7 year breakup, I'm a mess

[Polydeuces66]

My girlfriend and I have been together for 7 blissful years, although we first met 15 years ago when we were 12.

I was ready to propose to her and got her a ring a year ago. I was setting up a date to propose until my mom intervened. My mom means well but sometimes I feel like I should have just trusted my gut feelings. She said that I should wait until I was making enough money first and then propose. I was still in school after discovering what I really wanted to do with my life and was studying for my CCNA networking certifications. So I decided to finish school, pass my license tests, get a new job, and then propose.

 

Well around June of last year my girlfriend and I went to the Bahamas. She got drunk and she started crying her eyes out and begged me to marry her. Well I did, right then and there but I didn't have the ring. In her mind, this was a complete sham and things started going down hill... fast...

 

I told her it has always been my intention to marry her, but because of the cruise she always felt it was because she begged me and I complied. This started a snowball effect, next thing I knew she started labeling me as not being ambitious, that I do anything she says and I don't have my own thoughts. She didn't want her life to end up like her parents. (Her mom is the bread winner and resents her husband) This felt like a slap in the face because I knew I would eventually make enough to support a family. Unfortunately she makes almost double what I make, so I didn't have a real counter argument.

 

After the constant berating I became a mess. I had straight A's in college, and had only a few months left, but after I started failing almost every class and needed to retake many classes even though I was almost done. My 3.98 GPA plummeted to 3.43. I found it difficult to study. I started to really think I was worthless.

 

Well last November, I thought that I really needed to get my act together, and I tried to find a job with no avail. Despite my daily searching I couldn't find a job. Well, mom strikes again because she asked my girlfriend what the current status of everything was instead of asking me. This sets off another chain of events that seemed to have reaffirmed everything my girlfriend thought about me. She gave me an ultimatum, unless I could find a job in December we were over.

 

Well by the end of November, I finally passed repeated classes and I only have one left, but I did something that I might regret for the rest of my life... I failed my CCNA test but I told everyone I passed... I know why I did it... She was having doubts in me and I thought that lying would help me keep her longer until I was actually able to pass. If I think back, this is probably the turning point.

 

I was stricken with guilt, I'm thinking this is what some people who cheated on their girlfriends must have felt like. I pulled away, I shut down, I didn't know how to communicate anymore. I couldn't tell her why even after having my certifications I still couldn't find a job. December 24th rolls around and I panicked. I felt her pull away we didn't hug we didn't kiss it was as if I was background noise to the chatter amongst our friends. She left with her friends without even saying goodbye to me while I was at the bar grabbing another drink with my friend. Instead of acting like an adult, I texted her some sloppy half drunk text about how we should go on a break. I know I'm stupid, I asked her for a break on Christmas Eve... However, I genuinely felt like I needed one to get my affairs in order. I thought a break would be the perfect opportunity to get my life back on track.

 

We pretended like nothing happened for Christmas day. Then on December 26 we went on an official break.

 

I went full force into getting a job. I passed my CCNA, I graduated and raised my GPA to a 3.72. I even workout everyday and lost 10 pounds.

 

Then on February 1, I sent her a Valentines hand written letter asking if we can reconcile after I find a job. She said she needed time to think, which of course I understood. Her best friend's new boyfriend then contacts me and asks me to move on with my life. I went into full panic mode at 3am and wrote a crazy 2 page letter about how I really wanted to work on myself for our future together but if she has moved on and we were broken up that I needed her to tell me so that I could start shielding myself from being hurt. Obviously that didn't help. I wrote her a second letter as an apology to my crazy ramblings. To this she called me up and asked to meet. It has been a month since we saw each other. She told me that she was trying to get over me and my letter to her caused her to burst out crying in the middle of her job. She told me it's impossible for her to stop loving me after 7 years, but in order to give me a true answer if she'll take me back she needed to think about it logically and to do that she needed to make sure there were no emotions involved. She said that even though this is a break she might not return and that I should have thought about the repercussions before initiating it. It ended with her crying and we hugged it out and we left after 4 hours chatting and catching up. She said that maybe it might just be better if we broke up so that we could both prepare in case this was a breakup.

 

Well, we broke up but we kept in touch through text. However, whenever I texted her something she would reply after several hours. Last night she texted something about how her cognitive side completely shut me out already. This stung. Then the next day she texts me something again. In another bout of irrational thought I told her maybe it might just be better if we stopped communication altogether.

 

After this roller-coaster of emotions. I don't know what to do anymore. I really want her back. What should I do? I still haven't found a job because I lack experience in the field but at least I'm starting to get interviews, and I have a Summer Internship lined up in case I don't land a job before than. I'm no longer thinking rationally. I'm afraid that I may have pushed her away forever already. Our lives are so intertwined that I see her name come up everywhere. We share so many things including a family plan for our phones. My niece is always asking where her favorite auntie is. I really think that if I had just proposed to her in The beginning of 2014, we would be happily married by now. She told me that had I asked in the beginning of 2014 she would have said yes in a heartbeat, but hindsight is always 20/20.

Edited February 13, 2015 by Polydeuces66
Grammar issues

[Cedar27]

How old are you two? She never forgave you because she begged for you to marry her on the spot, you said yes, but you happened to not have a ring at that moment? Sounds kind of ridiculous if you ask me.

 

She also gave you an ultimatum to either get a job within like a month of getting your license or the relationship was over? Sounds to me like she was just looking for a way out, and with our economy being what it is….she probably bet on you not finding one to make her exit.

 

She sounds like she has some growing up to do, and you as well. Due to your ages…I am assuming she probably never dated anyone else correct? Probably a case of GIGS if it makes you feel better…but GIGS is more of an explanation than a crystal ball into any possible reconciliation.

 

As much as it pains me to say this…..I think you need to quit contacting her. She has shown NO indication that she wants the relationship right now, and being a desperate whiny guy begging for forgiveness will only push her farther away. You said your peace. I'd say don't contact her and let her reach out to you. Try not to make the initial contact unless its many months/years down the road. You really want her to come back on her own doing. I know, guys usually do the pursuing in our society but to be honest you have to take a chance here and see if her love is strong enough to come running back. Gender roles aside, if a woman truly regrets her decision and wants you in her life she will try and find a way to do it. Or if she does but still doesn't reach out she has ego/stubbornness issues that she puts above meaningful relationships, and you don't want that anyway.

 

Right now she just assumes you are always going to be there for her. There's been a huge power shift. Assert your self worth man! Sure you have things to work on, and you realize you made some mistakes. But you've already told her this. Walk away because talking to her at this point is doing you NO good.

 

You can't be her friend, because you really want to be with her and that's not a true friendship. Until she changes her mind you really shouldn't talk to her again. This puts the ball in her court. I know its hard to hear, and I know you think you can apply some amazing strategy to get her back….but right now its really early in the game. You need to go NC for a WHILE, at the very minimum.

 

You might be afraid that you pushed her out of your life forever, but there's no telling if you did or not. What I can tell you is hanging around her and not letting her miss you is going to FOR SURE make your chances worse. She still has feelings for you! There are men on this board who would KILL for that kind of hope. Don't ruin your chances. If it is GIGS its possible that after a year or two of being on her own and meeting a-hole guys who want to use her, lie, cheat, etc she might have a light bulb go off and remember how good of a guy you were. Hold onto that as your reasoning NOT to contact her, because if you keep reaching out right now you'll just dig yourself into a hole. At the same time, don't hold onto hope irrationally….date other women, work on yourself, accept that its possible she won't come back. You can leave a door open for her and another open for a new love. Just don't seriously get involved with anyone unless you either a: have moved past your ex pretty well, or b: the new woman sweeps you off your feet and makes you forget about your ex.

 

Oh, and as for your "bout of irrational thought" where you said you shouldn't even talk with her anymore? Psst….I have a secret for you. That IS a rational thought. I mean how has continued communication been working for you lately? You see, during a break up what we think is "rational" is often the exact opposite of what we should be doing.

It reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where George decides to do everything opposite of his instincts, and his life magically falls into place…..remember that the next time you think about reaching out.

 

You might think it's rational to try to "win her back" with heartfelt letters, poems, texts, negotiations, bargaining tactics, etc. Granted this could work in some rare cases, but you have already tried a lot of that so you aren't in that category. In addition, if your ex clearly said she needs space, all you are doing is being a pest by continuing contact. Be a man and respect her wishes, and she will respect YOU more in the end.

Edited February 13, 2015 by Cedar27

[Hija77]

Have you seen the thread about the rules of no contact? If not, read it and then do it. It's no wonder you're such a mess. This situation has been dragging on for ages! Why are you putting yourself through such misery? You may have initiated the break, but it seems as though she was already long gone. Continuing to contact her after she had a virtual stranger call, and tell you to move on with your life is incomprehensible to me. Why would you do that to yourself? Go no contact. Become a ghost. Pretend she died if you have to. Quit.torturing.yourself.

[lolablue17]

1. She made a big deal about your proposal timing.

2. She gave you an ultimatum to find a job or else...

 

Each and every one of those two can imply many things, anything but love. When you love someone, you don't make ultimatums such as this, and you don't look for reasons to be distant. She doesn't love you, and anyway her view about marriage is somehow disturbing.

 

Another thing - It seems like you were too dependent. You need to grow some independency and you can't do it with her. You need to be on your own. For your self, not just to eliminate the pain. Dont worry about the pain, it will weaken and disappear in time, as long as you take care of yourself.

 

Tell her that it's over "don't contact me again". Don't say "maybe we should bla bla bla..." No "maybe" and no "we", there is only "you". There is no "we", and for god sake stop with the "maybe". Knock on the table - enough is enough.

 

I'm warning you - As soon as you are cold to her and actually say "its over, we're done", she might try to reach for you. She will see that you're now independent, and that you doesn't need her anymore, and you're moving on fast, she might want you back. If so, don't take her back. She is not the right woman for you.

Edited February 13, 2015 by lolablue17

[Polydeuces66]

How old are you two? She never forgave you because she begged for you to marry her on the spot, you said yes, but you happened to not have a ring at that moment? Sounds kind of ridiculous if you ask me.

 

She also gave you an ultimatum to either get a job within like a month of getting your license or the relationship was over? Sounds to me like she was just looking for a way out, and with our economy being what it is….she probably bet on you not finding one to make her exit.

 

She sounds like she has some growing up to do, and you as well. Due to your ages…I am assuming she probably never dated anyone else correct? Probably a case of GIGS if it makes you feel better…but GIGS is more of an explanation than a crystal ball into any possible reconciliation.

 

As much as it pains me to say this…..I think you need to quit contacting her. She has shown NO indication that she wants the relationship right now, and being a desperate whiny guy begging for forgiveness will only push her farther away. You said your peace. I'd say don't contact her and let her reach out to you. Try not to make the initial contact unless its many months/years down the road. You really want her to come back on her own doing. I know, guys usually do the pursuing in our society but to be honest you have to take a chance here and see if her love is strong enough to come running back. Gender roles aside, if a woman truly regrets her decision and wants you in her life she will try and find a way to do it. Or if she does but still doesn't reach out she has ego/stubbornness issues that she puts above meaningful relationships, and you don't want that anyway.

 

Right now she just assumes you are always going to be there for her. There's been a huge power shift. Assert your self worth man! Sure you have things to work on, and you realize you made some mistakes. But you've already told her this. Walk away because talking to her at this point is doing you NO good.

 

You can't be her friend, because you really want to be with her and that's not a true friendship. Until she changes her mind you really shouldn't talk to her again. This puts the ball in her court. I know its hard to hear, and I know you think you can apply some amazing strategy to get her back….but right now its really early in the game. You need to go NC for a WHILE, at the very minimum.

 

You might be afraid that you pushed her out of your life forever, but there's no telling if you did or not. What I can tell you is hanging around her and not letting her miss you is going to FOR SURE make your chances worse. She still has feelings for you! There are men on this board who would KILL for that kind of hope. Don't ruin your chances. If it is GIGS its possible that after a year or two of being on her own and meeting a-hole guys who want to use her, lie, cheat, etc she might have a light bulb go off and remember how good of a guy you were. Hold onto that as your reasoning NOT to contact her, because if you keep reaching out right now you'll just dig yourself into a hole. At the same time, don't hold onto hope irrationally….date other women, work on yourself, accept that its possible she won't come back. You can leave a door open for her and another open for a new love. Just don't seriously get involved with anyone unless you either a: have moved past your ex pretty well, or b: the new woman sweeps you off your feet and makes you forget about your ex.

 

Oh, and as for your "bout of irrational thought" where you said you shouldn't even talk with her anymore? Psst….I have a secret for you. That IS a rational thought. I mean how has continued communication been working for you lately? You see, during a break up what we think is "rational" is often the exact opposite of what we should be doing.

It reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where George decides to do everything opposite of his instincts, and his life magically falls into place…..remember that the next time you think about reaching out.

 

You might think it's rational to try to "win her back" with heartfelt letters, poems, texts, negotiations, bargaining tactics, etc. Granted this could work in some rare cases, but you have already tried a lot of that so you aren't in that category. In addition, if your ex clearly said she needs space, all you are doing is being a pest by continuing contact. Be a man and respect her wishes, and she will respect YOU more in the end.

 

We’re both 28, she’s one month younger than me.

I didn't think about it that way, it could be she’s been trying to push me away but said those things as a way to sugar coat what she really thought.

We've always been on different mile stones since the beginning of our relationship. She graduated college at a regular age and work several jobs already, from banking, to insurance, to working as a claim manager for a law firm. Now she works for the government as a social worker. I've been working the same IT-Helpdesk position for the past 3 years. I was in the same college as a science major, but I dropped out and went to another school with an IT career in mind but this wasn't until after she already graduated. She was generally very supportive of me for 7 years, and I think the 7-year itch and the cruise got her thinking I may never change.

We both were in 4 relationships that ranged between 6 months to 2 years prior to us becoming an item. Meeting up a month later after the break she said that she also needed to grow up too.

I’m not sure what GIGS is.

NC is really hard especially when for the past 7 years we saw each other almost every day. Her dad already started calling me son and already gave me to go ahead on marriage, and my family adores her. I will persevere though. Maybe I’ll date lightly just to see what it’s like now. We started dating right after smart phones became a widely accepted thing. I feel like I've been immersed in a bubble that just popped and now the dating scene has shifted.

In 2 months I may have to see her because a group of us are going to Coachella and we’re all staying in the same house.

Any thoughts on how I should act? That’s really something of a soft goal on becoming the best version of me.

I’ll use this time wisely

[Polydeuces66]

Have you seen the thread about the rules of no contact? If not, read it and then do it. It's no wonder you're such a mess. This situation has been dragging on for ages! Why are you putting yourself through such misery? You may have initiated the break, but it seems as though she was already long gone. Continuing to contact her after she had a virtual stranger call, and tell you to move on with your life is incomprehensible to me. Why would you do that to yourself? Go no contact. Become a ghost. Pretend she died if you have to. Quit.torturing.yourself.

 

Yea I read the NC post, but it feels wrong. I guess I'll let irrationality steer me for now. I've been going out a lot lately as a way to keep my mind off everything. Since V-day is rolling around I decided to drive 5 hours away and learn Ice Climbing.

[Polydeuces66]

1. She made a big deal about your proposal timing.

2. She gave you an ultimatum to find a job or else...

 

Each and every one of those two can imply many things, anything but love. When you love someone, you don't make ultimatums such as this, and you don't look for reasons to be distant. She doesn't love you, and anyway her view about marriage is somehow disturbing.

 

Another thing - It seems like you were too dependent. You need to grow some independency and you can't do it with her. You need to be on your own. For your self, not just to eliminate the pain. Dont worry about the pain, it will weaken and disappear in time, as long as you take care of yourself.

 

Tell her that it's over "don't contact me again". Don't say "maybe we should bla bla bla..." No "maybe" and no "we", there is only "you". There is no "we", and for god sake stop with the "maybe". Knock on the table - enough is enough.

 

I'm warning you - As soon as you are cold to her and actually say "its over, we're done", she might try to reach for you. She will see that you're now independent, and that you doesn't need her anymore, and you're moving on fast, she might want you back. If so, don't take her back. She is not the right woman for you.

 

Yea, you’re probably right. It’s painful thinking that she no longer loves me. The ultimatum definitely felt fishy. From our last meet up at a tea house, I found that her best friend is actually angry with her and is pushing her to take me back and is not on her side, and the only one that’s on her side is her best friend’s new boyfriend since he also came from a long term relationship. I’m really weary of him, but I know my ex’s temperament and she has a “bro code” …. At least I’d like to think so… I also want to talk to her friends that they should be supporting her since they're her friends, but I don't know how to open that can of worms.

 

I was definitely dependent on her and on my parents. I made a decision to move out a week ago, and am currently living with my sister. I guess this is a soft adaptation before really moving out once I get a higher paying job.

 

My last text to her was kind of final. It said something about how I wouldn't be able to deal with the pain that comes with slowly watching her drift out of love with me so I thought it was best if we stopped all forms of communication so I can adapt into a life without her in it. This is the abridged version. The real text.... is much longer....

[seminoles84]

I also want to talk to her friends that they should be supporting her since they're her friends, but I don't know how to open that can of worms.

 

.

 

 

Yeah.......... terrible idea. Keep mutual friends, her friends, your friends out of the middle of it.

[Hija77]

NC always feels wrong at first. :-( It isn't fun, but it is necessary...especially in a situation such as yours. Quit talking to your friends about her!! It really doesn't matter if they agree with what she's doing. It's already done. They can't control her behavior any more than you can. Trust the advice you're getting here. NC will be hard, and as emotional as you are, you may not see improvement in your mental state for awhile. BUT,

You've been going back and forth with your ex for months now. Would you rather start letting go now, or waste an indeterminate amount of additional time putting yourself through the emotional wringer? Choose wisely. You still have options. They just no longer include her.

[Cedar27]

I’m not sure what GIGS is.

It stands for Grass is Greener Syndrome. Where one partner, usually in their early twenties gets cold feet and wants to see what else is out there. They suddenly feel trapped in an adult relationship, bored of familiarity, and want to explore life and find themselves. Young people who are immature, haven't had much life experience or who haven't dated much usually are prime candidates for GIGS. Sometimes GIGS is short lived and they come running back when they realize the world isn't what they seemed. Sometimes it takes longer. Others find the grass is actually greener for them.

 

NC is really hard especially when for the past 7 years we saw each other almost every day. Her dad already started calling me son and already gave me to go ahead on marriage, and my family adores her. I will persevere though.

If anything the fact that the two of you were so close for so long means that there is a higher likelihood she will come back, if it makes you feel any better. You guys had a very significant relationship, with genuine love, trust and devotion. She isn't going to forget about you in a month, in a year, or in a decade. I think if she has any feelings left for you at all, and you just sit around and do nothing….there is a decent chance she'll come around one day again. Don't bet on it….but your situation increases your odds of reconciliation versus other relationships which are shorter lived, plagued with cheating/abuse, etc.

 

In 2 months I may have to see her because a group of us are going to Coachella and we’re all staying in the same house.

Any thoughts on how I should act? That’s really something of a soft goal on becoming the best version of me.

I’ll use this time wisely

 

The trip sounds like it would be awkward as hell. If I had to go on a trip with my ex who no longer wanted to be with me, I think i'd be absolutely miserable. I wouldn't go, but that's just me.

 

One way of thinking is that you could use the opportunity as a way to win her back, because some say you need to be around your ex to reignite the spark again. But that's only true if your ex is open to the idea of reconciliation. If they just want to be left alone, want to be single, etc. this type of tactic will just annoy the hell out of them.

 

I would try to disappear from her life man, I really would. I know we all like to feel that we can wiggle our way back into our exes life and somehow sweep them off their feet again, but in a lot of cases this ends up blowing up in our faces and pushing them farther away. The best thing you can do is own up to any part you played in the break up, sincerely apologize, start making positive changes in your life, and tell her if she ever changes her mind to give you a call. And then poof….you are gone. It really sucks, and I had to learn this the hard way…as many of us do. There are endless youtube videos on strategies on how to win your ex back with text messages, random meet ups, etc. We usually try these tactics before realizing that NC really is our only option, and thats OK. Sometimes we have to test different strategies out. But you know what the definition of insanity is right? At a certain point we have to realize these attempts of reconciliation haven't worked.

 

Instead of respecting them and giving them space, you are bugging them. Instead of letting them go out into the world and get dumped, hurt, used, etc and come running back, you try to play god and speed up the reconciliation process to no avail. True, there's no one size fits all answer though to reconciliation…but I've found that no contact indefinitely really is easier and more effective versus reconciliation tactics (which are usually implanted too soon anyway). If you are ever going to reach out to her again, think like 6 months minimum….but again i'd really advise to allow her to be the one who comes back. She knows where you stand.

Edited February 14, 2015 by Cedar27

[Polydeuces66]

It stands for Grass is Greener Syndrome. Where one partner, usually in their early twenties gets cold feet and wants to see what else is out there. They suddenly feel trapped in an adult relationship, bored of familiarity, and want to explore life and find themselves. Young people who are immature, haven't had much life experience or who haven't dated much usually are prime candidates for GIGS. Sometimes GIGS is short lived and they come running back when they realize the world isn't what they seemed. Sometimes it takes longer. Others find the grass is actually greener for them.

 

 

If anything the fact that the two of you were so close for so long means that there is a higher likelihood she will come back, if it makes you feel any better. You guys had a very significant relationship, with genuine love, trust and devotion. She isn't going to forget about you in a month, in a year, or in a decade. I think if she has any feelings left for you at all, and you just sit around and do nothing….there is a decent chance she'll come around one day again. Don't bet on it….but your situation increases your odds of reconciliation versus other relationships which are shorter lived, plagued with cheating/abuse, etc.

 

 

 

The trip sounds like it would be awkward as hell. If I had to go on a trip with my ex who no longer wanted to be with me, I think i'd be absolutely miserable. I wouldn't go, but that's just me.

 

One way of thinking is that you could use the opportunity as a way to win her back, because some say you need to be around your ex to reignite the spark again. But that's only true if your ex is open to the idea of reconciliation. If they just want to be left alone, want to be single, etc. this type of tactic will just annoy the hell out of them.

 

I would try to disappear from her life man, I really would. I know we all like to feel that we can wiggle our way back into our exes life and somehow sweep them off their feet again, but in a lot of cases this ends up blowing up in our faces and pushing them farther away. The best thing you can do is own up to any part you played in the break up, sincerely apologize, start making positive changes in your life, and tell her if she ever changes her mind to give you a call. And then poof….you are gone. It really sucks, and I had to learn this the hard way…as many of us do. There are endless youtube videos on strategies on how to win your ex back with text messages, random meet ups, etc. We usually try these tactics before realizing that NC really is our only option, and thats OK. Sometimes we have to test different strategies out. But you know what the definition of insanity is right? At a certain point we have to realize these attempts of reconciliation haven't worked.

 

Instead of respecting them and giving them space, you are bugging them. Instead of letting them go out into the world and get dumped, hurt, used, etc and come running back, you try to play god and speed up the reconciliation process to no avail. True, there's no one size fits all answer though to reconciliation…but I've found that no contact indefinitely really is easier and more effective versus reconciliation tactics (which are usually implanted too soon anyway). If you are ever going to reach out to her again, think like 6 months minimum….but again i'd really advise to allow her to be the one who comes back. She knows where you stand.

 

Thanks, not contacting my ex during Valentines Weekend was extremely difficult. I decided to join a group of people to try Ice Climbing for the first time so I was able to temporarily get my mind off of her. I'm not sure if no contact is working, but I'll persevere. I'm wondering if I do end up going to Coachella before we are able to reconcile should I ignore her the whole time? We're staying in a rented house with 10 other people.

[NoLeafClover]

The problem lies that she is finding excuse to break up with you..what girlfriend that cares about her bf puts an ultimatum about them getting a job while they are still in school?

You are not married to her and you don't have to support her financially do why is she asking you to find a job while in school.

If she wanted to be with you she would be supportive and not make ultimatums and deadlines that lead to breakups.

Step back and look at where your relationship was on her end..all the arrows are pointing and leading towards her final decisions toward a break up. Even if you found a job she would be finding something else to put an ultimatum on. Perhaps not making as much as her or not going out as much or not asking for her hand sooner etc etc.

Arrows all points to the ultimate break up.

 

on the other hand,

1.you should not lie. Never ever lie.. whether it's about your certificate or taking a dump in the toilet.

Which makes me wonder, to take the test you don't need to go to school. I am in i.t and I never heard of any cisco or Microsoft certificates requiring class participation. If you have a 4 year bachelors degree you have outperformed your little certificates..so something doesn't seem right with that but the hen again your major might not i.t related.

2. Never involve parents. Parents are always trouble. You are two adults and your mom should stay out of it. No matter how close you and your mom are or she and your mom are...there is a thin line. Let it be a lesson to your future relationships.

3. Never hide or change who you are or what you doing . If you ex thinks you are not good enough because you can't find a job though you are trying , or are not ambitious enough and she is walking around like hot sh*t throwing it in your face because she finally can afford a full tank ...then you need to tell her to Gtfo.

 

if you keep lowering your head and jump everytime she says jump... than you are only gonna let her walk all over you...so she would technically be right. Do you want that?

 

If I were you, I would grab my balls make sure they are there.

Once checked, go by my business , don't talk to her don't message her don't pick up. Delete delete delete. She can have her grass greener syndrome and go do her thing. You will find better and if not u won't be so stressed out.

 

There are plenty of women out there that will respect you more. It's your choice to stay and cling on your ex who doesn't want you or find others who will.

Edited February 16, 2015 by NoLeafClover