne or wine...as I whisk you off to a magical ball in your sparkly blue dress and glass slippers. Of course this is all after dinner, as we ride hand in hand, eyes to eyes...in our chariot pulled by lavishly decorated white horses..as Pierre (our driver, host and waiter) escorts us to an exquisite location on the balcony of the Chateau facing ze lake (hor hor hor!)...sitting upon a garden of roses (in the shape of a heart of course) littered with even more rose pedals and dotted with candle lights. We watch the sunset being swallowed by the lake on an orange-purple partly clouded tinted sky with the feint soothing sound of violins playing in the background; as I had reserved a few violinist from the Philharmonic orchestra to play on the upper balcony. Then suddenly, a line of swans emerge from the reed plants, swimming slowly towards us, leaving a wake through the water lilies. The lead swan approaches, with it's blackened face and pearly white feathers..it waddles it's way towards us through the pristine cut green grass and as it comes closer, a glimmer of sparkles can be seen around it's neck in the shape of a heart...the swan approaches my "date" and leans it's neck across her lap...and she in that moment realizes that 500 carat diamond necklace (in the shape of a heart) is just for her! she looks at me and gives me the face and says "Is that for me? *acts surprised* It's amazing!, I love it"....we stop for a moment as she pulls out her Iphone, takes a picture and updates her status, exchanging a few texts with friends and then we continue. The rest of the story is not important...because two weeks later we found out we were "incompatible". But she appreciated it and she will tell the great story until the end of time, how once upon a time, she was magnificently whisked away on a romantic enchanted evening and given a quite expensive necklace from a guy she just met the week before. And I as the guy....having payed and did all this to impress her, received the same vagina that some other guy got two weeks earlier and all he had to do was pay for a beer. LOVE......it isn't fair. ........... But I digress...for my Valentine this year, I'm in a country that doesn't really celebrate the holiday, so I had to wander the streets like a stray dog in search for an assortment of "gifts" that would suffice to my liking...it doesn't need to be flashy, just genuine. I'm more of a spur of the moment kind of guy and what feels right when it comes to these things, I try to personalize gifts rather than just buy them randomly when I can. But I ended up coming across a florist who luckily spoke some English, I bought some roses off of him (didn't intend to buy roses really but they weren't overly priced) and they looked really nice and caught my eye walking by, felt like I had to buy them and they were just right. Then I found some chocolates in a random store and as a true American made sure they were in a "heart-shaped box", even though I had no idea what brands of chocolates they were...I tried to ask the lady next to me in the store what are the good chocolates here, and she just shyly blushed and tucked her head and said something to the effect in her language that "I'm sure any of them would be just fine"...so I just grabbed the ones I thought were the best. Then I grabbed a few other random things that I found about in other stores that were inexpensive...piled that together and called it my Valentines Day gift. Then I'll follow that up with a dinner at a restaurant, but to be honest it's a good enough reason for me to have something nice to eat too, but I'll do it here only because I don't get the impression it's going to be that busy out here...the hardest part is figuring out what's a good place to go, but I scouted the area and I think I found a nice place by a lake...it's just a bit cold and snowy so it'll have to be inside though...no romantic bay side sunset here (times like these I miss home though). I think that's pretty "excessive" for me to do out here but the "package" of it isn't overkill, the roses are like these baby roses I've never seen before and the chocolates are just chocolates and the other stuff is just a bit random stuff that comes together well (thanks mom for decorative and matching skills!). I talked to several other guys and they are all from different countries, and some others who are raised and born here...the guys from here aren't doing anything at all. A few of the other foreign guys didn't know at all what they were doing yet and that was yesterday, and one other guy was picking something up at the store he works. But to be honest I'm not really a big Valentines Day guy either, so she got kind of lucky. If I were to do something big and amazing it'd have to be a really special woman, like a wife and/or mother of my children or something like that. I'm sorry, but I'm not bending over backwards for women just because of Valentines Day...she's got to be really something amazing and it has to be in a serious relationship, it has to feel genuine and I have to want to do it because of how I feel for her...not because of a holiday, I'd rather show more everyday than just these big "special" holidays...it's not my style to just follow trends. Hahaha, how did this only get one like?? Good work, sir. P.S. Your doctor didn't happen to recently prescribe adderall, did he?
chimpanA-2-chimpanZ Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 See what I mean, people? Valentine's Day is just like Wedding Day... it's for women. Men just have to buy into it, because of threads like this... "What do you REALLY expect on Valentine's Day". Fixed: Valentine's Day is just like Wedding Day: it's for the women who have secured the affections of a man because it's the only meaningful accomplishment society will recognize. 2
regine_phalange Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 I don't get much affected by Valentine's day if I don't fancy anyone. But if I have a boyfriend I get him something quirky. I do expect to receive something also. Of course I do. I like stuffed animals, I like underwear, I like perfume, I like jewellery, I like flowers, I like DIY handmade gifts. Anything that is thoughtful or/and cute.
sweetjasmine Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 Valentine's Day is about doing sweet things for each other and enjoying the moment and experience. It's about using a set holiday as an excuse to have fun with each other. If you're only interested in what you can get out of someone (whether that be an expensive necklace or "receiving vagina," as some of you might say), then, yeah, you're never going to truly enjoy it and you're never going to understand why others might. Instead you'll just fall back on being "cynical" about it. Personally, I feel I'm cynical enough as it is without making myself bitter about a stupid holiday. 5
ComingInHot Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 What do I expect on February 14th each year? Same thing I would on any other day. Then if (like this morning) I get a card or something, I am so very excited that someone thought of Me on February 14th. Now don't get me started on the High Expectations I have on these next holidays : - National Talk like a Pirate Day - Cinco de' Mio aaaaaand wait for it.... - ST. PATRICKS DAY Get ready to Pony-Up fellas! J/K CiH* 1
Rejected Rosebud Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 My bf doesn't do romantic stuff often or buy into much of what we are taught is important like big weddings or valentines day and I am the same way myself, he was gone on a business trip and came in at about 4 in the morning, I was all sleepy and said "happy valentines day." He was all befuddled, he thought it was sunday, he said, well it lasts all day right? Then I came downstairs when I woke up and there were 2 beautiful plants, a box of candy, and one of the cheesy gigantic cards. I love him!! But I was fine when I believed he didn't remember, too.
ChelleBelle00 Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 I'm almost always single but if I have someone I hope I just get to see them or spend time with them. I have a bf but I doubt I'll get to see him today.
compulsivedancer Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 Isn't that what Facebook is for? Only if you are Facebook friends with your whole office.
veggirl Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 I've never cared much for Vday or wanted anything elaborate. Dinner or ordering in and hanging out is good enough for me. I'm not big on gifts unless its for a bday....days where I give you a gift and you give me one just don't do much for me, feels like we both coulda just spent the money on ourselves or something, I dunno. This year I planned on cooking for him because he's taking me to brunch tomorrow, but then I left all the food I wanted to cook in a fridge at work and its snowing so I don't feel like going back. So we are ordering in. Whoops.
wb1988 Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 Sorry - but you just sound incredibly superficial and shallow...if we ever dated I'd dump you pretty quick. You're putting waaaay too much need on physical objects - what about how the person makes you feel? The fact that you're complaining already about a guy you just met a week ago who isn't going to give you an expensive piece of jewelry is crazy (the fact that you even talked about that is crazy). You say life is too short- but what you're effectively doing is ensuring that a larger part of your life is spent single than in a fun, loving relationship, simply because you didn't quite as many necklaces as your mate. Moreover, when you do find someone, you'll effectively be ensuring that that individual feels like they can simply buy you. It seems every girl in London is just like that (they seem to get more common the more money you make), never forgets to delicately mention how much the check blazer or brogue shoes cost. I doubt they would have bought them for me if they knew that I use them specifically to date other women now. If you have the urge to spend money it's much better if you splash on a weekend retreat rather than a gift — there was only 1 gift in my life that did that and she's the one that I'll probably never get over
guest569 Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 See what I mean, people? Valentine's Day is just like Wedding Day... it's for women. Men just have to buy into it, because of threads like this... "What do you REALLY expect on Valentine's Day". By the way, this thread is specifically about what WOMEN expect for Valentines Day. I'm sure there are lots of men being pampered too. Why are you saying valentines and more importantly, that weddings, are all for women? Thats just bizarre.
Author Leigh 87 Posted February 14, 2015 Author Posted February 14, 2015 Why is it high maintenance of me to want to only date men who buy me a small gift on valentines day? I prefer to be spoilt. That doesn't make me high maintenance. I don't expect expensive gifts. I like to be taken out for dinner once a week. And treated to it. I don't think that's asking for too much. I prefer the traditional role of the man to take me out and spoil me rather than the 50/50 deal. I don't think I'm asking for too much....
losangelena Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 Why is it high maintenance of me to want to only date men who buy me a small gift on valentines day? I prefer to be spoilt. That doesn't make me high maintenance. I don't expect expensive gifts. I like to be taken out for dinner once a week. And treated to it. I don't think that's asking for too much. I prefer the traditional role of the man to take me out and spoil me rather than the 50/50 deal. I don't think I'm asking for too much.... It's not, Leigh. That's just one opinion, you don't have to take it to heart. That's what happens when you post on a forum—you open the flood gates.
Author Leigh 87 Posted February 14, 2015 Author Posted February 14, 2015 Did u guys forget the part where I said I also like to spoil a man? I am generous so I also want a partner who is generous with his money and time. A simply rose for valentines day is enough plus a nice dinner out. As I said - that's not high maintenance. The fact is, I'm not a girl who wants to date a guy who doesn't take me out to dinner andbwho doesn't do anything for valentines day. And that doesn't make me superficial. My love language is gifts and kind gestures as well as physical touch.
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