sexyrunwaymodel1 Posted April 4, 2005 Posted April 4, 2005 ok i have this boyfriend and we have been together for a while and we are madly in love.he lives in lincoln nebraska and i live in cali. i went to visit him about 6 days ago. and he told me that after i left he was going to montana to see his brother cause he had just got out of the hospital and he was going with one of his ex's but his brother is kind of seeing her now. but my problem is that i have not talked to him since he left me at the airport. he left me a voice mail after i texted his ex girlfriend that to tell him i was mad at him because he has not called me. he sais in the voice mail that he had no service out there and he was sorry and he loved me but still he could have used his brother phone or his ex's phone because they both wouldnt have mind. so what does that mean is he trying to ignore me and doesnt want to be with me or is it that he is just on vacation and was out doing his thing?and for me not to worry about it its a "guy thing" cause i know we left on really good terms we didnt even fight once. but it still hurts my feelings that he didnt even call me once even for a minute to see how i was doing. but he is suppose to be home tonight. so what should i do should i listen to what he has to say and tell him how i felt about the hole situation or should i just dump him and move on because i should be with someone who wants to know how i am doing all of the time cause i know if i was in his shoes i know i would have made sure that i called him even from a pay phone. but i am not sure if u guys can understand me or not but i would really like to know ur opinion. thank you
Cupcake Posted April 8, 2005 Posted April 8, 2005 I think you are being a bit insecure. Of course, I would fee the same if my boyfriend were spending time with his XGF. But LDR's always suck! They are really hard and involve a lot of trust. Before breaking up, you must communicate the situation maturely. Tell him how you felt, but don't get angry or out of control.
HotCaliGirl Posted April 8, 2005 Posted April 8, 2005 I agree with you that if he really loved and cared for you, he would have called - ESPECAILLY since it is LDR. That was so mean of him not to - ESPECIALLY knowing that he was with his ex gf! I could not be able to put up with that...
RecordProducer Posted April 9, 2005 Posted April 9, 2005 Hey! Leave it! My BF is also madly in love with me, but when he goes to his business trips, he barely calls me. Otherwise he is all over me. Men have quirks just like we do. Relax! Don't ask him anything, he will tell you anyway what he did. He probably didn't want to talk to you for a minute only.
aaron425 Posted April 9, 2005 Posted April 9, 2005 I agree with Cupcake that you're being a little insecure. But I can still understand your frustration. He definitely should have called you at least once and probably more, considering that he was with his ex. But I can see a small window of possibility that he just wasn't sensitive enough to comprehend how you'd be feeling while he was away. This in combination with spotty cell phone coverage might make a good explanation. I certainly don't think this alone is something to break up over. You last saw him on great terms!! There was no indication of anything amiss! He's definitely made a mistake, but I suspect it was due to insensitivity more than anything else. I think with some direct communication with him about how you felt when he didn't call, you can mend this situation--making him more sensitive in the future. I guess I also suspect that there's more that you're not telling us (other things that you may not be happy about in the relationship) if you're prepared to break up with him after this mistake of his.
Author sexyrunwaymodel1 Posted April 9, 2005 Author Posted April 9, 2005 well i just found out that he got drunk and ****ed his ex girlfriend two nights in a row so i had a right to be a little worried. he said that it was a mistake and we are trying to work through things right now and see were we end up because he says he loves me and he feels bad about it and he only wants to be with me but he told me that he still had a little bit off feelings for her but didnt want anything to do with her. so what should i do now?
helena abadi Posted April 10, 2005 Posted April 10, 2005 kick his ass and keep him out of your life until he stops being such a schmuck. he might not clean up his act. be prepared for that. it's important to let him know that treating you like this is not acceptable.
Author sexyrunwaymodel1 Posted April 10, 2005 Author Posted April 10, 2005 o how can i do that cause we r still 2gether. he has been alot better with me but it still isnt the same!
helena abadi Posted April 10, 2005 Posted April 10, 2005 is it ok for him to lie to you and sleep with someone else?
Author sexyrunwaymodel1 Posted April 10, 2005 Author Posted April 10, 2005 no its not but i feel like he knew that he was in the wrong and we are trying to work things out between us. do u think that is bad?
helena abadi Posted April 10, 2005 Posted April 10, 2005 is this the first time he's strayed? if it is, sure, then i believe there's room for forgiveness and to work it out. you're in a vulnerable position, living so far away. how can you continue to validate and keep the relationship strong, and mutually faithful if it's long distance? but if you continue to live with doubts, wonderng where he is, what he's doing, and if he's telling you the truth,... then is that what you can settle for?
Author sexyrunwaymodel1 Posted April 11, 2005 Author Posted April 11, 2005 no its not and i dont want to be with him i just cant leave him why? i dont know but i know i need 2. i need 2 find god before i search 4 another relationhip.so how can i leave him without wanting him back so bad???
Bubbles Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 Good Luck with that..."how do I leave him without wanting him back so bad?" We have all been asking the same question for thousands of years now. You need to beleive in yourself. You must tell yourself that you DESERVE a better relationship than someone who sleeps with another girl, confesses to you what he has done and gets forgiven enough to go and do it again to you......is that what you really want for yourself? You tell him that your Heart is not the same as the confessional booth at church. Once you confess your sins to your s/o are'nt you supposed to cease and decist all inappropriate behavior? I have an acquaintance that I run into every so often (usually on laundry days, I live in an apartment complex) and she tells me on a regular basis her husband is running around on her......she found out about yet another girl that he has slept with......blah, blah, blah.......let me tell you, the first time she was telling me all this stuff I felt badly for her but after she has told me about the 6th, 7th, and 8th time? it all just sounds like blah, blah, blah to me because she NEVER does anything to make her marriage any better. I think to myself "honey you MUST enjoy the pain because you never really take any steps to change your situation. I know that she does a lot a threatening but that's about it. She has never once broken up with him or moved out with the kids so.........it does'nt really tell me that she is making changes to better her situation. Don't be like that lady I know please.........set your rules down (which I think cheating is one of our relationship rules) and stand by them. How do you think he would react if YOU slept with another man? I'll bet he would break up with you. Why should he be forgiven? You deserve better that this.......be true to yourself!!! bubbles
Bubbles Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 One more thing.......the reason why you can't leave him is because you are looking for his approval. You want his approval that YOU are the best girlfirend he has ever has and that he would newver do ANYTHING to hurt you. That's why you can't leave him. You committed yourself to make this a good relationship and you have convinced yourself that you are going to do everything in your power to make it that way.....well, the power has left your control. HIS actions were not yours to control. So who's not worthy now? Leaving is the absolute hardest thing to do but you need to ask yourself this question.....is being with him easier than being apart from him? If you stay with him, are you not going to doubt every little thing now? What would be worse for you? bubbles
Author sexyrunwaymodel1 Posted April 11, 2005 Author Posted April 11, 2005 u are very true and i dont need that kind of stuff in my life because i cant be there to watch him so it int even worth it and i will break up with him and move on to someone who will treat me alot better then that thank u for all of ur help. it is going to be hard because i feel like the only way i can be happy is by being with someone and that isnt how it should be i should want to be with someone and not need to be with any one.
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