bu2002 Posted February 13, 2015 Posted February 13, 2015 For those that are currently or have been through online dating, how often would you say the person looked better in person than their pictures? Please also indicate if you are male or female and then see if you can estimate a percentage. Just curious to see if other's experiences are similar. I'm male and it's almost next to never the in-person is better than the pictures. 1
kendahke Posted February 13, 2015 Posted February 13, 2015 For those that are currently or have been through online dating, how often would you say the person looked better in person than their pictures? Please also indicate if you are male or female and then see if you can estimate a percentage. Just curious to see if other's experiences are similar. I'm male and it's almost next to never the in-person is better than the pictures. I'm a female and so far, the pictures always look better than the in person because their pictures are a few years old. I keep my pictures recent within 6-12 months. I'm finding that the men I come across don't post recent pictures.
losangelena Posted February 13, 2015 Posted February 13, 2015 Female here. I'd say that actually, most of the men looked better in person than in photos.
Omei Posted February 13, 2015 Posted February 13, 2015 For online dating I make sure my profile picture is of the current year. for me so far there was a dude who looked handsome in his picture but ended up having rotted teeth so he didn't smile in his pics quite the surprise, and then a cute guy who looked 10x hotter in life because the picture he picked was slightly blurred. That's one thing I don't get surely people know their picture is blurred or too far preventing you from seeing their face if you can't put up a clear picture why bother dating at all because seeing someone in person is an even bigger step.
guest569 Posted February 13, 2015 Posted February 13, 2015 Woman here. Most of the guys look the same as i expected from the photo, A few of them looked better 2 looked worse
rocketman122 Posted February 13, 2015 Posted February 13, 2015 my ex was way better. it was love at first sight for me. others I had, the females looked either better or worse. but 2 really disappointed me. they looked really old and unkept. one of them, her picture looked like it was when she was 35 and then meet her, she looked 50. the other was horribly out of shape and very unkept. not sure about men, but because women take pics of themselves all the time, know how to get good pictures of themselves and its quite misleading at times. you see their first picture and they look nice and slender and really attractive, then see the others and say "WTF, is this the same person?" 1-she only looks as good as her worst photos. dont expect more. 2- those who have pics with sunglasses on are a huge red flag for me. 1 or 2 is fine but most, youre out. 3- only full body pics with low rez and you cant see the face-huge red flag 4-those with bathing suit or slutty/whorish outfits means men will pursue you thinking youre looking for ckk meat sandwich imo
LoveRefreshed Posted February 13, 2015 Posted February 13, 2015 I have met with 5 girls from OKC. All but one of them certainly had their best pictures on the OKC. Two of them were extremely overweight and their profile photos were always just their faces. I still had nice dates with them but I never took them on a second date. I mean why not be honest and not set yourself up for dates with guys that will not take you out again.. that has to hurt more. Might as well put the truth on there and wait to someone who doesn't mind. Okay, one girl just had gained about 20 lbs but was still attractive to me. I don't care as much about weight as it may appear. The girl I am still seeing didn't even have a picture of herself when I messaged her. It was a random picture and you couldn't see her face, it was just a light, she enjoyed the picture. Anyway, the photo she did put up was certainly photoshopped to give a better skin appearance and it was a little bit when she was younger (she is 5 years older than me) and a bit thinner. However, I like her, so it's not a big deal to me. One girl was just as hot as her picture but she was a bit odd, I liked her still.
Rko28 Posted February 13, 2015 Posted February 13, 2015 Male here: When I was on the likes of POF and Tinder I made sure I had them as friends on facebook before meeting, this way you tend to see a wide variety of pictures and ones that are the latest too. I find a lot of girls just take "selfies" and then when you meet you realise they are over-weight.
PegNosePete Posted February 13, 2015 Posted February 13, 2015 Male, in over 30 meets I found that the photos were always a good representation of the real life person. But then I have prosopagnosia so my vote is probably moot.
losangelena Posted February 13, 2015 Posted February 13, 2015 Actually, I amend my statement. There was one guy who had gained 40 pounds, and I am leery too of ones who don't put full body shots. It's like, what are you trying to hide?
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 13, 2015 Posted February 13, 2015 My last date was much cuter in person than her pictures.
UnbreakMyHeart Posted February 13, 2015 Posted February 13, 2015 (edited) I'm female - I think my avatar might just give that away I've been on 5 dates via online dating.. The first had obviously selfied himself to death to get a decent photo in the right light etc and was a bit of a disappointment in the flesh The second was about 30lbs heavier than his photo but he was honest about it before we met - he had been pretty sick and his usual active lifestyle had gone - we just didn't click The third has a pretty intense photography hobby and had taken his photos with the whole light set up etc and they looked pretty arty and also model-like. We went out for around 8 months and he certainly didn't look like that first thing in the morning! The fourth... the fourth still makes me shudder. He was allegedly 48. My 72 year old Dad looks younger and healthier so God only knows how old he really is. He also turned up wearing a brown cardigan with huge brown buttons that had been through the wash cycle at least 234230 times and was full of bobbly bits The fifth was actually much better in the flesh. His photos were all taken on a trip to California and Vegas and he looked like he had too much sun. I was very pleasantly surprised when he turned up. I must have liked what I saw and vice versa as it is date #2 tomorrow! I am no skinny minnie but nor do I need a hoist to get out of a chair. I am brutally honest in my OLD profile even mentioning what clothes size I wear with full length clear photos. I don't see the point in wasting time going on a date with someone who is going to be disappointed when they meet you because of appearance. That has got to be pretty soul destroying. There is someone for everyone so I just don't get why people are not honest upfront Edited February 13, 2015 by UnbreakMyHeart 1
William Posted February 13, 2015 Posted February 13, 2015 As a friendly reminder, our rules disallow publishing of pictures of members or other people here. Feel free to discuss the similarities or disparities between photographs and real life appearance. Thanks!
Ieris Posted February 13, 2015 Posted February 13, 2015 I'm Female ~ most guys I met up with looked better in person and an odd few who looked better in their pictures. I have even come across people who used someone else's picture!! ~_~
Quiet Storm Posted February 13, 2015 Posted February 13, 2015 My son calls this phenomenon "camera angle sorcery". 3
True Gent Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 I'm male, it's a mixed bag for me. Some girls have looked much better IRL, one looked better on her photos and the rest were as expected.
Ninjainpajamas Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 Women can be extremely tricky and creative with their "perfect angle" shots and pictures where they are done up to the "9's", so you have to at times play this little game of trying to figure out what they would look like normally...trying to determine this kind of "average". Often times as well, they're taking pictures with other women...some farther away or different angles, to the point where I can't even tell which girl she is in the photos because I can't match the same girl to all the photos...especially with multiple women smiling and the same skin-tone, hair-color/style. Might be easy to tell if I knew what she looked like already, but with photos it can be confusing. Other times each photo they have looks like almost an entirely different girl, that just throws me off completely. But I look for pictures that I believe to be more natural and (I hate this word but) "organic"...like they are photos of them in their "natural habit"...similar to tigers being photo'd in the wild. I don't mind a photo where they are dressed up and looking nice and professional or what not...but I also like when they're dressed casually or even sporty and not exactly dressed to impressed, as I like women with the dynamic of acquiring both kinds of qualities and not just leading with her looks. I feel like if I can find a woman pretty in a not so great photo, then I will be attracted to her period. What a woman looks like with make-up and dressed up is just a bonus to me. Generally since I follow a few rules I am not often surprised and they tend to be what I expected. I think what is hard to tell from online is how short someone will "look" or be compared to real-life. I'm 6'1 and I don't really ever check a woman's height, but in person some of them were quite short and more petite than I expected...not a bad thing just an observation. But because of how creative and artsy women's photos can be...black/white background, sun shining through by their faces, wearing some costume or other outfit, one a bathing suit shot, the other mountain climbing, next one at a wedding...it's pretty hard to tell at times, and generally because of their mastery with photos/angles they tend not to look better in person than they do in their photos. Also women tend to hide weight well in their photos, so that's another thing to expect in OLD if you're just getting head shots or certain angle shots. Unfortunately you kind of have to play detective with these kinds of things, the last thing you want to do is meet someone you wouldn't be attracted to in person that you could have determined before meeting them online. I'm not a photogenic guy which is a fact not an opinion, I can't take a good photo to save my life. But I'd rather have someone find me attractive in a not so great photo then to post a really good photo of myself and then they be disappointed in person.
Filling your GAP Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 I sadly, have found that only about 10% of the time, do the men look anywhere near what the photos looked like, and it usually isn't in their favor. They have photos from 3, 5, 10, even 15 years ago, then they don't understand when I cut the date after the appetizer! Why is it so hard, especially with every cell phone having a camera these days, to take an up to date, NOT bathroom, NOT with the 8 buddies at the bar, true picture of yourself?!?!? UGH!!
Frank2thepoint Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 Man here. When I did online dating, the few women I had a date with, majority were better looking in person. Pictures are flat and static, so I don't get to see their pantomimes, until in person. Even if a woman seemed average on photo, in person she was much more attractive, because of her voice, facial expressions, laughter, eyes, smile, and minor nuances that makes a woman unique. 1
MissBee Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 (edited) For those that are currently or have been through online dating, how often would you say the person looked better in person than their pictures? Please also indicate if you are male or female and then see if you can estimate a percentage. Just curious to see if other's experiences are similar. I'm male and it's almost next to never the in-person is better than the pictures. With my last two boyfriends that I met online I wasn't all that attracted to their pictures TBH, but liked how we spoke and what they had to say and how their values seemed to mesh with mine, but in real life they were way more attractive and I was pleasantly surprised. They weren't that photogenic for one and then real life also added the dimension of facial expressions, body language, and all the rest that pictures cannot capture. In all my time that I've gone on dates from online I'd say only about 3 of them looked NOTHING like their pictures, most looked like their pictures and a few, like my last 2 boyfriends, were actually much better looking in person. Edited February 15, 2015 by MissBee
PegNosePete Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 They have photos from 3, 5, 10, even 15 years ago, then they don't understand when I cut the date after the appetizer! You stay as long as the appetizer? If I found that someone had done this I wouldn't even stay long enough to be given a menu.
CT98 Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 With the girl I'm currently seeing; I was obviously attracted to her from her pics otherwise I wouldn't have gone on a date, but when she walked in on our first date I was absolutely mesmerised by her. There's so much more to someone than their facial looks, it's the way they carry themselves or their 'vibe' if you like. I don't know I can't explain it, it's just a feeling you get from them.
RedRobin Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 (edited) For the most part, a lot of them looked like their pictures. I've posted pics of myself doing things I enjoy. Some with makeup, some without. Some are a couple of years old... some are only a month old. I always put the date and where it was taken underneath the pic... I was talking with a guy last week who claimed to be one age, then turns out, is 6 years older. The funny thing is, we had met before briefly at a conference just two weeks prior. The lying about the age... well, I understand everyone is insecure about something... But it also says to me, that if he thinks less of himself for being the age HE is, then he likely is applying the same judgment to me. It goes back to the old, "Be the person you want to attract" thing. If you want to attract insecure, deceptive people, then by all means... post fake pics, lie about your age/status, lie about what you are really looking for, etc... What I'm getting sick of are men who claim to be looking for a relationship, but clearly aren't.,.. based on their behavior. Integrity really is at a premium online, which is why I rarely agree to meet anyone there and focus most of my free time on finding someone off line. ... case in point... I just got back from a ski weekend where I met more people who like to do the things I do than I've met online in years. It took a big leap of faith for me to do it... the only person I knew was the organizer, and I was shacked up in a cabin with 12 other people. t But it was awesome and a great experience. And no, it wasn't a singles weekend or anything like that. Just a bunch of people who wanted to get together to go skiing and save a few $$ doing it. Edited February 16, 2015 by RedRobin
Popsicle Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 I don't know, I've only been out on one date from online and he looked the same. One thing I noticed though was that enough men that I need to mention it took pictures that were extremely dark. Like the lights are out and you could barely see him. Why would anyone do this on a dating site is beyond me? I"m also leary of men who only post pictures of themselves in hats. And, this is, unfortunately, very common. It's almost a red flag if he has NO pictures without the hat that this dude is balding and hiding it. All hats shot can easily make one think that there is a full head of hair under there, and I just don't want that shock when we finally see each other in person. If I was eased into it with honest photos showing it, it would be much better.
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