Rentaheart Posted February 13, 2015 Posted February 13, 2015 My relationship was awesome To her, it wasn't. We met in college and have been together for over 5 years. We lived together for half of those years. The relationship was stable, didn't really fight much and we were on the same page for the most part. We were together all day erday and basically only had each other. Something called complacency kicked in and we took a never ending trip to Routineville. She basically became my mother and took care of all my needs while I comfortably sat at my computer for countless hours. What's pathetic is that I was actually content with the mundane lifestyle. She wasn't (didn't realize this until later, I was so selfish/naive) as she applied and got accepted to teach abroad in mid November 2014 (I was super supportive, this was her dream). Within a month, everything started to fall apart. I done gone crazy Her plan was to teach for a year and she constantly reassured me how much she missed me and couldn't wait to come back to live that suburban life (house,kids,stable careers). Little time passed and she absolutely fell in love with the culture, job, and people in Taiwan. She finally admitted that she was unhappy in the states and checked out of the relationship a while ago. She became distant and started spending time with her co-workers. Stayed late in their apartments, went to the countryside hours away and was constantly messaging them hardly talking to me. I became insecure, jealous and apprehensive. We broke up on New Years, lovely beginning to a New Year. I had no idea what break-up protocol was. I followed the book "what not to do after a break-up" like a champ. Wrote her novels of nonsense and how I was so sorry for not doing anything. She ignored me and told me she didn't want to talk because I was scaring her. The Struggle I became a person that I was not familiar with and not proud of. I knew why it happened but I let my emotions just overwhelm me. Nearly two weeks of trying to stay in contact, she made it clear she didn't want to talk. I constantly searched everywhere for answers to help me cope with the situation (Thank you LS ^_^ and other sources), I was losing weight rapidly and had to down nyquil to help me sleep. I just lived in a world of regret and I found a common answer through all the online content. NO CONTACT. So it begins. NC 30! YESH! Drastic changes have occurred since one month ago. Before, I would just lie in bed and endure mental torture with should've, would've, could've. Now, I'm constantly trying to live life and hang out with friends. I still think about her often, but there are moments when I actually don't think about her( SAY WHAAAATT). I have been bettering myself, been going to the gym, practicing the piano, and really trying to step up my game in the career department. The only thing that really blows is that I still dream about her basically every night. So I wake up with the feels, but nothing I can't handle. Still, total inconvenience to start the day...everyday - _ - Lesson Learned It's only been one month, are you really okay? I'm not fully okay, but I know I WILL be okay. She is an awesome person, so I'm glad she was a part of my life. I know it might seem I am blaming myself a lot. I realize it takes two to tango, but her partner basically had one leg and was trying to moonwalk everywhere while she was trying to ballroom. I simply found out I was so dependent on her. What I learned from LS and all the other sources is that happiness can only be found in yourself. A significant other should only add to your happiness where the foundation of it lies within you. I would have loved to live that suburban life with her, but living downtown in a flat as a single guy doesn't sound too shabby. Maybe our paths will cross again one day, for now, I just have to walk mine! PS. I have been lurking on the forums for a while. I usually never post on anything, but I felt like I owe it to everyone for their stories that helped me persevere. I know my story isn't very interesting, no cheating, physical abuse or children involved. I still lost a person very dear to my heart and my best friend for the last few years. I'm not sure if she met someone, plans to come back or anything. Doesn't matter right, just keep chuggin. Thank you again LS! 4
Davidcee Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 That's exactly what happened to me she said she was tired of taking care of me which I felt that she wasn't but that's what she said. And as time went on it is now 6 months that we broke up she says the spark faded and she doesn't have the same feelings for me anymore. I tried to make things work but I haven't talked to her in a month. She told our mutual friend that she still loves me and cares about but it's weird because she won't text me or have anything to do with me. I mean I didn't do anything wrong she just said that she was tired of taking care of me and her sister in law was the one that told her I wasn't worth it. And that's was makes me angry is that she listened to them and just like threw everything away as if it was nothing. We were high school sweet hearts and it is now our first year in college. Do you think there's anything you would of done that I can do to get her back? I mean I try to let it go but I can't just something inside of me doesn't let me.
Author Rentaheart Posted February 17, 2015 Author Posted February 17, 2015 Looking back on it. I would have done a million things different. That's not life though unfortunately. Playing the game would've/should've/could've is basically self-mental torture. You just have to dig deep and let it go. This is your first year in college, you should really cherish those moments. If she really wanted to be with you, she would be with you, simple as that. I'm sure you've read through the forums for countless of hours now, don't chase. I struggle still, but deep down inside, I KNOW I will be fine. But yes, it would be great if she entered back into my life later on, but in reality, I just need to focus on myself. I'm not proud of who I am at the moment, why would she be?
Davidcee Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 yeah thats true i understand what you're saying. it just really sucks how i didn't do anything but have her feel like she was taking care of me. i was always there for her and faithful throughout our relationship. I just feel like this shouldn't have all happened but i guess its life. So you guys don't have any sort of communication going on?
Author Rentaheart Posted February 17, 2015 Author Posted February 17, 2015 She has not contacted me for over a month. I wrote her a novel worth of messages before, but she never replied. She has seen my messages though. Last thing she said was she needed space and good luck on my endeavors - _ -. Pretty Brutal, haha.
Davidcee Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 Wow that's sucks.. It's weird how I have a similar situation as you but it's really helpful. Do you ever think you and your ex will ever get back together? I honestly felt or should I say feel that me and my ex are meant to be we just been through so much that I still can't believe she left me because she thought she was taking care of me but honestly that would of never happened if it wasn't for me. Because before she mentioned that I ignored her for a week because I was mad at her and it was for a stupid reason and she said throughout that who week she cried and cried. Then that's when she talked to her sister in law and thought about everything and felt like she was taking care of me. I asked her one day what would of happened if I would of never ignored you and she said we probably wouldn't be in this situation. That's the thing that kills me is that it's my fault.
PearTree Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 It sounds like you're doing great and you've learned a lot! What is next in your plan of how to better yourself?
Recommended Posts