BroknHrt Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 I have been unable to get into a relationship regardless of how many girls I've been on first dates or had hookups I with in the past year. That number is up to 12-15, but they never continue. I know what it is like to be in love(was in it for 3 yrs) and I want it back. I'm bitter that my ex is still with the guy that she ultimately left me for. I dream about her at least 4 nights a week. I cannot figure out what this means. Sometimes I am with her in my dreams, but most of the times she hates me or purposefully tries to make me jealous. I do not long to be with her, but I long for a connection with someone else like I shared with her. I guess I know it’ll happen at some point, but how come it was so easy for her? Was I that replaceable? I am over her. Am I still a little bitter about how things ended? Yes. But I do not miss her and I do not miss the relationship I had with her. Now, I could have had a relationship with at least 3 of the girls since her, but I knew they did not give me the same feeling I had with her so I had to get out of these fling. However, most of the time, I screw up with these girls I am dating. Almost always it is the ones I like the most. We text, talk, I think they are interested and then I asked them out for drinks, dinner..what have you. It doesn't happen. I'm only 21 but I hate being stuck in this same old riff. How do I break out of it?
Gaeta Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 You are comparing a 3 year connection to a 3 date connection, of course you are constantly unsatisfied. Not one love, not one connection is the same, we are all individuals so therefore each encounter is unique in it selves. It does not mean they can't be better and stronger than what you had with your ex but they will be different. You are now 21, you dated your ex when you were a teen. Things are different as we grow older. Love has had a different meanings to me in my 20s, 30s, 40s. It does not matter why she left or why she move on quickly. She moved on, period. You have no control over it but you have control over putting this behind you and looking for a better stronger love. Open your heart and mind and stop comparing women to your ex.
Author BroknHrt Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 She's almost all the way behind me, but I cannot control my dreams and that's where things get complicated because they feel so real even though they are all so different. However, my heart is definitely open. Right now, I have this girl on my mind. I want to see her again, but I don't want to seem clingy as I've done in the past with others. So, it's been a week since I last texted her. I was the last response and she claimed she would let me know when she was free since she had to rain check a date(legitimate excuse). Since a week has gone by, I realize this is probably a loss. And it is easy for me to chalk girls up as losses, but when they continue to happen over and over again it makes me think and ultimately realize I am the problem. What's the source? I cannot answer that because I do not know. PS: Only reason I mentioned my ex in my first post is because of the bitterness/jealously which I am working through and the dreams. You are comparing a 3 year connection to a 3 date connection, of course you are constantly unsatisfied. Not one love, not one connection is the same, we are all individuals so therefore each encounter is unique in it selves. It does not mean they can't be better and stronger than what you had with your ex but they will be different. You are now 21, you dated your ex when you were a teen. Things are different as we grow older. Love has had a different meanings to me in my 20s, 30s, 40s. It does not matter why she left or why she move on quickly. She moved on, period. You have no control over it but you have control over putting this behind you and looking for a better stronger love. Open your heart and mind and stop comparing women to your ex.
Recommended Posts