SELdeMER Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Met a guy online. We texted just about everyday the week before we met, had a good first date. One day later he asked me out for a second date for the next week. He canceled the second date because something came up. He continued to text me for another week and then finally planned the second date. Next day he texted to say he had a great time and then chatted for awhile, we exchanged several messages he still had not asked me for a third date so I asked him if he would like to get together again the next week (wasn't sure if he even wanted to go out again--But I wanted to see him s I figured what the h*ll). He said yes, and so I planned our third date. I paid for the date also and it was good, he kissed me at the end of the date (just a nice peck on the lips). The next day I texted him to tell him I had fun, he said he did too, then we chatted for a bit. He did not ask me for a fourth date. I decided not to push things and so I didn't ask him if he wanted to go out again--plus I asked hm out on the previous date so I figured the ball was in his court this time. Over the weekend I didn't hear from him and I figured that he was doing the fadeout. On Monday he texted me in the morning and we texted back and forth all day. Same with Tuesday....but he still has not said anything about going out again... I am unsure what is happening here. I like him, and would like to see him again. But I am unsure if he just shy or taking it slow, or if he isn't interested at all. He is a quiet guy, and I think he is shy..he was shy after he kissed me. My previous BF's were very transparent, they were planning the next date right away. They did not text me or communicate like this, without me knowing that we were going out again. There was no confusion as to where they stood. But, my past BF's were all very needy right from the beginning. This guy is different, does this sound like normal dating behaviour? Maybe I just don't know what normal is? I am not an experienced dater, I just started online dating and all the guys I met in my past were acquaintances first. This guy has a similar dating past as me....maybe he just doesn't know what to do? Maybe he is trying to dodge the Valentine's Day nonsense?... Do you think it would be a good idea to nudge him again, and say "If you want to get together next week, let me know" or would that look desperate on my part? Thoughts?
Leigh 87 Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 He isn't that into you. If a guy is into you, he texts YOU after dates - to ask if you got home safe and to say that they had a great time. They are the ones who ask YOU on the first few dates - if this guy was interested, he would have asked you on a date on the weekend - instead, he didn't even text you. He is lukewarm about you and is exploring his options open. He likes you enough to chat to and possibly see again, but he wasn't exactly that impressed by you. Move on, lose his number and hold out for a guy who is transparent with his intentions. Men are simple. When they want something they go for it and there are no ifs or buts.
Gaeta Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 I agree with Leigh_87. If he is THAT shy that you have to hold him by the hand than too bad for him. It's a cruel cruel world and he'll finish last.
Author SELdeMER Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 Well for all our dates he walked me home (in -30 degree weather no less--and far out of his way) so he knew I got home alright. I don;t understand then why he would continue to text me, following up on things we talked about during our dates, sending me silly pics of his dog, and offering to lend me something.
Author SELdeMER Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 hey are the ones who ask YOU on the first few dates - if this guy was interested, he would have asked you on a date on the weekend - instead, he didn't even text you. He did text me on last week, just not on the weekend. I am ok with texting a lot in the beginning stages, We have been communicating since late December, BTW, almost everyday.
todreaminblue Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Well for all our dates he walked me home (in -30 degree weather no less--and far out of his way) so he knew I got home alright. I don;t understand then why he would continue to text me, following up on things we talked about during our dates, sending me silly pics of his dog, and offering to lend me something. Why dont you bring it up in a phone conversation,ask him again would you like to go out again and let him know you really need a bit more input from him organising and asking for dates, because you are not sure where you stand with him and you want to know he really does want to date you..make it gentle,simple importantly for you, make it clear....then see what his response is.....deb
youknow Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 you have absolutely nothing to loose asking him if he wants to see you again. so if you like him, ask him....
Mrin Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 Mmmm, he could be shy or just not feeling it yet. Or it could be his MO. I wouldn't nudge him. Let him approach. But don't write him off just yet. But as others have said, when a man starts to "feel it", you'll KNOW.
Author SELdeMER Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 Yeah, thanks, I think I will try to bring it up next week if he still hasn't planned anything yet and is still talking to me, i have nothing to lose really. If he isn't into me, then that's fine but at least I will know. If I just "lose his number" I will always wonder and feel bad about not having done something. I can understand if he is lukewarm....we have only had three dates...sometimes you just don't know yet about someone. It took me awhile to warm up to my last BF, in fact I didn't even like him when I first met him, lol. And I expect that he is dating around, because I am also dating other guys. But I like this guy the best so far.
Author SELdeMER Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 But as others have said, when a man starts to "feel it", you'll KNOW. Yes, this is soo true, my ex BF's were totally into me right from date 1. Problem I that they were needy and clingy as all hell, lol. I would prefer a slow and gradual build-up, I wasn't sure I how I felt about this guy until our third date--which was the best date IMO.
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