vavso Posted April 4, 2005 Posted April 4, 2005 I am in no contact with my ex G/F. I go to the gym at 1:00 every day . She used to go at the same time then stopped for a month she is now going again at 1:00 I get a pathetic feeling its to see me but she still has not called . She has been dating someone but I do not see them in town together any more I wonder if they split up . Should I change my gym hours to enforce my N/c Is it still no contact if you see each other at the gym from a far
boursin_cheese Posted April 4, 2005 Posted April 4, 2005 To me that would be a break in No Contact. So YES, I would switch my gym time so that I wouldn't be there at the same time as ex.
eastern_mystique Posted April 4, 2005 Posted April 4, 2005 I don't think you should. Why should you change your life and its routines for her? That comes under 'avoidance', which you shouldn't do. It's still NC because you're not talking to her and it's not like you're stalking her from afar, so if it were me I wouldn't change anything. By the way, did she break up with you or vice versa?
greenhorn Posted April 4, 2005 Posted April 4, 2005 IMHO NC is not for proving something, it is for one's own convenience, to help cope up and to heal. NC does involve no news about your ex. I don't know how far it is true for others but had I been in your place then seeing my Ex would have definitely raked my old feelings, so I would have changed my timings. It is for your own good that you change the time or else if you have iron will and you don't get bothered by seeing her everyday then let be it.
BrotherAaron Posted April 4, 2005 Posted April 4, 2005 It's up to you. I almost moved to avoid seeing my ex. I see her every day. It sucked, at first a lot, and then a little less, and still less. Today, I exchanged a few kind words with her on my way out the door to class. You know what? Seeing her has lost it's power to affect me. I can run into her without effect. But only because I see her so often. What I'm saying is that you'll find a way to deal with whatever situation you find yourself in. For something as minor as gym hours, I'd say that it's worth the change if you are really bothered by it. It's my personal opinion, however, that if you were to choose not to change your hours then you will get used to seeing her there, and eventually not care as much. Especially if you're expecting to see her. I agree the NC isn't about avoidance, so being in the same place as somebody doesn't disqualify you. It all depends on how you act. If you are going to be where she can see you, it's important that she sees you having fun and being confortable in your own skin. You will always feel better after walking away from an encounter with your ex where you know she saw you happy, while you'll always feel worse if she sees you upset.
Vavso Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 My ex left me and is dating someone else . I got mixed messages from her and kinda hope that if she sees me she will maybe miss me and want me back . I know her relationship with this other guy is casual as of right now . I know I am propabably backup because I invited her to Florida and she asked If I was going in May . I told her april and she said I dont know . I beleive her and her new BF may be going away in april when her ex husband has the kids this april for spring break .After that she said in her last email she met someone nice and likes the realtionship . " At this point she isn t about to give it up. Other words she said gave some hope . ( maybe false hope is ) She also stopped going to the gym when I was there for a month but now is going again when I am there even looking around to see me when I show up . Maybe she has moved on but maybe she misses seeing me still she has not called or emailed so It looks bad . thanks vavso
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