My ex gf of 2 yrs left me for another guy but I want her back.

February 13, 2015

Hi, I'm new here. I couldn't believe myself signing up to this forum just because I'm going thru hell right now and need urgent advice.

You see, my ex and I were together for 2 yrs she was the one going after me. She is the most wonderful gf except for one thing, she's the needy type and needs lots of attention while I'm the more laid back type and social animal who needs some me time. I tried to break off 2 times with her during g our first year,but we managed to work it out because I came to appreciate her and we compromised on many issues. As time passed we grew closer but I started to get into my comfort zone. I don't text her as much as she texted me and I did not sat down and discuss a concrete plan for our future. She wanted to settle down get married and have children but I brushed it aside. She kept everything inside and I don't sense anything wrong.

to cut the story short, end of Dec last yr, she suddenly told me she wanted to cool off. After much probing she said she met a new guy 3 mths ago,though not together yet but she has fond feelings for him. I gave her time to think About it, at the same time I wrote a letter telling her I'm so sorry n I will change my ways and we can work out a plan to try. I let her be, but the other guy use the opportunity to win her heart and 3 weeks later she gave me an answer n broke off with me. She said the guy is different from me. Very attentive to her needs and goal orientated. She said she's disappointed at me until she gave up hope and she strayed. I asked for a chance for us to work it out because I dunno that she's been feeling this way. She said it's too late.

now they are together ever since.i can't stop thinking of her n feeling bad about myself. All my friends thought she will never leave me , instead it should be me because she just needed me so much. I really can't forget her. I changed a lot these 2 months. I will do anything to get her back buy it's impossible. I tried no contact, to try to move on, but she kept texting me mundane questions and I can't ignore her. What should I do? I really want her back. Should I just remain no contact and try winning her back in a few weeks? I know I will never love again if it's not her..I'm lost

February 13, 2015

Tell her never to text you, unless she wants you back.

If you want to gamble, tell her also that you're going to be dating again, looking for love. And apologize in advance for not replying her texts in the future because the window is totally close now.

February 13, 2015

I feel for you man same boat... Don't worry let time play it's course if it happens it happens. Let it be, I've learnt too. If you were a good lover then hopefully she'll see that you truly cared and will come back eventually. As sick as it my sound I hope my ex meets someone abusive for her to learn how good she got it...

February 13, 2015

same here, my ex of 5 years left me in pretty much the same way. She was needy too and all my friends thought i would leave her instead of the other way around. I treated her really well and was respectful in ways i know most guys aren't, but none of that matters when the other person makes up their mind. lets see how time plays out, i was told that she pretty much dumped me for this new guy, which is what your ex did to you, and was asked why would i want someone after they did that to me. now i know what you're going to say, i say the same thing, i love her the connection we had was amazing, etc etc but you have to let go and move on for your own sake, if its meant to be, it will be

February 13, 2015

Thks guys, I know I should avoid all contact. But I think we shared the same memories as well. So I'm betting she still have some feelings for me although she said she just want to be frnds. She still texts me, n I'm trying no to reply but it's so hard. On one hand I'm afraid she will slowly get used to being without me if I ignore her longer, on the other I know I will never be able to move on if I keep replying her texts. She broke up officially with me on 20th Jan 2015 and immediately hop on to that guy. And tomorrow is valentines day.. Everything is so sudden and I felt like a fool for knowing about it months later because I never suspect or expect her to open her heart for someone else.

I'm waiting for a miracle that I know gets harder as the days go by...

February 13, 2015

Just follow the advice - Not only NC, but also letting her know you gonna date again and ask her politely never to bother you again.

You need that theatrical gesture for your self to move on. You need to close the window.

February 13, 2015

Give me advice Lola I'm stuck too.

February 13, 2015

Here's the hard facts for you, dude. You were with her and at the end she told you that she met someone 3 months earlier. Dude, she was cheating on you. I can probably speculate that she started a lot of arguments and became distant towards you. Basically, something probably felt very off with you.

Dude, she was dating someone else while she was with you. She developed feelings for someone else and as soon as she pulled the trigger on you, she immediately jumped on to this new guy. No mourning the loss of you. No mourning the loss of your relationship. Normally, you don't jump onto someone that quickly without something being there already. She felt comfortable enough with this dude to enter into a new relationship immediately.

So, she moved on to someone else. But, here's the rub. Probably, the reason she's still contacting you is because she KNOWS she did you wrong. She knows she cheated and dropped you for another guy. She knows that she willingly allowed herself to get close to another dude while she should have been committed to you. She's had enough time to think about that and she feels guilty. Therefore, she contacts you periodically to see where your head is at.

For whatever reason, a lot of girls hate the fact that there might be someone on this planet that hates them or doesn't think they're a nice person. SO, she contacting you to see if that's the case. When you respond back, then she can ease her guilt. She can say to herself, "OH! We broke up. I still have my new man. And me and my Ex are still cool! Life is good!" You eased her guilt until the next time she starts feeling guilty again.

She doesn't want you back, but she doesn't want you to hate her either. You need to go No Contact (NC) on her. Dude, she's moved onto someone else and you need to do the same. She broke it off with you, therefore she made the choice to have YOU out of HER life. She placed a higher value on this other dude than you. Since she did this, she has no right to dictate what kind of relationship she wants with you. Plus, when you go NC, you give her NOTHING when she's feeling guilty. She has no idea where your head is at. She has no idea if you hate her or just don't care. She has no idea if your happy or sad. She has no idea if your still pining for her, or indifferent towards her. You give her NOTHING!

Then, she has no choice but to hold onto that guilt. And we don't do this to be vindictive. We do it so they can learn from it. That you can't treat people the way she treated you and expect people to be okay with it.

NC is for you. Not for her. It's a tool for you to use to help you heal from this and move on with your life.

February 13, 2015

Hi, I'm new here. I couldn't believe myself signing up to this forum just because I'm going thru hell right now and need urgent advice.

You see, my ex and I were together for 2 yrs she was the one going after me. She is the most wonderful gf except for one thing, she's the needy type and needs lots of attention while I'm the more laid back type and social animal who needs some me time. I tried to break off 2 times with her during g our first year,but we managed to work it out because I came to appreciate her and we compromised on many issues. As time passed we grew closer but I started to get into my comfort zone. I don't text her as much as she texted me and I did not sat down and discuss a concrete plan for our future. She wanted to settle down get married and have children but I brushed it aside. She kept everything inside and I don't sense anything wrong.

to cut the story short, end of Dec last yr, she suddenly told me she wanted to cool off. After much probing she said she met a new guy 3 mths ago,though not together yet but she has fond feelings for him. I gave her time to think About it, at the same time I wrote a letter telling her I'm so sorry n I will change my ways and we can work out a plan to try. I let her be, but the other guy use the opportunity to win her heart and 3 weeks later she gave me an answer n broke off with me. She said the guy is different from me. Very attentive to her needs and goal orientated. She said she's disappointed at me until she gave up hope and she strayed. I asked for a chance for us to work it out because I dunno that she's been feeling this way. She said it's too late.

now they are together ever since.i can't stop thinking of her n feeling bad about myself. All my friends thought she will never leave me , instead it should be me because she just needed me so much. I really can't forget her. I changed a lot these 2 months. I will do anything to get her back buy it's impossible. I tried no contact, to try to move on, but she kept texting me mundane questions and I can't ignore her. What should I do? I really want her back. Should I just remain no contact and try winning her back in a few weeks? I know I will never love again if it's not her..I'm lost

Dude you just described exactly, almost word for word my relationship of 3 years. I am like you, i can function on my own, like my space, don't need to call or text every day.

My ex, EXACTLY as you described your ex. She perused me, was into me more than i was into her, very needy, wanted contact ALL the time, talking about babies and marriage in the first 3 months of the relationship. Like you i almost walked away 3 times in the first 18 months. I too got into the "comfort zone" we even moved in together.

Let me tell you something about this personality type dude. Their expectations will always be too damn high. It doesn't matter how attentive this new guy is, her expectations will get higher and higher and sooner or later will no longer be able to feel her quoter. Just like you and me, you were able to meet that quoter for a time then it just becomes impossible.

Also, my ex had another guy lined up, just like she had me lined with her ex before me. See this as you side stepped this bullet. Do you really want to be with someone who can never be for filled?

For girls like these, we are the latest iPhone mate. We're shiny, we do a few more things our old phones cannot do, there are token changes, slightly faster but underneath all the advertising and glamor it is essentially the same phone. I would argue this guy is probably more like you than she has let on. She is in the honey moon phase with her new iPhone mate. Sadly, we're last years model and no longer meet requirements.

This type of girl will upgrade their iPhone will 2 to 3 years. They like the honeymoon feeling, this is what they long for. They don't want to work and build something, they are forever chasing that quick fix feeling, just like the sugar kick running through our blood stream after eating a tub of ben and jerrys.

Understand the nature of the beast and you will realise you are far better off without this emotional vampire you once called your girlfriend.

I know the pain you're going through buddy, but she done it once she'll do it again.

Hope you feel better soon.

February 13, 2015

I'm in the same boat, bro. Love of my life broke it off and then jumped right into another relationship. It hurts like hell, but staying strong is the most important thing here.

I'm right back on the fitness hype and by the summer, I'm hoping to get with new girls and start living my life again.

You can't go wrong with this forum though, some very supportive people who give good advice. Lots of people to help you through these tough times, but the most important tho is taking one day at a time.

February 13, 2015

Here's the hard facts for you, dude. You were with her and at the end she told you that she met someone 3 months earlier. Dude, she was cheating on you. I can probably speculate that she started a lot of arguments and became distant towards you. Basically, something probably felt very off with you.

Dude, she was dating someone else while she was with you. She developed feelings for someone else and as soon as she pulled the trigger on you, she immediately jumped on to this new guy. No mourning the loss of you. No mourning the loss of your relationship. Normally, you don't jump onto someone that quickly without something being there already. She felt comfortable enough with this dude to enter into a new relationship immediately.

So, she moved on to someone else. But, here's the rub. Probably, the reason she's still contacting you is because she KNOWS she did you wrong. She knows she cheated and dropped you for another guy. She knows that she willingly allowed herself to get close to another dude while she should have been committed to you. She's had enough time to think about that and she feels guilty. Therefore, she contacts you periodically to see where your head is at.

For whatever reason, a lot of girls hate the fact that there might be someone on this planet that hates them or doesn't think they're a nice person. SO, she contacting you to see if that's the case. When you respond back, then she can ease her guilt. She can say to herself, "OH! We broke up. I still have my new man. And me and my Ex are still cool! Life is good!" You eased her guilt until the next time she starts feeling guilty again.

She doesn't want you back, but she doesn't want you to hate her either. You need to go No Contact (NC) on her. Dude, she's moved onto someone else and you need to do the same. She broke it off with you, therefore she made the choice to have YOU out of HER life. She placed a higher value on this other dude than you. Since she did this, she has no right to dictate what kind of relationship she wants with you. Plus, when you go NC, you give her NOTHING when she's feeling guilty. She has no idea where your head is at. She has no idea if you hate her or just don't care. She has no idea if your happy or sad. She has no idea if your still pining for her, or indifferent towards her. You give her NOTHING!

Then, she has no choice but to hold onto that guilt. And we don't do this to be vindictive. We do it so they can learn from it. That you can't treat people the way she treated you and expect people to be okay with it.

NC is for you. Not for her. It's a tool for you to use to help you heal from this and move on with your life.

Legendary post.

Was hard for me to read as this happened to me but it 100% bang on.

Cut all contact OP, she is dead to you now, act accordingly.

February 14, 2015

Ignore her and simply disappear, she needs to know what it feels like to really lose you. She won't get to feel that if you still reply to her, it sends her the message that she's still got you on the hook. She clicks her fingers and you're still there while she's dating another guy... how does that make you look?

Never be afraid to walk away, don't stick around pleading/begging/crying as if you have no value because all this will do is make the other guy look better.

"I know I will never love again if it's not her.."

Never say stuff like this again.. it's simply not true, don't be a defeatist. A couple years down the line, you might not even remember her face.

February 14, 2015

Thank you guys, very useful advices which I think I knew but refuse to acknowledge inside. I really wish she's still the same person I loved before. But things changed and I just got to accept it. I will b strong maintain NC and hopefully let it all go...

February 16, 2015

So now the latest update is she restricted her views on Facebook and she's holidaying with her new love on a sunny island. I can't see her posts although she said she wants to know my updates. Someone sent those pictures to me and I just felt awful.

I had a hope that one day I can win her back again and I has subscribed to some websites that teach u how to get your ex back. But once I saw she's so happily holidaying just after we broke up, every part of me is torn now.

Thank guys for your advices. I hope I can pick myself up soon and forget about her. Things dont change people do.

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My ex gf of 2 yrs left me for another guy but I want her back.

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