Lindsaycaper Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 My ex and I seperated about 4-5 months ago. We've separated before but we got back together after about two months. Normally when I break up with someone, I never get back with them, but I love him more than anyone I've ever loved. Our break up was really bad tho. We wouldn't acknowledge eachother if we saw eachother or would make snappy comments. At one point if either of us tried to reach out to the other, we would be very rude. After a few months he started trying to make conversation and being very sweet. Sometimes he would even do outrageous things to make sure I say hi to him or acknowledge him. Recently we've started chatting a little. It surprised me because normally we are very rude to each other. I reached out to him just by sending ":)" and he responded very friendly . Which shocked me because like I said, normally he's very rude to me or I'm very rude to him. I feel like before if we had a serious fight we'd break up, immediately hop right back into a relationship and never resolve our issues. Last night I asked him was he in the town where he lives (it's like 40min-1hr away from me). He responded saying he'd be in town later and asked why I asked. I told him I would be in town visiting friends. He asked me what time would I be there, but I didn't end up going. Right now I'm just very grateful and happy that we are getting along. I feel like before we rushed things and never really got to know eachother. Now I'm seeing a more friendly side of him and we aren't fighting. Everyone keeps telling me that I should take it slow with him and not rush things. The Fact that we aren't back together bothers me. I am happy that we are at least speaking but I'm so used to us just getting back together that this seems so weird to me. I don't want him to get the impression that I'm NOT hoping to build a relationship which results in us being back together. It's been a few days since we've been speaking. Is this normal? Should I tell him I really would like to work things out? Or is taking is slow actually healthy?? I just want to do things differently this time. A friend told me to talk to him every OTHER day and that we should take baby steps. I've never been through this process before honestly and I just hope it's helpful.
Norajess Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 How long were you two together before you broke up?
Author Lindsaycaper Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 How long were you two together before you broke up? Going on two years
KBarletta Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 Or is taking is slow actually healthy?? I just want to do things differently this time. What were the issues that led to you breaking up, and do you have specific and realistic plans to address them? If the answer to Part 2 of the question is Yes, I would still recommend taking it slow no matter what. There is hardly ever a good reason to rush things no matter what the circumstances might be, but especially in a breakup-reconciliation situation.
Author Lindsaycaper Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 What were the issues that led to you breaking up, and do you have specific and realistic plans to address them? If the answer to Part 2 of the question is Yes, I would still recommend taking it slow no matter what. There is hardly ever a good reason to rush things no matter what the circumstances might be, but especially in a breakup-reconciliation situation. Honestly there were lots of things that contributed to us breaking up. Lots of outside sources getting involved, both of us being extremely immature (I can admit that). I also think that we didn't get to know eachother very well. It was more of a lust type thing at first (at least that's what Im picking up). It just seems like we did everything backwards. Like becoming boyfriend and girlfriend BEFORE getting to know eachother. So I def get what you're saying as far as rushing things and how that's a bad idea. Because now when I speak to him it's like he respects me more than before. Before our communication was terrible which is why we never resolved things
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