tiararose Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 (edited) Hi. I broke up with my boyfriend two years ago because he said that I dont understand him and he gave me too much chances. I did everything to be with him when we were in relationship andand said im sorry when im not at fault. And here i am, still thinking about him every single day. What should i do? I still want him but he changed his number and stuff. I hate That i still want him:( Because he was my first kiss and I couldnt forget what we have done together;( Edited February 12, 2015 by tiararose
PegNosePete Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 I am afraid this is how the world works. You want him but he does not want you, so you need to move on. You can't force him to want you back. Don't have any contact with him, it will only make it worse. 1
Satu Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 I think it might help if you get some counselling/therapy to help you to move on. You can't go back, so you'll have to go forward. 2
marimari Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 How long did the relashionship last? Maybe you just miss him as your first love, and that's all. Did you have any boyfriends during that two years?
Author tiararose Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 Weve been together for two years and planning to get married. and suddenly he said all the stuff and said he already moved on the next day. I tried to befriend with other guys but i still thinking of him. How long did the relashionship last? Maybe you just miss him as your first love, and that's all. Did you have any boyfriends during that two years?
stillafool Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 It takes time to get over your first love. He has moved on and you have to as well. If it becomes to hard to handle think about independent counseling.
mightycpa Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 Weve been together for two years and planning to get married. and suddenly he said all the stuff and said he already moved on the next day. I tried to befriend with other guys but i still thinking of him. You'd better be careful about doing all this thinking that makes you believe life would have been great with him. You're going to convince yourself that your life right now is not all it can be. That's no way to live. You need to start thinking that this is the best thing that could have happened to you. You need to seriously sit down and count your blessings. If you have all this time to think, then maybe you should go to school, work harder if you're already in school, or take on a new challenge at work. This daydreaming about how things might have been are not only a waste of your time, but damaging. Your ex is an example of what you are supposed to do. Remember that you had a life before you met him, and he was just some guy. He can be that again, if you let yourself think that way. 2
Author tiararose Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 I am afraid this is how the world works. You want him but he does not want you, so you need to move on. You can't force him to want you back. Don't have any contact with him, it will only make it worse. I know it is better to not contact him, i will try. Thankyou for your advice 1
Author tiararose Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 I think it might help if you get some counselling/therapy to help you to move on. You can't go back, so you'll have to go forward. Yes thankyou for your suggestion, appreciate it 1
Author tiararose Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 It takes time to get over your first love. He has moved on and you have to as well. If it becomes to hard to handle think about independent counseling. Yeah, it is indeed hard. I will try to get over it. Hope time will heal the wound. Thanks for your advice
Author tiararose Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 You'd better be careful about doing all this thinking that makes you believe life would have been great with him. You're going to convince yourself that your life right now is not all it can be. That's no way to live. You need to start thinking that this is the best thing that could have happened to you. You need to seriously sit down and count your blessings. If you have all this time to think, then maybe you should go to school, work harder if you're already in school, or take on a new challenge at work. This daydreaming about how things might have been are not only a waste of your time, but damaging. Your ex is an example of what you are supposed to do. Remember that you had a life before you met him, and he was just some guy. He can be that again, if you let yourself think that way. I cried reading this. I know I have to start appreciating what I have. Im okay when i broke up with him. I think i can get over it. But since these past few months kept thinking about him. Seeing his fb profile and he deleted everything its just hurt, it seems thatveasy he forgets about me. I know i will find someone soon but i cant stop thinking about him. I will try though. Thankyou so much for your words
KBarletta Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 I cried reading this. I know I have to start appreciating what I have. Im okay when i broke up with him. I think i can get over it. But since these past few months kept thinking about him. Seeing his fb profile and he deleted everything its just hurt, it seems thatveasy he forgets about me. I know i will find someone soon but i cant stop thinking about him. I will try though. Thankyou so much for your words One thing you need to do is stop looking at his Facebook or anything similar. If you really want to move on and forget about him, delete/block him on social media so you aren't tempted to check in, all it does is keep your wounds fresh and make it harder to heal and move on. Similarly, any reminders, photos, etc., that you have around your home, box them up and shove them into the back of a closet. They are the past, and you need to start focusing on the future.
Author tiararose Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 One thing you need to do is stop looking at his Facebook or anything similar. If you really want to move on and forget about him, delete/block him on social media so you aren't tempt to check in, all it does is keep your wounds fresh and make it harder to heal and move on. Similarly, any reminders, photos, etc., that you have around your home, box them up and shove them into the back of a closet. They are the past, and you need to start focusing on the future. I know:( i tried to not to look at it but i still searched for it. i already put all the things in a box but i feel like he is still there. Im thinking of throwing them out but i remembered he said when we get into a fight, he said he will never throw his ex's stuffs because for him its immature. But i still feel he's there and looking at his profile and knowing he is not dating anyone kinda made me feel relief. I kept thinking what if we meant to be? I know if its meant to be it will be but i cant stop myself:(
stillafool Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 I cried reading this. I know I have to start appreciating what I have. Im okay when i broke up with him. I think i can get over it. But since these past few months kept thinking about him. Seeing his fb profile and he deleted everything its just hurt, it seems thatveasy he forgets about me. I know i will find someone soon but i cant stop thinking about him. I will try though. Thankyou so much for your words Sweetie, whatever you do do not stalk his FB. Do everything to keep him off of your mind. No peeking, talking about him or listening to anything about him. I'm so sorry but it is best to pretend he is dead.
Author tiararose Posted February 16, 2015 Author Posted February 16, 2015 One thing you need to do is stop looking at his Facebook or anything similar. If you really want to move on and forget about him, delete/block him on social media so you aren't tempted to check in, all it does is keep your wounds fresh and make it harder to heal and move on. Similarly, any reminders, photos, etc., that you have around your home, box them up and shove them into the back of a closet. They are the past, and you need to start focusing on the future. Im trying not to look at his profile. I will try to move forward, wish me luck! Thanks!
Author tiararose Posted February 16, 2015 Author Posted February 16, 2015 Sweetie, whatever you do do not stalk his FB. Do everything to keep him off of your mind. No peeking, talking about him or listening to anything about him. I'm so sorry but it is best to pretend he is dead. I know i will meet someone soon, someone thats better. Im trying to put the image in my head aside, trying to pretend he's not even exist. Its hard but I will try. Thank you so much!
jus d'orange Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 I know i will meet someone soon, someone thats better. Im trying to put the image in my head aside, trying to pretend he's not even exist. Its hard but I will try. Thank you so much! It seems like you're far enough removed from the breakup to be past the emotional rollercoaster, but you've allowed him to become a sizeable part of your thought process and self-identity when it comes to relationships. In addition to making sure you cut the possibility of "checking up" on him out of your life, DO get rid of the stuff from the relationship. It's not childish, it's just stuff and you don't need it anymore! If there are things in there that could reasonably be useful to somebody else, give those things to a charity. Also, stop using him as a basis for what a good relationship/partner could be like and as part of your own identity. Find other, more productive ways of building those images in your head. Of course, you COULD meet somebody new and wonderful soon, but you could also spend some time being single and being happy about being single. Develop some self-confidence that doesn't have anything to do with a relationship, and in turn that will make your next relationship that much better and stronger from your end.
Author tiararose Posted February 18, 2015 Author Posted February 18, 2015 (edited) It seems like you're far enough removed from the breakup to be past the emotional rollercoaster, but you've allowed him to become a sizeable part of your thought process and self-identity when it comes to relationships. In addition to making sure you cut the possibility of "checking up" on him out of your life, DO get rid of the stuff from the relationship. It's not childish, it's just stuff and you don't need it anymore! If there are things in there that could reasonably be useful to somebody else, give those things to a charity. Also, stop using him as a basis for what a good relationship/partner could be like and as part of your own identity. Find other, more productive ways of building those images in your head. Of course, you COULD meet somebody new and wonderful soon, but you could also spend some time being single and being happy about being single. Develop some self-confidence that doesn't have anything to do with a relationship, and in turn that will make your next relationship that much better and stronger from your end. Hi. I think I will just keep the stuffs but will think its just a part of the memory. If it will makes me restless afterwards, i will throw it away for sure. Im enjoying my single life at the moment, doing the stuffs that i never get the chance to dobefore. somehow i now glad that i didnt get married (we're planning to before) that when i think about it, i wasnt comfortable with his mom controlling him (he is almost 30!) - I totally understand that every mom is close to her children. But i couldnt stand it when I come to think of these stuff, maybe there will be other people who can understand him, but me, I dont think so. So im glad. Its just somehow i miss him. But ill be okay I guess Thank you so much for your support and advice, I really appreciate it Edited February 18, 2015 by tiararose
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