I think she has an imbalance or std. How to approach topic

[Themanwithaplan]

I've been with my current girlfriend since October. She's wonderful; caring, open, sweet, and fun. Since our first time having sex, I have had some concerns. She has a stronger scent down there than any woman I've been with(with others it's barely detectable).

At first, I thought it was me and actually went to the bathroom to make sure it wasn't. I just assumed she needed to shower and ignored it...

The scent is always there, every time. I'm concerned she has chronic vaginitis or potentially something more serious.

She gets extremely wet during intercourse but I've never noticed any strange discharge.

 

I've been stressing a lot about this since I've always been really careful to protect myself and my parters. The notion that she's knowingly carrying something while being intimate with me causes a lot of stress. Do these symptoms sound like a potential std(if so, any ideas)? I plan on approaching her about it, but I care a lot about this girl and don't want to hurt her feelings. If it's just a yeast imbalance or something, I can work with that. If it's something else, I don't know.

[amaysngrace]

Finger her then stick your finger to her nose then put your finger in her mouth.

 

See how she likes it....

[Themanwithaplan]

Finger her then stick your finger to her nose then put your finger in her mouth.

 

See how she likes it....

 

Not sure if you're being intentionally offensive or actually attempting to be helpful. anyways thanks for the response...I guess.

[cerridwen]

Finger her then stick your finger to her nose then put your finger in her mouth.

 

See how she likes it....

 

 

This is the mime approach. ^

 

If you decide to use words, of course be sensitive and choose wisely.

 

If she washes regularly and still smells, it could be as simple as the kind of soap she uses;

her panties might not be breathable; or

she sweats profusely.

It may even be her natural smell and it's simply stronger than other women.

Or, yes, it could be thrush or a STD.

 

Watch her habits. If she doesn't shower before sex, have one together and see if there's a difference.

Then make it a pre-coital practice.

 

If the smell returns, suggest you both see doctors to find the origin of the "strong" smell.

Tell her (gently) that you've noticed it and ask what her thoughts are.

Mention you're concerned you are passing something back and forth between you.

Because this may be the case...

Rather than put her on the defensive by presenting it as her problem, approach it as a shared issue to be sorted.

 

Good luck.

Edited February 13, 2015 by cerridwen

[Themanwithaplan]

 

This is the mime approach. ^

 

If you decide to use words, of course be sensitive and choose wisely.

 

If she washes regularly and still smells, it could be as simple as the kind of soap she uses;

her panties might not be breathable; or

she sweats profusely.

It may even be her natural smell and it's simply stronger than other women.

Or, yes, it could be thrush or a STD.

 

Watch her habits. If she doesn't shower first, have one together and see if there's a difference.

Then make it a pre-coital practice.

 

If the smell returns, suggest you both see doctors to find the origin of the "strong" smell.

Tell her (gently) that you've noticed it and ask what her thoughts are.

Mention you're concerned you are passing something back and forth between you.

Because this may be the case...

Rather than put her on the defensive by presenting it as her problem, approach it as a shared issue to be sorted.

 

Good luck.

 

Thanks,

That's helpful, I was actually debating whether or not to call her tonight and bring it up. Maybe I should hold off until I see her in a few days even though I'm obsessing about it. I effed up by not bringing it up sooner. it's such a dismal thought that I could be infected because if I am, it's going to severely limit my options of partners. I would never put that on someone else. God I hope that's not the case

[cerridwen]

Thanks,

That's helpful, I was actually debating whether or not to call her tonight and bring it up. Maybe I should hold off until I see her in a few days even though I'm obsessing about it. I effed up by not bringing it up sooner. it's such a dismal thought that I could be infected because if I am, it's going to severely limit my options of partners. I would never put that on someone else. God I hope that's not the case

 

I hear your anxiety coming through loud and clear.

 

Now, I'm no doctor (though I'm not above dispensing medical advice willy nilly) but I think most STD's that cause odor are relatively benign.

We need to Google this...

 

But keep in mind it may even be a simple yeast infection!

Are you fearful it's herpes or something?

What's this talk of multiple partners?

If you're not monogamous, yes, refrain from others until this is rectified.

 

I vote for having the conversation in person.

No phone call. Especially when stressed.

Go Google.

And no lamenting! This could very well be a small issue!

Edited February 13, 2015 by cerridwen
Fat finger flurry

[Themanwithaplan]

I hear your anxiety coming through loud and clear.

 

Now, I'm no doctor (though I'm not above dispensing medical advice wily nily) but I think most STD's that cause odor are relatively benign.

We need to Google this...

 

But keep in mind it may even be a simple yeast infection!

Are you fearful it's herpes or something?

What's this talk of multiple partners?

If you're not monogamous, yes, refrain from others until this is rectified.

 

I vote for having the conversation in person.

No phone call. Especially when stressed.

Go Google.

And no lamenting! This could very well be a small issue!

 

Sorry, miscommunication. I don't have multiple partners or any desire to really. I just mean, hypothetically in the future it would drastically reduce my dating pool.

If Im honest about what my biggest fear is, it's that it could be chlamydia or trich. It could just be a chronic yeast infection as I understand they can sometimes be difficult to treat due to the different types of imbalances that exist. I also understand this can lead to infertility if not treated or dealt with.

Thank you again for being so helpful, Im really trying to shake this negative outlook. I'm going to wait to see her to bring it up, I feel like I could potentially sabotage our relationship if I come across as insensitive on the phone.

[travelbug1996]

I'm assuming you are not using condoms. Did you both get std tests before you started having unsafe sex? You can always suggest that if you haven't.

[Toodaloo]

Not sure if you're being intentionally offensive or actually attempting to be helpful. anyways thanks for the response...I guess.

 

If I am not happy with my own juices there is no way in hell I am letting anyone else share them!

 

Its actually a good plan but seriously you need to talk to her. If you can't talk about this stuff then you are not grown up enough to have sex.

 

Oh and don't have this conversation over the phone... face to face for this one.

[Themanwithaplan]

Thanks everyone. To answer some questions: I took a chance with this girl and we've never used condoms unfortunately. If I feel like she's not being honest with me when I ask her, I'll likely use condoms from here on out and strongly consider ending the relationship. Also, I have been tested since my last sexual partner and it came up 100% clean. I plan on testing again next week and hopefully it will have the same result:sick:. I wish I hadnt been so damn stupid and irresponsible.

[todreaminblue]

Thanks everyone. To answer some questions: I took a chance with this girl and we've never used condoms unfortunately. If I feel like she's not being honest with me when I ask her, I'll likely use condoms from here on out and strongly consider ending the relationship. Also, I have been tested since my last sexual partner and it came up 100% clean. I plan on testing again next week and hopefully it will have the same result:sick:. I wish I hadnt been so damn stupid and irresponsible.

 

 

the only real safe sex is abstinence...you do need to take more care....aids is odorless and not identifiable by looking at a vagina........deb

[mrs rubble]

Thanks everyone. To answer some questions: I took a chance with this girl and we've never used condoms unfortunately. If I feel like she's not being honest with me when I ask her, I'll likely use condoms from here on out and strongly consider ending the relationship. Also, I have been tested since my last sexual partner and it came up 100% clean. I plan on testing again next week and hopefully it will have the same result:sick:. I wish I hadnt been so damn stupid and irresponsible.

 

What type of birth control is she using? If she has an IUCD, I'd bet you anything the odour is bacterial vaginosis. The only 2 condition's I know of that cause an odour like you describe are Gardnerella (bacterial) vaginosis and Trichomonas vaginosis, but she'd have itching and burning with Trichs.

P.S; I'm a quailified Lab.Tech. in microbiology.

[Themanwithaplan]

What type of birth control is she using? If she has an IUCD, I'd bet you anything the odour is bacterial vaginosis. The only 2 condition's I know of that cause an odour like you describe are Gardnerella (bacterial) vaginosis and Trichomonas vaginosis, but she'd have itching and burning with Trichs.

P.S; I'm a quailified Lab.Tech. in microbiology.

 

She started the nuva ring about a month and a half ago and ceased using it recently due to what she described as mood swings. I noticed no change either way. She shaves so she does itch occasionally, but if trichs causes burning too, sex would probably be really uncomfortable for her. She seems to always be in the mood so that's a good sign... She HATES using condoms, and that causes me some concern for obvious reasons. My intuition tells me to be careful with her, and I can't pin-point why. I question her intentions- whether she genuinely cares about me or whether she's using me for sex and/or a confidence boost.

Anyhow thank you for the responses. I really love this site.

[mrs rubble]

She started the nuva ring about a month and a half ago and ceased using it recently due to what she described as mood swings. I noticed no change either way. She shaves so she does itch occasionally, but if trichs causes burning too, sex would probably be really uncomfortable for her. She seems to always be in the mood so that's a good sign... She HATES using condoms, and that causes me some concern for obvious reasons. My intuition tells me to be careful with her, and I can't pin-point why. I question her intentions- whether she genuinely cares about me or whether she's using me for sex and/or a confidence boost.

Anyhow thank you for the responses. I really love this site.

 

You're right to be wary, is she trying to fall pregnant?? Use condoms, and do get those test's done.

[Ebelskiver]

I'm a Nurse Practitioner and I can tell you with fair certainly that it's bacterial viginosis or trich. Metronidazole will take care of either. They aren't necessarilly sexually transmitted. Trich would be most likely but BV can be caused by shifting vaginal flora from just about anything. If it's Trich you will need antibiotics as well, if you aren't circumsized it would be best to get antibiotics even if it's BV.

 

You have to tell her, but be kind about it .It WILL be mortifying for her. Just say something along the lines of "I love being intimate with you. You are so sexy. But I've noticed that you have a very strong odor. It's so strong I'm worried you could have bacterial vaginosis. It's really common and can cause women to smell. Can we get it checked out together?"

 

Good luck!