Author adarling Posted February 13, 2015 Author Posted February 13, 2015 Iknowme, is a perfect screen name, because you truly do know yourself. I know that I can't deal with being a booty call. That I want more than that. That crave a real connection and not empty sex. I appreciate that you appreciate that I kept trying here, despite the insults. haha. But i think that was more tough love than anything. And I get it. My mind does play little devious tricks on me. When I was hanging out with him there were all these red flags "no no, he's a jerk" "he is a slut" "he is using you". Then after I ruined it, I was like "nooo, what did I do" "he was prolly a really nice guy and I was just freaking out"...in a nutshell anyways. So...just to be clear, toilet papering his house is not an option? Or showing up and slapping him and then running away? Or stealing his dog? Or faking a pregnancy? .......aw, haha. I'm sorry, bad joke. No! I will not do any of those things. I have a deal with barcaode
Author adarling Posted February 13, 2015 Author Posted February 13, 2015 (edited) Ok, one last question.... say I hadn't slept with him on the first date. Say I didn't run over to his house when he asked me. Say I held out and made him take me on dates. Say I never texted him needy crazy stuff. Say I was a secure woman who valued myself. Does anyone think it could have been different? Edited February 13, 2015 by adarling spelling
CarrieT Posted February 13, 2015 Posted February 13, 2015 Ok, one last question.... say I hadn't slept with him on the first date. Say I didn't run over to his house when he asked me. Say I held out and made him take me on dates. Say I never texted him needy crazy stuff. Say I was a secure woman who valued myself. Does anyone think it could have been different? Say, say, say.... Everything in life can be different - but one will never know. Take all this as a learning situation to not act like a Crazy Nut with the next one. Get to know someone before being intimate with them and don't glom onto them as though they are the ONE AND ONLY PERSON EVER - because they are not. 1
SycamoreCircle Posted February 13, 2015 Posted February 13, 2015 Ok, one last question.... say I hadn't slept with him on the first date. Say I didn't run over to his house when he asked me. Say I held out and made him take me on dates. Say I never texted him needy crazy stuff. Say I was a secure woman who valued myself. Does anyone think it could have been different? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7Mi77iqMjA 1
Author adarling Posted February 13, 2015 Author Posted February 13, 2015 Sycamore!!!! Lionel Richie fan club!!! Hell yea!! You rock man
Author adarling Posted February 13, 2015 Author Posted February 13, 2015 (edited) I can't even tell you how awesome I think that is Sycamore!!! Holy cow. Edited February 13, 2015 by adarling spelling
Author adarling Posted February 13, 2015 Author Posted February 13, 2015 And Carrie T...seriously I have had enough. I get it!!!!! I admitted it. How many times does someone have to say I acted crazy. Yes. Yes. Yes. I ****ing get it. Thank you.
Author adarling Posted February 14, 2015 Author Posted February 14, 2015 Seriously, it really doesn't help that everyone's like: You're ****ing crazy. Thanks . Thank you. thank you. Youre all a bunch of dicks. so eat a bag of dicks.
CarrieT Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 And Carrie T...seriously I have had enough. I get it!!!!! I admitted it. How many times does someone have to say I acted crazy. Yes. Yes. Yes. I ****ing get it. Thank you. Then stop asking if/how things could have been different. Learn from it and move on. You are dwelling on it too much - and there is no need to call us names; it just perpetuates the craziness... 2
SycamoreCircle Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QEDb3xzdec 1
Author adarling Posted February 14, 2015 Author Posted February 14, 2015 Thanks agian Carrie T. Thanks for calling me crazy yet again. Even after I told you I really had enough of people calling me that. Please be more creative with your words, more insightful or please don't respond at all.
Author adarling Posted February 14, 2015 Author Posted February 14, 2015 I could honestly do without anymore Carrie feedback. thanks but...no thanks.
Author adarling Posted February 14, 2015 Author Posted February 14, 2015 Sycamore: perfect! Thank you )))
SycamoreCircle Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 Sycamore: perfect! Thank you ))) Music is the refuge of souls wounded by happiness. -Emil Cioran 1
Author adarling Posted February 14, 2015 Author Posted February 14, 2015 (edited) yes yes yes Edited February 14, 2015 by adarling spelling
CaliGypsy Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 Ok, one last question.... say I hadn't slept with him on the first date. Say I didn't run over to his house when he asked me. Say I held out and made him take me on dates. Say I never texted him needy crazy stuff. Say I was a secure woman who valued myself. Does anyone think it could have been different? you said you were different in your previous relationship. I think this guys behavior brought out your inner crazy. I think you are better off without him. He's never going to give you what you need. He will always leave you frustrated. I'm saying all this from previous experience. I never knew where I stood with that guy and it drove me crazy. The man I'm with now, he's perfect for me. He's kind, he calls, he texts, he shows his affection in many ways that are meaningful to me. The road we travelled to get to this place hasn't been easy, but that's how life is sometimes . Don't settle for some jerk who doesn't value you. There is someone else out there who will. 1
Iknowme Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 Yeah it would have definitly been different. There are 3 things that could have happened. 1- he could have decided you werent worth the time and effort 2- he could have keot pursuing until he got sex or fwb if you werent a hassle and 3- he could kept chasing and if you two where perfectly compatible he may have stopped being a player and had a relationship with you. But does it matter? Players are never the kind of guy you want to end up with. Far larger chance of cheating, 98% they have emotional issues, probably misogynistic, and the reason they are with you is because they cant do any better. Meaning you are settling with a fked up, idiot, with few morales. They also probably arent making something of there life if thats how they are spending there time. And yes i would so most players are idiots vecause in all likelihood they lack emmotional intelligence and intimacy(this whole belief the only women become attached by sex and require an emotional connection is bs). Don't be tricked by a guys smooth words. Look at his actions, that friend of his was probably trying to warn you. Be happy you found our how much of a dick he is before you got in a relationship. Also your not crazy, everyone here has done stupid things and had to learn. Failure is but a lesson. And trust me you didnt miss out ob anything with this guy.
Author adarling Posted February 14, 2015 Author Posted February 14, 2015 No Iknowme, I wish I could say he was a loser. He is not. He was in the military? or army?, then was a cop, now an investigator, and is going to law school now. I cannot speak to his emotional stuff. I do know he was married, divorced her cuz she got fat (he was early 20s I don't know), then he was in another long term relationship for 6 years. He has been single for two. So, how much of a player is he, I am not sure. Maybe he is just enjoying being single. My fear is the third option you presented could have been a possibility. ANd no! I don't think he would have cheated. He is all about loyalty, and honor blah blah. He told me that he is the type that is very loyal once it is earned. I have no doubt he will marry soonish (he is 33, I really think he will choose someone). He is an alpha and he will definitely do this. I'm not sure if he had his own thread on here if there wouldn't be a whole steam of other responses. I bet the jist of them would be: she's crazy, drop the bitch. I don't blame him for how he reacted to me. I don't like that he wasn't romantic. But...****...women and their goddamn expectations.
Author adarling Posted February 14, 2015 Author Posted February 14, 2015 Can I just say I know everyone is gonna freak that he divorced his first wife because she gained weight, let's try to understand he was a young hot man, who wanted to be attracted to his wife. and he said he really tired, and tried to get her a trainer and a nutritionist but I guess things never got better ....that's all I know.
Author adarling Posted February 14, 2015 Author Posted February 14, 2015 And also, Ikonwme, his friend also told me if he found the right one he would def settle down.
Author adarling Posted February 14, 2015 Author Posted February 14, 2015 (edited) Wow. I hate to say this guys... I'm just not sure. Just not sure. How do you know if you didn't lose out, if you never really knew what you had. Edited February 14, 2015 by adarling spelling
Author adarling Posted February 14, 2015 Author Posted February 14, 2015 He def seemed like a dick to me but only after he decided he didn't like me. When he thought he liked me he was charming. but omg omg omg. Here I go again...talking myself into the fantasy. **** me.
Iknowme Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 Maybe he's not a player and maybe you did screw up. Honestly, just learn from your mistake, don't sleep with guys too quickly, and make him prove himself to you not the other way around. I know its hard to believe at time like these but i promise you will find someone better then him, soon even if you really try, and if you've learnt from your mistakes and don't act desperate you'll get him.
Zahara Posted February 14, 2015 Posted February 14, 2015 (edited) Wow. I hate to say this guys... I'm just not sure. Just not sure. How do you know if you didn't lose out, if you never really knew what you had. You need to stop. This obsession that you have is really disturbing. You will never know what you had because he never wanted it in the first place. Stop fantasizing about this. Focus on your reality. Edited February 14, 2015 by Zahara 4
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