kumar123 Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 I hadn't seen this guy in 4 weeks. We've only been on 4 dates but he's called me within the 4 weeks. Anyway, he said he'd spend Valentine's Day with me and had a lovely date planned. We met up earlier today for the first time in a few weeks and he could only hang out for 3 hours, which seemed really odd. He had to leave around 8pm which seemed really early (he told me this in advance and told me he had to leave early because his Mom needed him for something). I had a difficult time opening up because it had been so long since we saw each other. Anyway, when we first met up, he did warn me that something came up for Valentine's Day, and that his Mom is pressuring him to go to dinner with him. It sounded like BS. I told him he needed to tell me the day we met up if he could go, and he left saying that he'd get back to me that evening... he just needed to talk to his Mom. I haven't heard from him at all. Thankfully I have backup plans and will be spending VDAY with someone whose company I thoroughly love and enjoy. However, I think it's really weird he never got back to me. What should I do? Should I just never talk to him again, follow up with him? What should I do if he does contact me? I feel really stupid. I can't believe a guy made solid plans with me like that, decides that he MIGHT cancel and never gets back to me to confirm if the plans are canceled.
LoveRefreshed Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 make other plans, don't tell him. When/if he gets ahold of you, tell him tough ****, you have plans. Even if he does like you, he is treating you like **** and you should set the tone early that you will not play these games. 3
marcelo.santos Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 yes, very odd.. maybe there is another girl there, maybe not - this make not so difference at this point as you and him are not in a serious relationship - I know it is though. in my opinion, is too early for you too demand something more serious from him. What he did is something that you do need to put a red flag and be careful. But I would forgive it and give another chance to him (do not talk about this episode) and try to contact him one more time. Be polite, be friendly, forgive him - date him - give him one more chance. If he do it again, stay cool - and say him that is not ok to do things like this (but stay cool, say it firmly and be clear - but be cool) - 1
Author kumar123 Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 yes, very odd.. maybe there is another girl there, maybe not - this make not so difference at this point as you and him are not in a serious relationship - I know it is though. in my opinion, is too early for you too demand something more serious from him. What he did is something that you do need to put a red flag and be careful. But I would forgive it and give another chance to him (do not talk about this episode) and try to contact him one more time. Be polite, be friendly, forgive him - date him - give him one more chance. If he do it again, stay cool - and say him that is not ok to do things like this (but stay cool, say it firmly and be clear - but be cool) - Thank you. He did text me canceling and thank goodness for your reply.... it saved me! I handled it as cool as I could and told him I don't like plans being canceled but understand if he needs that time with his family. I wished him well and left it at that. I do think the family thing is BS and that he's seeing someone else, but you are right, we aren't a serious couple so I can't be too mad about it. I'm more just mad that he made plans for me for VDAY and then canceled so last minute. Thank God I had backup plans! From his texts, I'll likely hear from him again. I know you said to give him one more chance but this whole thing does leave a bad taste.
clia Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 He hasn't seen you in four weeks and then cancelled your Valentine's Day plans at the last minute? He wouldn't get any more chances from me. I think you should move on; he's not that into you and/or has something else going on. 2
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 As a guy I'll tell you he's bull****ting you. Girls love a guy who treats their Mom right, but this guy seems to be abusing that. I call BS on the whole thing it smells like ****. told me he had to leave early because his Mom needed him for something Reality: I need to leave early for another girl. something came up for Valentine's Day, and that his Mom is pressuring him to go to dinner with him Reality: Something came up with another girl on valentines day. Cut him loose and move on. 2
Satu Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 Ignore. He's failed his reliability test and sounds shifty. 1
Author kumar123 Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 Yes, he wrote me some lame followup text saying how he appreciates me being so understanding but how his Mom comes first. Egh... I try not to read tones into text but it just seemed sort of dismissive... like oh sorry, but I'm not really sorry because my Mom comes first. So if he texts me again to hang out (this is likely to happen) in a couple of weeks, what should I do? I have a strong feeling this will happen since for most of the date he kept telling me how in a couple of weeks things will slow down, he'll have more time to get together and will be more reliable. I don't like him anymore, but am not sure if I should even give it a second chance on my terms (like I'm free and have nothing better to do). I'm a big believer in second chances, especially in early dating when things come up. I know I've certainly had weird things come up and was flaky, but it's unusual because in his case I'm really turned off by the VDAY thing. If it was ANY other day I wouldn't care. It's more just the fact that he planned a really nice date, picked a venue, time, planned it in advance, and then waits last minute to text me that he can't make it because of his Mom.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 Yes, he wrote me some lame followup text saying how he appreciates me being so understanding but how his Mom comes first. Egh... I try not to read tones into text but it just seemed sort of dismissive... like oh sorry, but I'm not really sorry because my Mom comes first. So if he texts me again to hang out (this is likely to happen) in a couple of weeks, what should I do? I have a strong feeling this will happen since for most of the date he kept telling me how in a couple of weeks things will slow down, he'll have more time to get together and will be more reliable. I don't like him anymore, but am not sure if I should even give it a second chance on my terms (like I'm free and have nothing better to do). I'm a big believer in second chances, especially in early dating when things come up. I know I've certainly had weird things come up and was flaky, but it's unusual because in his case I'm really turned off by the VDAY thing. If it was ANY other day I wouldn't care. It's more just the fact that he planned a really nice date, picked a venue, time, planned it in advance, and then waits last minute to text me that he can't make it because of his Mom. Text him right now and say you two aren't a good fit, and you don't want to continue seeing each other. That's what you should do. If you don't want it to sound as harsh, sugarcoat it as you will, but that's the gist of what I would say. 1
Recommended Posts