rie05 Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 So it's been four weeks since D-Day and it will be four weeks NC between me and my EX-AP tomorrow. I'm starting to have better days but I still think about everything nearly all day everyday. Maybe slightly less everyday.... If you've read my previous post.. Your'll see my EX-MM lied to ME till the bitter end. Told me it was me who he wanted to be with but he ran back to her with his tail between his legs so fast it was unreal!!.... So. Now FB. Yes... I should not be checking I know but I truely can not help it. I'm done with him. Even if he tried to contact me. I just find it almost funny what they are posting.... Most recently they have both changed their profiles pictures to one of them kissing passoniately (sort of) and another one holding each other. They might as well put one of them having sex up at this point. Who are you trying to fool? Me?? I'm not biting. I locked my FB down. No sarcastic comments, nothing. Total silence. Enjoy your "prize". He is just a lier and a cheat. You can forgive a year affair in two weeks? Good for you. I could not.
Cinnimon Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Facebook is just a farce. A lot of people posting stuff to make others think their lives are perfect. Its funny, I get a lot of private messages from friends telling me about all the messed up stuff going on in their lives but when you look at their page it's all about sunshine and rainbows......OKAY You are probably better off not to look. You could always post your own pictures of you being fabulous and enjoying your life, except make yours the truth. Hugs to you. Hang tough. 2
Author rie05 Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 Facebook is just a farce. A lot of people posting stuff to make others think their lives are perfect. Its funny, I get a lot of private messages from friends telling me about all the messed up stuff going on in their lives but when you look at their page it's all about sunshine and rainbows......OKAY You are probably better off not to look. You could always post your own pictures of you being fabulous and enjoying your life, except make yours the truth. Hugs to you. Hang tough. Is it a facade of some sort. Ex-MM had previously said to me "I wish my life were as good as it looks on FB". Let them post their rainbows.... She knows I look. It's a game. I'm not playing. She wants me to bite but I'm refusing. I almost find it amusing. I've been hurt so much for so long that it can't hurt anymore. It just doesn't. 2
Cinnimon Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Is it a facade of some sort. Ex-MM had previously said to me "I wish my life were as good as it looks on FB". Let them post their rainbows.... She knows I look. It's a game. I'm not playing. She wants me to bite but I'm refusing. I almost find it amusing. I've been hurt so much for so long that it can't hurt anymore. It just doesn't. Hmmm. Why is she so worried about you? Shouldn't she be worried about her husband and their marriage or something........
Author rie05 Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 Hmmm. Why is she so worried about you? Shouldn't she be worried about her husband and their marriage or something........ Just a front... She's got the fabulous prize.... !!! Not!!! 1
Cinnimon Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 Just a front... She's got the fabulous prize.... !!! Not!!! The BOOBY prize, is more like it. 1
Realist3 Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 Is it a facade of some sort. Ex-MM had previously said to me "I wish my life were as good as it looks on FB". Let them post their rainbows.... She knows I look. It's a game. I'm not playing. She wants me to bite but I'm refusing. I almost find it amusing. I've been hurt so much for so long that it can't hurt anymore. It just doesn't. It is a facade, but you are totally playing, hence this thread. 7
Ruffian1 Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 "Enjoy your "prize". He is just a lier and a cheat." Well, they don't call it Fakebook for nothing. However, if he would have left for you, then you would have won the lier and cheat. Just say'in . . Think maybe you dodged a bullet . . .? 3
Author rie05 Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 It is a facade, but you are totally playing, hence this thread. Haha... Maybe but at least I'm not in their eyes
Author rie05 Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 "Enjoy your "prize". He is just a lier and a cheat." Well, they don't call it Fakebook for nothing. However, if he would have left for you, then you would have won the lier and cheat. Just say'in . . Think maybe you dodged a bullet . . .? Yes. True. But at that point I didn't understand what I was truely dealing with!! Bullet dodged for sure 1
nikki76 Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 Why dont you just block them? I know it can be tempting to look, but by still being friends with them, you are letting them know that you still care. Block them and you no longer exist to them on Facebook.
Tayla Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 Keep remaining distant with no contact. It appears from the post that you may still be feeling betrayed by his lies.... Wonder if that was how his wife felt...... Lets hope they can mend their hearts . Your heart deserves mending too.... 2
Author rie05 Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 Rie think about it like this, not many guys like their business all over the internet, and she may have demanded that they do the pic exactly how they were positioned and he may have been forced to agree. Men hate that stuff. He may have done it but didn't want to and finds it controlling. The displaying in your face is more a woman thing. Thinking like that is allowing yourself to hope. Telling yourself he isn't happy. I'm sure he is doing just fine. Hope is a dangerous thing. With hope in tact, your'll never move on. Giving up every last ounce of hope is the only way to truly move on. I have given up. Totally. I feel like he can't hurt me anymore than he has already. When D-Day hit he changed all his FB pics to pics of them so I don't believe he wasn't in cahoots with this one unfortunately.
Author rie05 Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 Why dont you just block them? I know it can be tempting to look, but by still being friends with them, you are letting them know that you still care. Block them and you no longer exist to them on Facebook. Oh. Of course we are not friends on FB. These are simply profile pics/cover photos. He blocked me after D-Day but she has not. I've never been friends with either of them. 1
Author rie05 Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 Sorry he did that. I could never forgive or forget such a thing. I was not trying to instill hope. I thought only pansy guys took interest in such catty behavior. You are better off. Too many real men out there. Yeah. It was really cra*. Especially as he was saying it was over between them and he wanted to be with me. He didn't even have the guts to tell me he was moving back there. She told me. I listened to him beg her on the phone in a 3 way convo and listen to him say that I was nothing. I'm not sure if I believe I was nothing. All I know is I could never forgive him.
Josmatjes Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 My xmm told me he never wanted to be without me and he didn't love his wife and we were soulmates and blah blah blah.... That's what hurts all of us, those goddamn words, why convince us so thoroughly only to break our hearts. I'm so mad at my xmm, and I'm still so hurt. I truly truly believed him. You see we were good friends before anything occurred with us so I trusted him. Their we're rumors of him being a snake but I ignored them....now I wish I had listened and steered clear..... Let's face it, we are all mad at ourselves for being played! Let's just learn from it and get stronger!! 3
Author rie05 Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 That is awful. Find someone beautiful for you and you will have your own story picture. These men are really lecherous toads anyhow. Many thoughts for you. I hope it gets better soon. Hurt never feels good. Thank you. You too. You seem very caught up in it like I were... Still am really. Getting there slowly 1
Author rie05 Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 My xmm told me he never wanted to be without me and he didn't love his wife and we were soulmates and blah blah blah.... That's what hurts all of us, those goddamn words, why convince us so thoroughly only to break our hearts. I'm so mad at my xmm, and I'm still so hurt. I truly truly believed him. You see we were good friends before anything occurred with us so I trusted him. Their we're rumors of him being a snake but I ignored them....now I wish I had listened and steered clear..... Let's face it, we are all mad at ourselves for being played! Let's just learn from it and get stronger!! Because they need to keep the OW hooked. What's the quote? Women use sex to get love. Men use love to get sex? (sorry -- very sexist) but is this not true?? I think it was very cruel of my ex-MM to do all the things he did.... For what?? To keep me hooked for sex?? I put so much effort into every aspect of our relationship. But apparently that was an unattractive quality!!!
RickFox Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 You need to stop, you really do. You say you are done but you need to stop lying to yourself. This is your way to stay connected and it's not helping you. I know exactly what I'm talking about and just because you don't say anything doesn't mean she's not getting pleasure from your pain. I did the same thing with xmw, even though we were never FB friends. I found out later she was always looking at mine. She did the same thing, put her pic of her cuddling next to her husband, even after telling me her marriage was no better than it was two years prior....but in the end you can't care and if you're still checking up, no matter how you justify it, you still care. You need to block her, not for her, for you. 2
Friskyone4u Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 Why don't you just try to be happy that you have learned the truth about this guy and that you have learned a lesson to stay away from married men. The overwhelming portion of the same it will end up like yours did. This obsession that everyone has with Facebook just amazes me: if you were neighbors or worked together and had to see each other it would be one thing but when all you have to do to stay detached is to not go consciously clicking your mouse looking for trouble is just bewildering to me. I think it might be some sort of hope that you may find out you were wrong and there is still hope that he will come back to your affair. Let it go and the next time a married man catches your fancy remember how you feel now and run like hell away. 3
truncated Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 Stop looking at their facebook pages, Their page is there for them to put up whatever photots they like, and you are only torturing yourself buy looking at them. Whatever the pictures are, that is their truth, and though it hurts to think it, maybe you need to accept the fact that neither you or his wife know him as well as you thought you did. 3
Author rie05 Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 You need to stop, you really do. You say you are done but you need to stop lying to yourself. This is your way to stay connected and it's not helping you. I know exactly what I'm talking about and just because you don't say anything doesn't mean she's not getting pleasure from your pain. I did the same thing with xmw, even though we were never FB friends. I found out later she was always looking at mine. She did the same thing, put her pic of her cuddling next to her husband, even after telling me her marriage was no better than it was two years prior....but in the end you can't care and if you're still checking up, no matter how you justify it, you still care. You need to block her, not for her, for you. I totally agree. Of course I still care. It's only been a couple a weeks but I'm starting to feel a lot better. I still think about it all of the time. The pictures of them together at first made me feel sick but now they just make me dislike him further. I know I shouldn't look. I do need to block her.. I know. 1
Author rie05 Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 Why don't you just try to be happy that you have learned the truth about this guy and that you have learned a lesson to stay away from married men. The overwhelming portion of the same it will end up like yours did. This obsession that everyone has with Facebook just amazes me: if you were neighbors or worked together and had to see each other it would be one thing but when all you have to do to stay detached is to not go consciously clicking your mouse looking for trouble is just bewildering to me. I think it might be some sort of hope that you may find out you were wrong and there is still hope that he will come back to your affair. Let it go and the next time a married man catches your fancy remember how you feel now and run like hell away. I don't want to be back in the affair. The last month detoxing from this c*ap has been awful. I was rock bottom. Like a drug addict withdrawing from their drug of choice.
minimariah Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 (edited) Enjoy your "prize". He is just a lier and a cheat. You can forgive a year affair in two weeks? Good for you. I could not. I don't think she forgave. I'm sure she has her own reasons for staying with him for now - they soon might be separated, it is way too early to tell. either way - you need to put yourself 1st and just do things that YOU love. make YOU happy, you know? let him go, let his wife deal with him if she wants. I really think you're better off without him. look at this as just another experience in life, learn from it what you can & move on... one heartbeat at a time. Edited February 12, 2015 by minimariah
sandylee1 Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 Thinking like that is allowing yourself to hope. Telling yourself he isn't happy. I'm sure he is doing just fine. Hope is a dangerous thing. With hope in tact, your'll never move on. Giving up every last ounce of hope is the only way to truly move on. I have given up. Totally. I feel like he can't hurt me anymore than he has already. When D-Day hit he changed all his FB pics to pics of them so I don't believe he wasn't in cahoots with this one unfortunately. Most likely she changed the pics on his profile. You know after dday, the B'S demands full transparency and that includes: Facebook, email and phone passwords they often put gps trackers on phones and the car they link phones so the BS sees all messages and emails on their own phone I'll bet his wife changed his pic as a message to you. d
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